Category Archives for "Kids"

0 It Would Have to Be …living with change…

0 How to show self-confidence without looking conceited

Prettyndsweet12 asks: Recently I’ve had a big opportunity that boosted my self confidence to the highest it’s ever been! I was accepted to be a state finalist at the National American Miss Pageant! Ever since then I’ve found the beauty in myself and I’ve been a lot more confident in myself, but sometimes I feel like I overdo it. So my question is, when does being self-confident turn into being self-conceited? ?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Your question is something I hear about often.   Nice people like you want to enjoy your success and feel pride, but don’t want to come off as too “full of themselves.”  And you wonder what it is that you have to do to manage it correctly.

The answer is simply in how you Continue reading

0 Does numerology work?

Shizuka blue asks: Are the numerology sites true? Just for fun, I checked my numerology report. It says that I am good but the faults I have read about me made me worry. Now, its like I am trying to judge myself whenever I do something, and it’s made me quite depressed. Before, I took it as a game but after having read it, I am afraid I really bear those traits. I don’t know how to get these thoughts out of my mind. Can you help?

Hi Shizuka blue –

As a dog, I believe in a very few things.  I believe in my own heart, I believe enormously in my human friend Handsome, and I believe in the awesomeness of the whole world around me (including the things I can’t see, like love and magic and the voices that come to us in the middle of the night from nowhere).

There’s also a lot I don’t not believe, but don’t understand.  I know there’s such a thing as Nuclear Physics, but I can’t pretend to grasp one proton of it!  I know there’s an infinite universe out there, but I can’t comprehend something that goes on forever.  I know there’s a number called Pi that also goes on forever that’s the key to how a circle is defined, but I can’t tell you all of it, or why it works.  I know that our physical makeup, and maybe lots more, is determined by incredibly small strands called DNA that hold more information than the biggest computer… but that completely mystifies me!

So when it comes down to any method that says it can predict the future, or personalities, or anything else like that, my answer is always, “Could be.  I have no idea.”

But I will admit that Numerology is a particularly Continue reading

0 What to do when your parents won’t give you, or let you earn, what you want

Casca00 asks: I’m 17. I have not been the perfect daughter but I believe I have been respectful to my parents and fulfilled my responsibilities. But here’s the issue. My father is a Doctor and my parents’ financial condition is fine. But I am pretty much broke. My brother and I don’t even own cellphones. We don’t have any working computers because they broke and nobody seems to care. I had to borrow my friend’s laptop and ask our lovely neighbor for the password to their wireless. My dad uses the computer at his workplace and both of my parents have Samsung Galaxy something something mobiles. They don’t give me regular pocket money, so therefore I can’t even save up, though there is so much I want to do, like taking cello lessons or learning foreign languages. Last summer I stayed home for the vacation instead of going with my mother, and begged my father to let me find a job. I even found many workplaces that are looking for employees in our neighborhood. He refused without giving a reason. Most of my friends are working on holidays and such, so I don’t see why I couldn’t. I tried reasoning with them and asked for them to at least give me a regular allowance or give me some chores to do. But it’s impossible to make them listen to me. They don’t refuse me on this; they just say ‘OK’ then leave it as it is. I am starting to get tired of this. To be fair, we live in a nice house, they recently restored my room, and they never ask for anything I can’t do. I am grateful for things they’ve done but… I want my financial freedom. What should I do?

Hi Casca00 –

This is a really perplexing situation.  I often get letters from kids who resent that their parents can’t afford things for them, or from parents who refuse to give their kids stuff and want them to get jobs instead.  But you’re saying your parents are refusing both.

And this leads me to only one conclusion – that it’s not about money, it’s that your parents don’t want you to have certain things.

Is it possible that they simply don’t believe someone your age should have a cell phone, or a computer?  I can see why a parent might feel that way, as we hear so many awful stories about what kids find online or write about each other.

Although, even if that were the case, it wouldn’t explain them not wanting you to take cello lessons or learn foreign languages.

So I’m stuck.  With one possible exception.  You could have a parent who thinks like Handsome’s mother’s father!

Handsome’s grandfather was, like your parents, a caring and generous soul.  And he was also very Continue reading

0 How to keep from crying

Shizuka blue asks: What’s the best way to hide tears? My friends say that I am very emotional and a bit short tempered. Can you tell me how I could control my tears and anger when I need to?

Hi Shikuza blue –

One big difference between humans and dogs is that humans are taught to hide their feelings, a lot.  If someone steps on my tail and I give a loud yelp, no one thinks that means I’m less tough, or less cool, that they thought before.  But when a person reacts to life in an honest, emotional way, your friends get uncomfortable – they don’t know how to deal with you; it’s as if you’re suddenly like a child, or demanding too much of them.

It’s all really weird.

What I want you to do is to work to develop exactly the skills you ask for – and no more!

What I mean by that is that I want you to learn to find ways to keep yourself from showing anger or hurt when showing them isn’t a good idea – but never to keep yourself from feeling them.

Your feelings are the core of who you are, Shikuza blue!  Your love, your anger, your hatred, your fears… they truly are what make you you.  Shutting those feelings down makes about as much sense as tying your arms up or covering your whole head and body in a burlap sack!

But just as we dogs do have to learn, at times, to stay quiet, or stay still, you can learn to hold those reactions in.

The best suggestion I have is probably the opposite of what you usually try – and that is to Continue reading

0 When your parents won’t let you join a team

problempup asks: I have asked to join the school’s athletic team, but my parents said no. Help, Shirelle – this could be my big break!

Hi problempup –

There’s not a lot I can say, without knowing why your parents said no.  But I’m going to guess their refusal comes down to one of two reasons, and I’ll offer you my best thoughts on those two (but if I’m wrong, and it’s another reason, let me know!).

Usually, when I hear parents refusing to allow their kid to do an activity, it’s because they’re concerned that the youngster isn’t devoting enough time to their studies.  And that’s especially true when an activity is as time-consuming as an athletic team.

But if that’s the case, you can give a decent argument.  Firstly, you can tell them that Continue reading

0 What do dreams mean?

Wolfy asks: Dreams are weird. That is a fact of life. There are also many myths about them. There is one myth I have been wondering about… If someone is thinking about you, that you will dream about them. I think it maybe is true? Maybe, as a common species, our minds are connected telepathically, which could explain why we get those feelings, like someone is watching us, or other little feelings we get that involve other humans. We know that people think about other people of course. The question I am asking is if someone thinks about you, will you dream about them?

Hi Wolfy –

Dreams are ridiculously cool.  Whenever I think about them, my mind just goes haywire.  Think about it – during your waking hours, your brain is working hard to take in all sorts of information (what you see, what you hear, smell, touch, and taste, what people are saying to you, what you need to remember to do later today… and so much more!), but when you sleep, it does its own thing, presenting images and stories that have nothing to do with what’s happening directly around you.  And we all do it – if you’ve never watched a dog fighting or hunting in its sleep, you have an enormous treat ahead of you!

And so for years, the greatest minds have struggled to figure out exactly what dreams are.  Some people say they tell the future.  Some say they’re our channel to learn what God wants us to know.  Sigmund Freud said they’re repressed parts of our personalities coming out.  Carl Jung said their our connection to the Collective Unconscious, a world of meaning shared by all.

And what do I think?

I have Continue reading

0 How to create an advice website

Doglover 101 asks: You’ve given me great advice and inspired me to help others with their problems. Surprisingly, they think I’m good at it! My teacher also thinks I’m a pretty good author (So good she said I was the best author in the class). So um… I was thinking that maybe… Maybe I could have a website to give advice like you? But I’d be a human. So if I was ready enough maybe you could give me some tips to help me give advice to people all around the world. But only if you think it would be a good idea – and if running the type of website that you have (e.g. categories, banner art, links etc.) is free. What do you think?

Hi Doglover101 –

One great thing about what I do with this site is that there’s no sense of competition. People come to this site because they like what I say. If they don’t like my point of view, they go to other sites. And I’m not here to say my ideas are better or worse than the ones on those other sites – they’re just mine. So I have no problem with you starting a site too. But your concerns are correct – it’s quite a bit of work.

To begin with, creating any website takes some work and some money. I have been very lucky to have two incredible designers to help me create mine – one who did it for the first year or so (while it was being built), and then another who’s done it ever since. And that last one, Sherice, brought in the amazing Martin, the artist who has made all those gorgeous pictures you see on the different pages. And yes, while their prices were extremely reasonable, I did have to pay them for the work (well, actually, Handsome paid them – we pups don’t have a lot of ways to make money for ourselves).

Then I spent a lot of time getting questions from my friends and Handsome’s, so that we’d have some material on the site when it opened. And those took a lot of time to answer, of course.

Then, the biggest issue became Continue reading

0 How to raise funds for a cause at school

Evies pack asks: My friends and I started this “fundraiser,” going around the school and collecting signatures for endangered animals. Before lunch, it was a hit. We totaled in 39 signatures! But after lunch, rumours were saying that it’s illegal to do that and everybody wanted to take their name off!!! It bothered me so much. I spent more then an hour in the bathroom trying to calm down. What can I do?

Hi Evies pack –

I might be a little confused, but I’ve never heard about any laws against raising funds or collecting signatures to help endangered animals.

One question though: Were you collecting these things for a particular organization, or just for yourselves to donate?  If the latter, you might want to try it again, with the Continue reading

0 How to lead peers

Andrei asks: I am a first year high school student, and the chief of my class. But I’m having trouble controlling my friends. On one hand, I don’t want to act bossy, but on the other, I don’t want to disappoint my teachers. What should I do??

Hi Andrei –

I see this same problem at the dog park all the time.  A dog will be running around, trying to get the other dogs there to calm down or behave, and they don’t pay any attention to it.  But when a human walks in and tells dogs to do something, they’ll listen right away.

Now if there weren’t any humans there, the dogs would do what we do in nature, which is to form a pack.  And then there would definitely be a leader.  Probably it would take some time to determine who the leader is, as the dogs who wanted to be leader would have to fight each other for it.  But eventually, one dog would be the one all the other dogs would follow, at least for a while.

But that doesn’t happen at the Continue reading