How to deal with being taken out by an older sibling

princess23 asks: My older sister is a year older than me, but she hangs out with much older guys and she usually takes me along. I don’t feel comfortable with these people but sometimes I have no choice, and the worst part is that I feel left out. What should I do to not feel like this?

Hi princess23 –


I understand your frustration, but it’s kind of funny in a way, because so many younger siblings get so mad when their older brother or sister refuses to take them with them!  Normally, the younger ones get left at home, bored and lonely and rejected, just like… um… just like… US DOGS!!!!

However, you bring up an excellent point, that you can feel just as bored and lonely and rejected with your sister as you would at home!

So I have two thoughts.  First, you have every right to engage with those older guys!  Talk to them, get to know them, have fun with them.  You’re probably at least as much fun as your sister, and you have every right to enjoy that.  Plus it will get you a lot of experience at hanging out with guys their age, which will probably be great for you in a few years!!!

But my other thought is to just talk with your sister about it.  She must be taking you along for a reason.  Is it so she feels safe, that none of those guys will try anything she doesn’t want if you’re there?  If so, that’s pretty great.  She values you, and counts on you for protection.  But then she ought to treat you better.  Maybe she could try to include you in the conversation more, or insist that the three of you do things that you’d enjoy as well as her and him.

Or is she taking you along because she’s told she has to?  If that’s the case, you might want to talk with whoever’s making her do it, and see if there’s another solution.  Maybe they could chaperone your sister’s dates some of the time.  Maybe they could help to ensure that your sister treats you better on those occasions.

And then there’s another thought I just had:  Can you bring a friend along too?  Maybe you have a really great girlfriend who would be a lot of fun to have on one of these excursions.  Or maybe you could even bring a boy, who might think it’s really cool that you’re double-dating with this older couple (I’m not forgetting our last conversation!!!)!


Whatever the reason, and whatever you choose, you should realize that you’re in a position of power here, princess23!  Your job is to come up with a way to make these times more fun for you – “or,” you have the right to say… “Else!”





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