Category Archives for "Kids"

0 How does one start conversations with people or dogs?

Vaibhav asks: I can’t talk much with people, especially girls. I can talk with my friends and their parents easily, but with other people it’s hard for me. I’m scared of street dogs also. So can you talk me out of it?

Hi Vaibhav –

Regarding speaking to girls, of course it’s always harder to be “at ease” when you’re with someone where there’s more at stake.  You’re fine with your friends and their parents because you’re comfortable in the knowledge that they’ll accept you as you are, to the complete degree that you want.  But if that’s not the case, and you want and need especially to be accepted by them, and in particular ways, absolutely you’ll be stymied.  I’m great at greeting strangers in a park, but if one of them is holding a hot Italian Sub sandwich, I’m going to be a lot more nervous around them, and worry about how I’m appearing to them, so they’ll like me and want to give me… well… all of it.  And yes, Vaibhav, to a large portion of the population, girls are a hot Italian Sub sandwich!!!

My main trick for talking with people you don’t know and you want to accept you is to ask them about Continue reading

0 How to keep your weight down when your family feeds you too much

Naima asks: How can I lose weight quickly, when my mother wants me to keep eating for my health, and eat fattening food?

Hi Naima –

Great question, and there is a trick to it.  Lots of times grownups want their kids to eat a lot, with the idea that eating big amounts makes them healthy.  While the kid might want to eat less, to lose weight, in order to look better.  Now as we all know, eating way too much or way too little can be really harmful.  So your mother might be right, to the degree that she wants you to eat enough to be strong and healthy – but you’re right, to the degree that you don’t want a lot of fattening foods.

The solution is for you to make certain demands about what foods you eat, and then you won’t have to worry so much about how much you eat.

Vegetables and fruits are really the key here.  Lots of people just have them on the side of their meals – say they eat a big slab of meat with a big potato or load of pasta, and a little salad on the side.  Or for breakfast they’ll have eggs, sausage, bacon, pancakes, toast… and a tiny glass of Continue reading

0 Tips to make hard studying easier

Vaibhav asks: To get some relief from my boring study timetable I do some yoga every morning, and that really helps me to improve my skills. Can you suggest any idea to make my study a little more easy? And here in India we are celebrating Diwali. So HAPPY DIWALI to you!

Hi Vaibhav –

Well, of course dogs never study.  We have training sessions or obedience classes, but once they’re over, we’re usually free to run and bark and sniff around.  We’ve never quite mastered the concept of Homework (and I truly hope we never do!!!).

But from what I’ve seen and heard of others, I can throw a few suggestions for easier studying your way:

1)      Concentration is usually the key.  If you can keep focused on what you’re supposed to be focused on, studying goes immensely faster than if you’re Continue reading

0 What to do about outspoken children

Buffy asks: My daughter is very outspoken. It gets her in trouble in school with her teachers. What should I do?

Hi Buffy –

What a great great question!  It gets to the heart of so much!

You see, I think it’s just GREAT when kids are outspoken!  You’ve probably heard of the rule that was common about a hundred years ago, “Children should be seen and not heard.”  Well I disagree with that completely!  I think kids are brilliant and honest and hilarious, so I think they should be heard even more often!  (Of course I especially think children should mostly be smelled, but I know most humans don’t!)

But I also realize that there are humans who don’t share my view on this.  More importantly, it’s also really important that children are in school, they learn the appropriate behaviors there, which include sitting still, raising their hands, speaking respectfully, and only speaking when allowed.  And the reason these behaviors have to be taught is that they are completely unnatural for Continue reading

0 How to create a website

Rose asks: How can one make a Website?

Hi Rose –

There are basically two ways to go about creating a website.  And both of them do most of the technical work; then your job is to create something fantastic and make it wonderful.

First, there are lots of websites you can find that provide reasonably simple ways to create simple sites.  They’ll give you templates (which means the basic setup of the pages, which you can then add to, to make it your Continue reading

0 How to build self-esteem

jillu asks: Dear Shirelle, I want to get more confident about myself, but I can’t keep my concentration on any work I do. I am totally disturbed. I have an inferiority complex, which keeps me from getting confident; so how then can I become normal?

Hi jillu –

I’ll be glad to give you some suggestions on improving concentration, and I’m all about building confidence and helping with feelings of inferiority – but I want to disagree with you about one thing.  You ARE normal!  MOST people feel inferior a lot, and almost ALL people have trouble with concentration.  Of course, there are degrees of these things, and if your anxiety is truly overwhelming you, I very much recommend you find a good psychotherapist to help you with it (they are really good at anxiety, and can probably get you feeling at least somewhat better within a few weeks).

Okay, first, regarding concentration, check out Rated T’s question about it here (just use the search box).

But with self-esteem…  Everybody is worse at some things than most people.  Most people aren’t the very best at anything.  This is absolutely fine, and does not cast any bad light on anyone’s worth.  I will never be as fast as a greyhound, as big as a Great Dane, or as smart as Lassie.  Big deal!  I know I’ve got some worth (at least to you – you didn’t write that annoying collie, did you!  You wrote ME!).  And I especially know that I have worth to my dearest friends.  They don’t want a smarter or stronger or prettier dog – they love ME.

So you’re feeling inferior.  Well, look at the two of us.  I can almost certainly run faster than you.  I’m very sure I can bite harder and bigger than you can!  But you can probably talk.  You can probably grab things with your hand.  You probably can do math.  You can probably sing.  Well I can’t do any of those – so who’s the inferior one here?!

But you don’t need me to put down your sense of inferiority – if you liked and respected it, you would never have written that letter to me.  What you want is to move past it.  And the best technique I’ve ever heard for that is to master something.  Lots of people never master anything, so they don’t really realize how much they can do!  So is there something that you love?  Do you love music, or art, or building things?  Could you take a class, and learn to play the violin, or make beautiful pots, or rebuild a car engine?  Just the act of doing one of those things will make you feel immensely better about yourself.  And doing it to the degree of mastery?  Oh jillu, you won’t believe how good you’ll feel about yourself!  Like the day I caught a squirrel and brought it in and dropped it at Handsome’s feet as he was climbing out of the shower!  I felt so great!  (It was funny, his reaction wasn’t exactly what I expected though – something more like, um, terror!).

The other thing I really recommend is to try to catch yourself when you say things that put yourself down.  When you walk into a room of strangers, do you tell yourself “No one here wants to know me, I’m unwantable?”  Well, that would be a really good thing to talk yourself out of.  How about replacing it with “I don’t know anyone here, but if I’m friendly, probably someone here will like talking with me.”  It’s not huge confidence, but it’s the truth, right?

And after all these suggestions, I have one more thing I want you to do.  And that’s that I want you to get back to me after you try some of this.  Let me know how it’s going.  I would love to help you with this, and I’m sure it would do a lot of this website’s readers good to see how you work with it.

Deal?  Can we shake paws on it?

Great!  Good Luck, and I hope to hear back from you soon!

Shirelle

0 When should people marry?

jillu asks: When will I get married?

Hi jillu –

Well of course I’m just a dog, not a psychic, so I can’t give you any great knowledge about what day, month, or year you’ll get married.

But I can talk about when you should get married, and when you shouldn’t.

We hear every day about fights, separations, and divorces, that come from couples marrying when they weren’t quite ready.  So often young people are in a huge rush to get married, and my advice is to Hold Continue reading

0 How to deal with being taken out by an older sibling

princess23 asks: My older sister is a year older than me, but she hangs out with much older guys and she usually takes me along. I don’t feel comfortable with these people but sometimes I have no choice, and the worst part is that I feel left out. What should I do to not feel like this?

Hi princess23 –

I understand your frustration, but it’s kind of funny in a way, because so many younger siblings get so mad when their older brother or sister refuses to take them with them!  Normally, the younger ones get left at home, bored and lonely and rejected, just like… um… just like… US DOGS!!!!

However, you bring up an excellent point, that you can feel just as bored and lonely and rejected with your sister as you would at Continue reading

0 What makes children bad?

patjo asks: Do you think that children are bad because of themselves or their parents?

Hi Patjo –

Well, I don’t know if this is the answer you want, but my answer to your question is…  No!  Absolutely Not!

I know what you’re asking, but what I’m saying is that I don’t think children are bad!  I think children are absolutely fantastic.  I think children are magical miracles – funny and brilliant and sweet and fiery and… oh they just smell Continue reading

1 When is it okay to kiss your boyfriend?

Tizolina asks: Hi, I am 14 years old and I kissed my boyfriend. Is that bad?

Hi Tizolina –

Wow, I kissed my first boyfriend when I was probably about four days old!  And I’ve been kissing boyfriends, girlfriends, my mom, strangers, teachers, scary dogs, and most of all, my best friend Handsome, ever since.  I can’t imagine going through a day without lots and lots of kissing!  What would life be without that?!

But of course, doggy kisses are treated very differently in our world than the kisses of a 14-year-old to a boyfriend.  Some people don’t like being kissed by dogs because they find us dirty or sloppy (total idiots if you ask me!), but our kisses are never controversial in the way yours can be.

This is because, when it comes to teenage romance, there are so many different values that different people Continue reading