Category Archives for "Family"

2 What to do when your parents disapprove of your boyfriend, especially after he’s hit you.

Bunny Asks: I am sixteen. Last May I had a baby. Yes I know it was wrong and everything, but the father and I really love each other – we have now been together for nearly 3 years… So the problem comes in with my parents… I don’t know what to do about them. They forced me to do adoption 🙁 I wanted to keep him… and so did my boyfriend. We were ready to take responsibility for our actions. Then about 3 mouths after his birth my boyfriend and I had a big fight, and he left bruises on me. My parents never asked me if I was ok, they were just glad cause they thought he was out of my life. We broke up for 7 months, till he realized what he had done. He’s the type of guy that actually learns from his mistakes, he felt so bad about it. We really love each other and really take our relationship seriously, but my parents won’t let me see him, and I can’t take it any more! I have been so depressed lately I don’t even eat. I’ve tried asking them if I can see him, but they won’t budge!!!! Please help!! (and i don’t mind if you post this, I have nothing that I am ashamed of.)

Hi Bunny –

I’m so very very glad you wrote me. You are dealing with a gigantic number of issues here, and some of them are as big as you’ll ever deal with in your life, so it’s terribly important that you talk about all of them.

I’ll offer what I can, but the first thing I want you to do is to PROMISE me that you’ll find someone professional you can talk with about all these. No advice website (written by a dog or anyone else) can replace real talking with a real professional. I’m a big fan of therapists, but if there’s something you’d prefer (a religious leader, a teacher) that could be okay too. If you’re still in school, they probably have a counselor or someone who could help, or at least someone who could point you toward someone who can. If you don’t know anywhere else to look, let me know what city or town you live in, and I’ll do some research to see if I can help find someone for you.

But in the meantime, let me suggest a few things. Okay, first, you say, “it was wrong” to have a Continue reading

How to find friends your age online.

biros_littlemoon asks: I have a “HOTMAIL” account , but I don’t have many friends there. How can I make friends my age on Hotmail? I am 8 years old.

Hi biros_littlemoon –

Thanks for writing, and for joining my Pack!

I’m not sure I can help you much with your question, though. As I understand it, Hotmail is just a server on the Internet, kind of like a phone company. So it’s not really a way or place to make friends.

There are online groups where you can make friends, often with people with shared interests (like you just became a friend of mine!), but this is something you should definitely be very Continue reading

How to deal with a child not listening to you and throwing tantrums.

Jhonny asks: I have a seven year old boy. My problem is that he does not listen to me at all. Whenever he gets up after sleep, he cries a lot for no reason. I am really fed up. For every single thing he throws tantrums. Please help…

Hi Jhonny –

Thanks for writing me about your seven-year-old, and all the trouble you’re having. Being a parent is such incredibly hard work, at the best of times. And at the worst, it’s just about impossible!

So there are a lot of things I can suggest, but first, I should say something here. Now I’m about as great a dog as has ever lived. I’m kind and thoughtful and well-behaved and considerate and I just make Handsome’s life better all the time. But before this, I was… well, I was just Continue reading

How it feels when you move or change your home

Nasim asks: Have you ever wanted to change your home?

Hi Nasim –
Well, there are two ways I could read your question. Do you mean have I ever wanted to move into a different home, or have I ever wanted to do changes to the home I have now? Although the answer is kind of the same.
If it’s the first, then my first answer is YEAH!!! When I was a puppy, I spent about five days and nights living in a dog pound, and I wanted to get out of Continue reading

1 Fun things for kids to do on a bus trip

Bow Wow asks: This saturday me and my friends are going on a trip,in a bus…how can we have fun inside the bus?

Hi Bow Wow –

Well the easy answer is that the most fun thing you can do on a bus is
to bring a dog along! Or better yet, lots and lots of dogs! Just
imagine how fun a long bus trip could be if you had, I don’t know, 67
puppies running around! It’d be great! They’d be playing, licking
everyone, nipping at your ankles, tug-of-war-ing, all great for the
first ten minutes or so. Then they’d start… uh oh… throwing
up… and Continue reading

1 Why we get so hurt by those we love.

Duaa asks: “Why sometimes do we feel hurt by our dear ones and cannot smile? What to do then?”

Oh Duaa, I wish I had an easy answer for that!  The more we love someone, the more they can hurt us.  That’s part of what love is – when we open our hearts to someone, we let them in, with all their faults.  So if someone we love tends to say harsh things when they get angry, those mean words will hurt us more.  And if someone we love tends to pull away when Continue reading

What people should consider before buying a pet.

Schnapsie asks: My wife and I are thinking about getting a new pet for our home. How do we know when we have the right suitable pet? What criteria shall we use?

Hi Schnapsie –
Boy that’s a great question!  In a lot of ways we pets seem to pick out our people, but in the end, it is the person that makes the actual decision to purchase an animal, and that decision needs to be taken very very seriously.  Handsome always says that the single smartest thing he ever did in his life was getting me, and of course I agree all the way!  But people make the wrong decision all the time, and that can result in a lot of misery – for the person, and especially for the pet!
There are lots of good websites to give you specific advice about how to buy pets, such as the Humane Society (http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/puppy_mills/tips/buying_puppy.html) and (one of my favorites in general) About.com.

But there are some important questions to ask even before you think about where or how to buy one.  Here are some biggies:

  • 1) Do you, or anyone in your home, or any friends you have or want to have, have allergies?  Handsome, for example, has always been allergic to cats.  Now there are things he can do so he can spent time around them safely, but buying a cat isn’t something he’d normally choose to do!  Meanwhile, he has friends who can’t hang out in our house because they’re allergic to my fur.  But for them, there are non-allergenic dogs (a Portuguese Water Dog is one, which is why President Obama chose that breed when he bought Bo).  Other people have problems with bird feathers, or even rodent fur.  I’ve never heard of anyone being allergic to a fish, though, so I think you can get one of those no matter what!
  • 2) How much room do you have?  When Handsome decided to get a dog, he moved out of his nice apartment and found a tiny house, just so I could have a yard to run in.  If you live in an apartment, it’s okay to get a dog, but you’ll have to walk it a few times a day, and your neighbors might get really peeved when we bark, or even just walk around on hardwood floors with our toes click-click-clicking all day and night!  If you have a small place, that’s great for a cat or a small dog.  But are you one of those people who doesn’t like having an animal have full run of your home?  If so, maybe you’ll be better off with something that stays in a cage.  Mice, rats, birds, guinea pigs…   Hmm, my mouth’s watering and my pulse is getting fast!  That leads me to think of…
  • 3) Do you have any other pets?!  If you have a cat and you buy a bird, the odds are high that you’re creating a Tweety-and-Sylvester relationship in your home!  Similarly, if you have a dog, you might want to think before you buy a rabbit or kitten.  Tragedy might well ensue!!  On the other hand, if you have a dog and buy a fish or lizard, that shouldn’t be a big problem.  Or of course, if you have a bird and buy a ferret – no problem!   But be sure and think first – is one animal going to hate another?  Or worse, is one animal going to looooooove the other, especially as a snack?!
  • 4) Do you have time for the pet?  Animals are pretty easy to live with as a whole, but we do require work.  Dogs need to be walked, cats need clean litterboxes, fish need their water changed.  Handsome got a turtle once, thinking it would be easy to keep; eventually he found it took more work than I did, what with cleaning out its aquarium, changing water filters, and all.  So be sure you don’t get a pet who requires more work than you can spare.
  • 5) Can you afford to care for the pet?  Nothing is sadder than someone buying a puppy and building a beautiful loving relationship with it, and then having to give it away because they can’t afford to feed and care for it.  Most pets are pretty cheap to care for (except for medical bills, which I’ll come to later).  But not everyone can afford a pony, or even a python.  Whatever you get, it’s very important to be sure you can keep the pet for as long as you both shall live.  Does that phrase sound familiar?  It should:  Buying a pet is like getting married!  You two beings plan on staying together “till death do you part.”  So it needs to be taken that seriously!
  • 6) Should you get insurance?  Pet insurance is a pretty recent thing, and Handsome and I have had great luck with it.  True story: the day after my policy began, I broke my toe while jumping on the fence to talk to the neighbors.  Boy did that insurance help with the medical bills!  Of course, just like any other insurance, it’s possible that you might regret throwing cash away by buying it.  I mean, if your pet stays healthy till the day it suddenly keels over, you’ll have lost money on the deal.  But that’s why they call it “insurance;” it’s there to ensure that you can afford anything that comes along.  It’s certainly not a necessity, but if you don’t get insurance, you should plan with your family for anything that might happen.
  • 7) Okay, the biggest question of all to ask:  What do you really want?   Most people like all sorts of animals, but that doesn’t mean every pet is right for them.  Turtles sit and float and don’t do a lot more.  Gerbils run on wheels all night.  Malteses like to sit in laps.  Snakes eat live mice for dinner.  Labrador Retrievers like to swim.  Cats like to keep to themselves a lot and only show affection when they’re in certain moods.  Monkeys like to swing a lot, and tend to bite when they get older.  The best thing about having a pet is the joy of having nature in your home, but having that should make your home feel better, not like that scary movie where they chant “Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!”  So when you think you know what you’d like to get, do a lot of research.  Go to websites, go to the library, and find out everything you can about the kind of animal you’re thinking of getting.

After all, you wouldn’t marry someone without knowing all about them, would you?!  Yikes!!

Okay, Schnapsie, there’s my long long advice.  I hope you and your wife are able to make a decision that pleases you both.  And I also hope you’ve noticed just how nice and tolerant I’ve been here.  Because I’ve gone this whole way without saying…
SOME people are just GOOFY, and they go out and buy a CAT!  Who in the world would want one of those nasty stinky things in their home?!  Meowing, Yowling, oh they’re just….

Whew, okay, that’s out of my system.  The truth is everyone’s different, and that’s what makes the world a great place.  After all, some people don’t like big friendly knuckleheads like me!  Handsome likes to sing an old song to me, that really is what you and the right pet should sing to each other forever: “To each his own, I found my own, one and only YOU!

When people feel ignored in relationships

Sheba asks: Oh my, how do I get my male owner to behave? He keeps disobeying the female who feeds me!!! She is irritated because he plays video games and seems to be able to curl up in one place for hours at a time, just like us. Personally, I don’t understand why that’s an issue. But she’s weirdly into “social interaction,” I think.

Hi Sheba –

First, please check out my earlier post about kids and video games.  Though it sounds like you might be talking about an adult in this case!

You make a very good point, when you say that pets can curl up in one place for hours at a time, just like video-game players.  But the difference is, we’re not Continue reading

Advice for kids and teenagers on how to deal with having to clean their room.

Crooner62 asks: Why is it so hard to clean up my room when I know the mess will just get worse if I don’t?!

Crooner, I don’t know exactly how old you are, but I can tell you that things like this get easier when you get older.  When you’re a puppy, it’s just so hard to concentrate on something as BORRRING as cleaning!  I’ve written elsewhere on here how much I hate getting baths, but that’s not Continue reading