Category Archives for "Kids"

How to deal with a bratty younger sibling

BlackGermanShepherd asks: My younger brother is 8 and he always hits me, and I get in trouble because of him. He always goes into my room and takes things and yells at me. I feel like I have no power over him. What should I do?

Hi BlackGermanShepherd –

 

Your problem sounds like something we dogs go through all the time.  Our humans’ friends decide it would be a great idea if they introduce their puppy to us, thinking we’ll be great pals – and the next thing you know, we’re being bitten, jumped on, and really annoyed for the whole time we’re supposed to play together.  Or worse, our humans actually decide to get a new puppy, and we’re putting up with this nonsense all the time!

 

And just as with you, the worst thing about this is that, when we get fed up and turn around and bite that little pest in the butt (which is completely a dog’s instinct, and how puppies have learned manners for millennia), who gets yelled at?  WE do!  It’s ridiculous!

 

Now I’m sure everyone’s been telling you that, over time, you and your brother will become great friends, and he’ll get very mature, and he’ll even become protective of you.  And I have no doubt that that’s true.  But that doesn’t help right now.  Now, what you need is a way to get through this.

 

For that, I have a few suggestions.  First, try to Continue reading

How to compete with your friend over someone

ilikechicken asks: My school divides into two sections, and the kids in each only do things with the other ones in their section. My best friend, C, is in one section and I’m in the other. I never see him. But, my other friend (who I had a crush on) is in C’s section. One night when I was spending the night at C’s house, he said she was flirting with him. I got a little sad but kept it inside. What should I do? (I’m in contact with the girl through Instagram FYI)

Hi ilikechicken –

Now I’m having a bit of a problem here.  What you’re saying is clear, but you’ve left out a huge part: How did C feel about the flirting?!  If he was telling you that he’s not interested in the girl, but just wanted to warn you that she’s looking elsewhere than you, then my suggestion is that you get him to help you win her over!  Remember: You’re more interesting, because you’re not in their section of school, than anyone there is!

But if C is interested, then you have another issue – a far more difficult one.  And this question goes back centuries!  What a horrible situation to be in!  But of course, it makes sense – why wouldn’t you and your best friend be drawn to the same sorts?

If this is the case, I can’t give you a definite answer on what to do, but a few ideas strike me.  If one of these sounds good to you, you might want to try it:

 

1)    Go out to dinner with Continue reading

All About Happiness… how to get more of it!

All About Happiness… how to get more of it!

What is Happiness?
Sometimes we’re handed Happiness (like when I’m handed a piece of rigatoni!).
Sometimes we seek Happiness and find it (I’m walking outside looking for something interesting and a squirrel runs by and I get to chase it).
Sometimes we just feel Happiness for no reason (I’m sleeping on the doormat, and life feels good). And then there are times when nothing in the world can give us Happiness (maybe I’m feeling ill, and won’t even take that piece of rigatoni Handsome hands me).
We know Happiness when we feel it, but what is it? I say it’s a state of mind, a way of feeling. Sometimes it’s tied in with Excitement (like about that rigatoni or that squirrel), but not always. It’s just something inside us that says, “life is good right now, and I not only believe that, but I feel it.” Now we know that life is good when someone hands you that rigatoni (I’ve got to think of another example, or I’m gonna drool all over this computer!). But what is it that makes you feel that life is good when nothing special is going on, or that keeps you from feeling it when things are good? That is the question!
Some people say it’s all about Faith. If you believe in something or someone who oversees everything and intends the best for you, then you can survive bad times and still be happy. In Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s epic novel “The Brothers Karamazov,” he talks about how all the famous saints were ecstatic when they were being tortured and killed. (Okay, I know, I know… No, I’ve never read that book, and neither has any other dog. But Handsome listened to a reading of it in his car once, and I overheard that one bit.)  Others say it’s all about living in the moment, not paying too much attention to what’s happened in the past or what’s coming in
the future. And still others say there’s no such thing as achieving happiness. That you can achieve integrity or virtue, but happiness just comes and goes. While yet others say achieving integrity or
virtue is the only true happiness.
Now you’re probably looking at this with a “What in the world?!” look on your face. Why is this crazy dog talking about philosophy, when all you want to know is how to get more candy or not hate your homework so much?!
Well, I can’t guarantee you the extra candy, but I can say that, from a dog’s-eye-view, every argument I quoted above is True.
You see, I’m an absolute optimist. Any second, something good could happen, and I don’t want to miss it when it does. So even when I sleep, I’m listening to hear if anyone’s going to sneak through my yard and I can chase them. And even when I’m glum and bored, I’m listening to hear if Handsome is even thinking of going to the kitchen, where he might give me a treat or just
accidentally drop something! I never know what’s coming next, and I’m always hoping it’ll be something I like, so I’m always looking forward to it. That, for a dog, is Faith.
Meanwhile, our doggy brains are smaller than yours, and we can’t think about the past and future in the way you can. And that definitely helps us stay in the moment, and, yes, happy. So
what if, say, someone said something absolutely horrible to me a month ago? Are they here now? Are they saying it now? Is it affecting me now? No. But Handsome’s right there in front of
me, and could he decide to scratch my head right now? Yeah!! And yes, also because of our smaller brains, we dogs do have integrity! Whether it’s a powder-puff lapdog, a starving stray, or
the most vicious junkyard guard, we dogs are always honest – simply because we don’t know how to lie. And that takes so much stress away from us! It’s easy for us to be happy, since we aren’t
sitting around worrying about what to say to whom – we just say the truth! I guess you could argue that some dogs are more virtuous than others (that darn Lassie has always made it so hard
for the rest of us – trying to live up to her example is like all of you trying to be Mother Teresa!). And sure, I’ve stolen food off the table, and climbed on the couch when I shouldn’t. Still, my
integrity is pretty great.
But overall, I think the key to Happiness is in being able to find something that makes you happy. When I’m feeling really sick, everything makes me feel bad, and the only thing that keeps me from total misery is knowing that sickness always goes away eventually. But when I’m not sick, I’m always looking for something to enjoy. That’s why we dogs always curiously sniff around wherever we go… we want to see if there’s anything great out there.
You humans do it – you’ll channel-surf with a remote, looking for a TV show you like, or you’ll “window-shop” at a favorite store, browsing to see what you might want. So why can’t you do that everywhere, and all the time?!
Imagine it – you wake up in the morning and think “What’s out there that’s cool today?” You go to school or work or camp, and instead of thinking “Oh they’re going to make me do things I don’t want to do,” you ask yourself “What’s out there that excites me?!”
Here’s the hard part for a person – it’s not about making up your mind beforehand; if you go to school expecting to meet the love of your life, and you don’t, you’ll be disappointed. But if you
go with open excitement, you just might make a new friend, or read a poem you love… or meet the love of your life! And, incredibly, if you do that, you’ll be happier overall, even when nothing is making you happy, just because it might!
But here’s the funny part. Most people walk through their life expecting or fearing something lousy, and so when something that would make them happy walks by, they don’t even notice it. See? They’re not able to be made happy! You don’t have to be like that! You can be happier!
So try it, and see what you think. Try doing this for a whole day. Oh sure, you’ll come across 10,000 things that you don’t like. But what’s the one thing that you find that does make you happy? A flower? A good friend’s smile? A joke? A song?
Or… you know, I’m still thinking about that rigatoni!

How to deal with a friend getting pregnant

prettyndsweet12 asks: I recently found out my best friend is pregnant. I’m really happy for her, but I wish I could be there with her to support her. She means so much to me: she’s a second mom to me, she taught me a lot and treats me as if I’m her own. I asked her if anything was gonna change between us, and she said she won’t be able to talk to me a lot – which is hard because she lives far away (well it’s not really far, but it seems like it because I hate not being able to see her). She said I’ll never lose her and we’ll still remain close, so my question is how can we remain close friends if I won’t be able to talk to her, and how do I get used to her being pregnant?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

I have a more long and serious answer to your question, but first I have to say: one thing about pregnancy is that you don’t have to get used to it, because once you get used to one stage, another one is happening, and before too long the pregnancy is completely over!  Then what you’re getting used to is a completely new and original tiny human being!  (Or sometimes more than one!)

What you’re really dealing with, prettyndsweet12, is mourning.  You had a relationship – a really great one – and it’s ending.  It will never be the same again.

Sometimes this happens because someone’s personality changes, sometimes it happens because someone moves away, and sometimes it happens because someone dies.  In your case, it’s none of those.  It’s just that the most wonderful amazing spectacular thing you could ever wish for has happened to your friend.  And while she’s still the lovely and loving person you’ve always known, your relationship to her will be as changed as in any of those other situations.

The important thing for you to realize is that the big word here is Continue reading

1 Why would a good student suddenly start doing poorly?

ilikechicken asks: Recently I’ve been turning in late homework and forgetting important things on tests. I don’t know what on earth is going on and my parents have already punished me a couple times. Please help!

Hi ilikechicken –

 

This is a really common problem.  In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever known a human who didn’t go through this at some point.  The sad part is that your parents are doing what they think is best (punishing you), but you already feel bad about it, so punishing isn’t going to do any good.

I don’t know your life, of course, but I’m going to make a guess.  I’m guessing that you’re going through a big transition right now.  Maybe it’s something you’re aware of (you’re becoming a teenager and your body’s changing shape), or maybe it’s something else (you’re starting to develop new awarenesses and ideas).  Or maybe it’s something  outside of you, such as that your family’s moving or splitting up.

Regardless, it is totally normal for a kid – of whatever age – to have some trouble in this transition, and for it to show up in their schoolwork.

Why?  I don’t know.  But there are a lot of things about myself I don’t quite know.  Like, why is it that, every night when I go to bed, I lie across the bed instead of up-and-down it, even though I know Handsome’s going to shove me over to that other position when he climbs in?!  Got me, but I still do it!

There are really only two solutions to what you’re going through.  The first is to Continue reading

Does Handsome know Shirelle writes AskShirelle?

Audreykimberly146 asks: Does Handsome know that you make this website?

Hi Audreykimberly146:

 

 

Absolutely, Handsome knows all about the website.  I’m a pretty bright dog (in some ways), but I could never have set up the technology or the relationships to make this website work.  Handsome just has such a huge respect for my opinions that he’s gone to great trouble to help me do this, and help out people all over the world.

 

There are, however, a few things Handsome doesn’t know about.  He doesn’t know about my other social media, which involves what we dogs bark and howl at each other from distances; he doesn’t know what I learn by sniffing everyone all over; and he doesn’t know just how good it feels to be a dog, to run like crazy, to bark like I’m insane, to jump on everyone, and to never have to wear clothes (except on certain irritating occasions when he puts a shirt on me, finding it just hilarious).

 

But about this website, oh yeah, he knows it almost as well as I do.

 

Thanks!

Shirelle

 

Is Shirelle a boy or a girl?

aana asks: Are you a boy or a girl? (Please say girl!)

Hi aana –

You’re so funny.  Absolutely, I’m a girl.

I don’t have any puppies (and I can’t, because of an operation), but in every other regard, yes I’m fully female.  Like other female dogs, I’m extremely protective (you do NOT want to walk into our yard uninvited!), and very nurturing of those I love.  We wander less than most male dogs, and bark more.

But other than that, there’s really not much about me that comes off as Continue reading

3 What to do when your parents won’t listen to you

Adri asks: If I ask my dad and grandma about how they treat my stepsister better than my sister and me, they will get mad and say, “Ooh shut up you are over-exaggerating,” and everything is going to explode. My grandma has been mad at me for some time, and my dad has always been treating us like we don’t matter — whenever it is night and he is saying good night he gives her a kiss and forgets about us — and I am fed up, but I am tired of it so I stop caring, and just Grrrr!

Hi Adri –

I do have a very high opinion of humans, and so I like to think that you’re somewhat mistaken, that your grandma, and especially your dad, would actually understand what you’re going through – as long as they were given the information in a way they could take.  Maybe they’re in too negative a place right now to hear it though.

So if so, what can you do?  Well, awful as it sounds, maybe your job is to just Continue reading

How to get a two-year-old to behave

adrianna90978 asks: I am sick and tired of being mistreated by everybody. My little brother who is only two and a half already hits us. My parents say it is our fault because we frustrate him, but we haven’t done anything to him! And there’s so much else going on too. How can I get over all this?

Hi adrianna90978 –

 

 

Okay, I have a simple answer for you on this one.  Your parents probably aren’t being completely right, but not exactly wrong either.  But you’re right – it’s not your fault.

Now if you had a five-month-old puppy, and it was biting you all the time, you’d certainly be right to be irritated.  And it might be right for someone to tell you not to do things to bother it.  But it would also be right for you to just know that it’s a puppy, and that this is what puppies do!

Similarly, two-year-old humans are notorious all over the Continue reading

What are some ways for young people to make money?

Arjai asks: The school I switched to is awful: the teachers barely speak English and they don’t teach us (all they do is give us the answers and make us copy off the board). There is no proper air conditioning, although we live in the desert. The kids are awfully-behaved and the classrooms are overcrowded. We had thought it was a good school but it’s awful. I know my mom will let me go back to my old school if I can up with at least 3000 dollars, so my question is: is there anyway I can make money fast?! I can’t mow lawns because there is no grass. I can’t babysit because no parent in their right mind would leave me with their kids. I’m thinking maybe something online. Selling stuff is not the safest thing for a girl living in my country, so could you please give me some options for making money fast?

Hi Arjai –

 

It looks to me as if you’ve already read my earlier answer about ways for young people to make money.  I’m sorry that none of those solutions sound like they’ll work (though I do have to question why you say “no parent in their right mind would leave me with their kids!”  Are you frightening?  Or maybe just young?).

 

My best thought is that all of those other suggestions were about how to make money from people who didn’t know you all that well.  It doesn’t take a lot of knowledge about someone to let them mow your lawn, or buy a magazine subscription from them.  And even with babysitting or pet-sitting, as long as you have a basic trust in the person, you’re willing to give them a chance.

 

But what about looking for work in a different Continue reading

1 19 20 21 22 23 58