Category Archives for "Behavior"

0 How to deal with a bratty younger sibling

BlackGermanShepherd asks: My younger brother is 8 and he always hits me, and I get in trouble because of him. He always goes into my room and takes things and yells at me. I feel like I have no power over him. What should I do?

Hi BlackGermanShepherd –

Your problem sounds like something we dogs go through all the time.  Our humans’ friends decide it would be a great idea if they introduce their puppy to us, thinking we’ll be great pals – and the next thing you know, we’re being bitten, jumped on, and really annoyed for the whole time we’re supposed to play together.  Or worse, our humans actually decide to get a new puppy, and we’re putting up with this nonsense all the time!

And just as with you, the worst thing about this is that, when we get fed up and turn around and bite that little pest in the butt (which is completely a dog’s instinct, and how puppies have learned manners for millennia), who gets yelled at?  WE do!  It’s ridiculous!

Now I’m sure everyone’s been telling you that, over time, you and your brother will become great friends, and he’ll get very mature, and he’ll even become protective of you.  And I have no doubt that that’s true.  But that doesn’t help right now.  Now, what you need is a way to get through this.

For that, I have a few suggestions.  First, try to Continue reading

3 What to do when your parents won’t listen to you

Adri asks: If I ask my dad and grandma about how they treat my stepsister better than my sister and me, they will get mad and say, “Ooh shut up you are over-exaggerating,” and everything is going to explode. My grandma has been mad at me for some time, and my dad has always been treating us like we don’t matter — whenever it is night and he is saying good night he gives her a kiss and forgets about us — and I am fed up, but I am tired of it so I stop caring, and just Grrrr!

Hi Adri –

I do have a very high opinion of humans, and so I like to think that you’re somewhat mistaken, that your grandma, and especially your dad, would actually understand what you’re going through – as long as they were given the information in a way they could take.  Maybe they’re in too negative a place right now to hear it though.

So if so, what can you do?  Well, awful as it sounds, maybe your job is to just Continue reading

0 How to get a two-year-old to behave

adrianna90978 asks: I am sick and tired of being mistreated by everybody. My little brother who is only two and a half already hits us. My parents say it is our fault because we frustrate him, but we haven’t done anything to him! And there’s so much else going on too. How can I get over all this?

Hi adrianna90978 –

Okay, I have a simple answer for you on this one.  Your parents probably aren’t being completely right, but not exactly wrong either.  But you’re right – it’s not your fault.

Now if you had a five-month-old puppy, and it was biting you all the time, you’d certainly be right to be irritated.  And it might be right for someone to tell you not to do things to bother it.  But it would also be right for you to just know that it’s a puppy, and that this is what puppies do!

Similarly, two-year-old humans are notorious all over the Continue reading

0 How to deal with a guy who won’t leave you alone

Sakurastars asks: So this guy I met through a friend has been interested in me and I was interested in being in a relationship with him as well. I am new to dating so I guess he wasn’t sure where I stood in liking him or not. So he decided to show me what I was missing by going out with another girl. Me being new to dating, I didn’t mind he was going with this girl. And continued to treat him as a friend. He started to act very strange towards me and even flirt with me in front of this girl he’s supposedly with. One day he got upset about me hanging out with someone else and called me out on it. So, I got upset and asked him why does it matter who I hang out with? He tried to make it my fault and didn’t think he did anything wrong. A day after I asked him what he viewed me as and he told me a friend. After this question he asked me in a expecting way “so…. why did you ask me this?” And I told him he was making me feel uncomfortable. He again he tried to make it my fault and told me it was in my head. I wasn’t going to fall for that. A couple of days after that talk he messages me, “hey pretty lady.” That was the last time I talked to him because I’ve been ignoring him for 4 months now. My question is why is he taking so much effort to talk to me again and why does he keep bothering his friends about me? And how do you get him to simply stop messaging me altogether? I was going to be straight with him and say it’s really sad that you don’t get the hint after 3 months, but I’m not really that mean.

Hi Sakurastars –

Wow, what a story!  At first it sounded pretty sweet, like a lot of romantic comedies where both people are really into each other but neither wants to admit it, and eventually one ends up running away from their wedding or something, and love triumphs over all.

But it sure doesn’t continue that way.

I have to admit, I’m a little confused about the time-frame of your letter.  Did all the events you describe end four months ago, but he’s kept messaging you the whole time?  Or were the four months before he wrote “Hey pretty lady?”  I’m not sure it matters which is right, though.  Because I’m seeing two major issues here.

The first is what’s called a Continue reading

0 How to best react to failure

dumboo asks: What should be our reaction if we fail in achieving something?

Hi dumboo –

There are lots and lots of ways to react when one fails at something.  A few I see often are “Oh No!  I give up!  This is impossible!” and “I don’t believe this!” and “God hates me!” and “I suck!” and “Well I know not to try that again!”

Some others aren’t so verbal.  They might involve bursting into tears, banging one’s head against a wall, or kicking someone.

Another is to immediately try doing what Continue reading

1 How to handle a spoiled child

mouse asks: My cousin’s 9-year-old sister is too stubborn. She doesn’t even regret that she has failed so many papers, she doesn’t listen to her mom or dad, and she talks rudely. She believes that no one loves her, although her parents get her everything – she just seems to follow something in her mind. Please help!

Hi mouse –

I have to admit, I’m a bit confused about this girl!  First of all, what sort of papers is a nine-year-old assigned to write?  Second, why are her parents giving her ‘everything,’ when she doesn’t listen to them?  And third, does she believe that no one loves her because… no one does?  I’ll try to answer your question, but this is tough material.

It sounds to me like this girl has some real issues with her parents.  They’re giving her lots of stuff, but not giving her the boundaries she needs.  She sounds confused and unsure of what to do, and VERY unhappy about it.

You see, it’s a kid’s job to see what they can Continue reading

0 What to do if a teen hits a parent

achhu asks: My 13-year-old daughter is sharp-minded but very lazy in all her routines. She always obeys me but not her mother. Sometimes she also shows violence to her mother. She has a 7-year-old brother as well. Working father and housewife mother, happy middle class family. Whenever I advise her, she admits guilt and promises not to repeat. But after a short interval the problem starts again. What shall we do?

Hi achhu –

Any dog owner will tell you that the toughest time with a pet dog is the first year.  Puppies are rebellious, destructive, stubborn, needy, and have no real empathy for anyone else.  (That’s why we’re so incredibly cute at that age; if we weren’t, no one would put up with us!)

Humans go through something like that at age two, when they’re about as cute as puppies.  But then they go through a similar phase about 10-15 years later.  And it’s not nearly as adorable for the parents.  It’s called Adolescence, and most parents find it the most trying time they ever have with their kids (and get insanely nostalgic for those first couple of years, when the kids cried all day and screamed all night, but somehow seemed sweeter!).

That’s what you’re dealing with, achhu.  Your daughter is right on schedule.  And it’s completely normal for her to be especially mean to her Continue reading

0 What to do when someone who likes you shies away from you

curiouscutie asks: I’m in grade 10. I met this nice boy in grade 3, and we became good friends (and family friends too) but we never talked in school. Then when we had to leave our elementary school for high school he left to India, but soon came back (but we weren’t in the same classes anymore). Once in 7th grade he came to my class, with some friends, for something. There was a seat empty behind mine, so he sat there with his friends and started talking to me. He was just casually talking to me, but his friends and my friends started teasing us that we liked each other. Soon there were rumors in school that I liked him. Suddenly, he stopped talking to me. He wouldn’t say hi nor would reply to my hi. If he passed me he would ignore me as if I wasn’t there, as if I was invisible. When I joined Facebook I tried to add him but he blocked me. He was behaving very oddly. I thought he believed in the rumors. We have mutual friends in school, and when I hang out with them and see him, he says hi to them and talks to them but ignores me. I don’t know what’s happening. It’s annoying and making me angry. I don’t understand what my fault is – it’s been three years since we have had any interaction! What should I do?

Hi curiouscutie –

Well, as you know, I am an extremely intelligent and perceptive dog (well, intelligent in some ways!), but I am not psychic.  I can’t read minds, as much as I’d like to.  So I can’t guarantee that I know what’s going on in this boy’s mind.

However, I often am a very good guesser.  So I’ll throw my guess at you.

And that is that boys around seventh-grade tend to have a TON of things going on in them.  Relationships with friends and family are changing, their bodies are changing, the chemicals inside them are changing, and what they really want and need is often to run away and be by themselves in a deep dark wood for a few months, while at the same time to hang out with only their friends, and at the same time stay home with their families, and at the same time start dealing with their changing attitudes about girls…  and it’s just impossible!  So what they do is to Continue reading

0 How to treat friends who aren’t telling you everything

fourcats asks: I sent you a question about ignorance from friends, and I did what you told me, but they say there is no reason for their distance. I am scared that I will fall in trouble for a thing that I haven’t done. I saw those friends talking with our teacher about a problem, and I think that might be the reason for their behavior. How can I know whether this is my mistake or a misunderstanding about me? And how can I be friends with them again?

Hi four cats –

I am only a dog.  I have no way of knowing what your friends are thinking or feeling, or what anyone said to your teacher.

But here’s the funny thing.  At least for right now, neither do you.

Yep, that’s what I said.  You have no idea of what’s going on.  Maybe your friends are blaming you for something horrible that someone else did.  Or maybe not.  Maybe you’re in huge trouble with the teacher.  Or maybe not.  Maybe your friends have actively decided to ignore you because they are furious with you.

Or maybe not.

So here’s the weird thing about situations like this:  You can Continue reading

0 Can youngsters manage their anger?

AudreyKimberly146 asks: I am an eleven years old kid and I’m not an ordinary girl. I cook if I want, but I have a disease that makes my family the victim. This is strange, but seriously I can’t control my emotions! If somebody hurts me at school, I’ll be angry, but I usually still have a heart attached to my body, and just can be quiet (though if I get upset enough, it’s more like an earthquake!). I don’t wanna see any of my friends hurt because of me. But at home, I will hit a surface of a table and yell bad words to my siblings. So now I’m wondering if I can say something that will not hurt anybody. (I take this from a cartoon named “The Amazing World of Gumball”) So, I just have to say ” I have a stupid brain, in a stupid head, with a stupid mind, packed in a stupid personality if I get angry “. That way, I think I would be able to relieve myself every time I get angry. Now, what do I want to ask is, with this way, will everything be alright?

Hi AudreyKimberly146 –

I’m very very impressed with you, AudreyKimberly146.  What you’re doing is something called Anger Management.  There are psychologists all over the world who specialize in this, who run classes for teenagers and adults who are unable to control their rage.  Sometimes these are people like you who get upset for legitimate reasons, but lose control over their actions.  Sometimes, though, it can be worse – for example, a parent who loses their temper because their baby is crying, or because their puppy pooped indoors, things that no one has any Continue reading