Category Archives for "Adults"

0 How to decide between the nice boy who wants you and the bad boy who doesn’t

LilChen asks: I have this guy I like at school, but he’s 1 year younger than me (or I should say his grade is 1 year younger than mine because he went back a grade). Everything went well with me and him through our conversations, because my best friend made us talk together. But just as we were about to have a ‘bond,’ he suddenly told me not to talk to him anymore. So I was sad, but then I found out my best friend was mad at him because I might start hanging out with him and not with her. So I just agreed with her, since she’s my best friend and this happened like 2 or 3 years ago, although I still like the guy. I found out later on that he was a playboy and had my closest friends falling for him, but they soon realized he was worth nothing… but I’ve liked him for 5 years. Should I give up? He knows I have a crush on him. I’m 14 years old and I had this problem since 5 years ago?! I don’t know why I can’t let go of him! But there is this one ‘guy’ that can make me forget about him. Lets just say his name is X and my crush since five years ago is named L. So what do you think I should do? I’m confused and lost and I wonder if I should even have these feelings at this particular age!

Hi LilChen –

Your situation sounded really complicated to me at first, but then I thought about it a minute, and realized it wasn’t so complex at all.  What we’re really talking about here is Chicken Bones.

You see, whenever I’m around a Continue reading

0 How to play sports while self-conscious

Palooka asks: I am a 10-year-old boy. I love sports but my dad is the coach of my football team and I get really nervous when he’s not at the game but I get kinda nervous when he IS at the game. I’m okay during practice but when there is a game I feel kinda weird. What should I do? Thanks Shirelle. You are so wise.

Hi Palooka –

Oh what you’re describing is SOOOOO normal for humans!  You’re talking about something called Self-Consciousness.

Now we dogs do get self-conscious at times.  Like when you see pooches whose owners have dressed them in fancy sweaters and even booties, and those dogs see us other dogs (who are dressed more normally – wearing nothing more than collars) seeing them, and they’re mortified.  Sure, they had no choice in the matter, but they look so goofy, and they know it!

But most of the time, we pups really don’t feel that way at all.  We just live our lives, pursuing what we want and trying to stay out of trouble while we do it.  And it’s all fine.  But not humans.

Humans tend to be Self-Conscious, to some degree or another, all the time!  They go to school, feeling like everyone’s looking at them and judging the way they’re dressed or how their hair is that day (not realizing that everyone else is worrying about the same thing about themselves!); they create art and literature and poetry and songs that express their feelings and thoughts, hoping others will Continue reading

0 How to deal with a guy who won’t leave you alone

Sakurastars asks: So this guy I met through a friend has been interested in me and I was interested in being in a relationship with him as well. I am new to dating so I guess he wasn’t sure where I stood in liking him or not. So he decided to show me what I was missing by going out with another girl. Me being new to dating, I didn’t mind he was going with this girl. And continued to treat him as a friend. He started to act very strange towards me and even flirt with me in front of this girl he’s supposedly with. One day he got upset about me hanging out with someone else and called me out on it. So, I got upset and asked him why does it matter who I hang out with? He tried to make it my fault and didn’t think he did anything wrong. A day after I asked him what he viewed me as and he told me a friend. After this question he asked me in a expecting way “so…. why did you ask me this?” And I told him he was making me feel uncomfortable. He again he tried to make it my fault and told me it was in my head. I wasn’t going to fall for that. A couple of days after that talk he messages me, “hey pretty lady.” That was the last time I talked to him because I’ve been ignoring him for 4 months now. My question is why is he taking so much effort to talk to me again and why does he keep bothering his friends about me? And how do you get him to simply stop messaging me altogether? I was going to be straight with him and say it’s really sad that you don’t get the hint after 3 months, but I’m not really that mean.

Hi Sakurastars –

Wow, what a story!  At first it sounded pretty sweet, like a lot of romantic comedies where both people are really into each other but neither wants to admit it, and eventually one ends up running away from their wedding or something, and love triumphs over all.

But it sure doesn’t continue that way.

I have to admit, I’m a little confused about the time-frame of your letter.  Did all the events you describe end four months ago, but he’s kept messaging you the whole time?  Or were the four months before he wrote “Hey pretty lady?”  I’m not sure it matters which is right, though.  Because I’m seeing two major issues here.

The first is what’s called a Continue reading

0 How does Shirelle type?

aana asks: Weirdddd….. How can a dog type? What do you use?

Ah aana, you’re very right.  I’ve tried to get a very large typewriter that I could use with a “hunt and peck” method, where I’d put my paw down on each letter, but I certainly can’t use a normal one.

I use a special technology that enables my words to be typed out without my using my paws.  There are lots of these technologies out there these days, for the use of people who have certain disabilities, that allow them to express themselves if they don’t have the use of their hands or voices.  Well, what I use is kind of like that – though I don’t know any other dogs who are also use them.

I am a very lucky pooch!

Cheers,

Shirelle

0 How to treat someone you like who gives mixed signals

Mandhie Asks: There’s a boy at school I like and I know he likes me (and lots of other people can see it too), but he still won’t say it to me, and keeps dating other girls. My feelings toward him are sort of fading away – I can’t waste my precious teenage years loving someone who isn’t ready. But I am still hurt or jealous when I see him with a girl. I feel like giving up but I don’t want to yet. What should I do? Follow my heart or do what is right?

Hi Mandhie –

I think the solution is in your question, but I think your question is wrong!  You ask whether you should do what’s right or follow your heart.  But I’m not sure you know what either of those would dictate.  “What’s right” might be to be careful, to not get involved with a boy who’s going out with lots of girls, to wait for him to come to you, or to go right up to him and tell him you want him to forget those other girls and be your boyfriend.  Your heart might tell you to run away and never look at him again, to throw yourself at him, to send him secret anonymous love notes… or all of those at the same time!

I would argue, in a situation like this, that you shouldn’t do anything that you don’t believe is right, and that you should follow your heart.  In other words, the answer to your question would be “Do both, or Continue reading

0 What is Capitalist Democracy?

Sabbo asks: Define capitalist democracy

Hi Sabbo –

Wow, you’re asking a dog to define capitalist democracy?  You’re a trusting soul!

Well, Democracy is a form of government, mainly from ancient Greece, based on the idea that the people are in charge.  Members of the group (such as citizens of a country, or members of a club) vote to determine such things as who the leaders are, what laws are enacted, or any other major Continue reading

0 How to best react to failure

dumboo asks: What should be our reaction if we fail in achieving something?

Hi dumboo –

There are lots and lots of ways to react when one fails at something.  A few I see often are “Oh No!  I give up!  This is impossible!” and “I don’t believe this!” and “God hates me!” and “I suck!” and “Well I know not to try that again!”

Some others aren’t so verbal.  They might involve bursting into tears, banging one’s head against a wall, or kicking someone.

Another is to immediately try doing what Continue reading

1 Should people stay friends after breaking up

sazuna45 asks: When people date and they break up, they stop talking and they get awkward and they ignore and sometimes even hate, each other. I find that very sad. When best friends start dating and they break up, they stop being friends, they cant even look each other the same way after all that. Don’t you find that sad? Do you think its normal for people to act that way? But most importantly, is it okay if past lovers stay friends? Do you think they can remain friends?

Hi sazuna45 –

Your timing is perfect.

You see, Handsome’s had a lot of girlfriends over the years.  I always like them at first, but some weren’t so crazy about me, so I learned to stay away from them (and eventually, so did Handsome!).  But of course, at least at the beginning, he was nuts about all of them.

Now most of the time, when they broke up, it was the way you describe.  Not necessarily that he hated her or she hated him, but they learned that they were happier keeping some distance from each other.

I guess I both understand and don’t Continue reading

0 How to publish a magazine

kavin24 asks: Some schoolmates and I are in an international school project called World Link Society. The topic they have given to our school is natural disasters. So this year we are planning to publish a magazine and a CD. But for now it’s just an idea. Can you give us some tips on it? The CD is ok, but we really need to know all about the magazine. Can you send some suggestions as soon as possible? If you can do it right now, you’ll be the most intelligent dog in the world!

Hi kavin24 –
Thanks for your question about the magazine.  I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get to it the day you sent it to me – especially since I guess that makes another dog more intelligent than me (Darn that Lassie!).

The big deal with the magazine idea is whether you intend for it to be one issue or an ongoing magazine.  One issue is WAY Continue reading

0 How to control jealousy

prettyndsweet12 asks: Do you have any tips on controlling jealousy?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions we have.  Note the word “we.”  We dogs can be very jealous – as any pooch who Handsome’s ever found adorable and cuddly has learned!  “RRROOOWFF!  I’ll teach you to let him scratch your belly!!”

All cultures have stories of jealousy.  In The Bible, the first kids ever born have enough jealousy between them that one kills the other!  That’s some nasty stuff!

I really like your question, because you didn’t ask how to get rid of jealousy (which is impossible), but how to control it.  And that’s something anyone can do.

The trick is to realize that jealousy actually comes from a Continue reading