Category Archives for "Adults"

How do you build trust for someone who’s done wrong things in their past?

princess23 asks: I saw that boy I like last week, and our mutual best friend told me that he said I looked really pretty, and she told me that every time he sees me he tells her the same thing. I used to see him like a crush, but now I think I’m really starting to like him. Sometimes I feel like I should tell him I’m starting to have feelings for him, but I’m scared that he’ll say he can’t be with me, cause he just got out of a relationship that was kinda complicated! I feel that I have to get over him and not show interest, but he can say all the right things at the right moment. I know that maybe he isn’t the guy for me (or maybe he is) but he has done things wrong in his past and I’m afraid he’ll do them to me. Is it normal to feel this way? I don’t know what to do, I’m super confused please help me!

Hi princess23 –

 

 

You’re right you’re super-confused.  You’re so confused you’ve got ME all confused now!

 

So if I have this straight, you like this boy and are getting to like him more; you know he’s at least very attracted to you, and willing to tell your friend about it; and the main reason you don’t want to approach him is that his last relationship was “kinda complicated” and he did some wrong things.

 

Is all that correct?

 

If so, what you’re really dealing with is two issues.  First, the usual shyness that comes with being attracted to someone.   For those, I have a bunch of posts on the AskShirelle website.  Just use the Search box and type in words like “shy, crush, like, love” and you’ll get a bunch.

 

But then we get to the “complicated” part.  Now when you say he did some wrong things, do you mean that he’s gotten in trouble at school, maybe got caught Continue reading

How to make a website popular

kittycat asks: Hi, I’m just an ordinary girl that randomly makes a website about her favorite animals in the world, CATS! I’m frustrated, because the only member is me, and I’m the site owner, so it’s really kind of dull. How can I make my website more popular among people not including family and friends, I already got that under control.

Hi kittycat –

 

 

Well of course the first key to making your site popular is that it has to have something on it that people like, so your first job is to get rid of those nasty stinky cats!  I mean, no one likes them, right?!

 

Oh, sorry.  You’re right.  I always forget about that.  Well, if some folks want to look at those irritating faces, and even find them cute, who am I to say they’re wrong?

 

(Well, I’m a DOG, that’s who!  But back to your question…)

 

When I started this website, it was really hard to get people to join, or even visit.  I wrote an email to all my friends, and all of Handsome’s, but only a few of them joined.  The big trick was that I didn’t Continue reading

How to get a conversation going

sazuna45 asks: There is this guy I like. He’s kind of a friend and he is super friendly whenever he’s alone and I’m alone. So I want to talk to him but I really don’t know how to start a conversation. Please advise me! I can’t just say ‘hi’ cause then he’ll answer and walk away. Something that’ll keep a conversation longer?

Hi sazuna45 –

 

 

Your problem is a really common one.  You want to get a conversation going, but nothing you say gets that effect.  It’s like when I’m at the dog park, and I try to get the boy dogs to chase me, and they’ll notice me and run after me, but just for a second, and then walk over to something else.  How irritating!

 

The main trick I know for conversation is something called “Open-Ended Continue reading

Who is Handsome?

sazuna45 asks: I’m new here so I don’t know much about you. Can you tell me who Handsome is?

Hi sazuna45 –

 

Handsome is just the most wonderful, sweet, guy in the world.  He’s also the most irritating, controlling, annoying person I’ve ever met.  You see, he’s my human.  Some people consider him my “owner,” but he’d be the first to tell you that he no more owns me than I own him.  We just take care of each other all the time.

Handsome is the man who rescued me from the dog pound, and who feeds me and pets me and makes sure I have a roof over my head.   So he’s the Continue reading

How to deal with test anxiety

eiei asks: I am sure to fail chemistry in 1st Semester. I studied well but I can’t answer well. And the teacher will scold me and students will tease me. I know I must try in 2nd semester very much and I can pass 1st year and attend 2nd year. But I can’t face this moment. Results will be out soon, I’m sure I’m the only female with this problem, and everyone will notice who failed. I can’t sleep and eat from thinking about it. I know it’s crazy, but I’m feeling like I wish I were dead!

Hi eiei –

 

 

I really have two answers for you.  But the second is only if you actually do fail the test.  Can you promise me that, if you’re right and you fail (or even do really poorly), you’ll write me and let me know?  That way I can send you a letter about what to do in that situation.

 

But I’m not going to send you that letter yet.  And the reason is simple – I want you to STOP THINKING ABOUT FAILING!  Is it possible that the teacher grades “on the curve,” and your ending grade will be a bit higher than your scores so far would imply?  Is it possible that you’ll get points for effort, or that there are quizzes and things you haven’t taken into account?  Is it possible that Continue reading

How to convince your boyfriend you’re not lying to him

Shannon asks: My boyfriend won’t believe me – he thinks I am lying to him. Instead, he believes his ex girlfriend, who used to be my friend, but we have broken up our friendship. What should I do?

Hi Shannon –

 

 

So, of course, I don’t know what your boyfriend thinks you’re lying about.  Maybe his ex is saying you’re being mean to him, saying things behind his back, or even running around with other boys.  But regardless, it really comes down to one thing – closeness.

 

You see, she used to be the closest one to him.  And back then, he cared a ton about everything she did.  If she stood too closely to another boy, then that might bother him.  If she called him a name, that might bother him.  If she didn’t return a call from him quickly enough, that might bother him.

 

And now she’s out of that position, and you’re in it.  And more importantly, if she lies to him, it doesn’t mean that much, but if YOU lie to him, it means Continue reading

Should you trust a former enemy who wants to be your friend?

kittycat asks: My school enemy suddenly became my friend again. Now she’s tight with me and my BFF! Should I discuss it with my BFF or think it out thoroughly before I take more desperate measures? Is it normal, or are my BFF and I the bait to her master plan?!

Hi kittycat –

 

 

Oh I wish I were a psychic, instead of just a dog!  I am absolutely no good at all at knowing what people are thinking, especially people who I’m only being told about.  Is this former enemy nefariously planning to hurt you and your BFF, or is she truly liking you now?  I am clueless!

 

And of course the truth is – so are you.  And that’s really the important point here.  You don’t know. So your job is to make a decision based on Who You Want to Continue reading

What to do about asthma?

shortiee asks: If I have an asthma attack, what should I do? And why did my asthma begin when I started to be a teenager?

 

Hi shortiee –

 

 

 

All mammals breathe, and depend on breathing throughout our lives.  We dogs count on it even more than you people, as we breathe to regulate our temperature, panting while you folks sweat!  So there’s hardly anything I can imagine that’s as scary as the idea of an asthma attack, and the sudden inability to fully breathe.

 

Now as I say a lot on here, I’m no doctor.  They don’t let dogs into medical school.  But here’s a good website that will tell you a lot about asthma and how to Continue reading

What to do when someone threatens suicide

pinkflower61 asks: There is a girl in my class who mostly stays alone and is very sensitive. Once I talked to her – she appeared to be sad and she started talking about how she hates her life and thinks of suicide. I don’t know what to do about her – or should I do nothing because it is something usual for teens?

Hi pinkflower61 –

 

 

You’re right that it’s very common for teenagers to think about hurting or even killing themselves, without ever doing it.  But it’s also way too common that teens do hurt themselves, or at least try to.

 

The fact that you talked with this girl just shows that you’re great.  So many kids ignore the quiet loners.  You may well be the best friend she has in the school, even though you barely know her.  So the single best thing you can do to help her through this time is… just chat with her again.  Just be a friend.  I don’t mean that you have to make her your total responsibility, but what if you had lunch with her one day?  What if you introduced her to your other friends?  What if you even invited her to go out with some other kids some night?  This could truly change her Continue reading

3 How can cancer affect the lives of teenagers?

wiggles asks: What are five ways that cancer affects a teenagers life?

Hi wiggles:

 

 

If you read much on my website, wiggles, you’ll see that I’m a pretty friendly dog.  I basically like everyone.  I don’t hate many things.  I don’t even hate cats as much as I imply (they just irritate me a lot and I want to chase them away!).  But one thing I just DESPISE is cancer!

 

I don’t like illness in any form, and I certainly hate the sadness and loss of death.  But cancer is such a cruel illness!  It’s so debilitating, and often so horribly painful.  And even the treatments we have for it, most obviously chemotherapy and radiation, are so painful and miserable…

 

Think of it this way: If you get a bad cold, your coughing and sneezing will actually clean out your Continue reading

1 86 87 88 89 90 117