Category Archives for "School"

0 What makes a motivated student lazy?

Achu asks: I am too lazy in studies. Though my exams are approaching, I’m always sleeping – but I dream of getting rid of my easygoing nature and finding success in life. What should I do?

Hi Achu –

There’s a big word for the situation you’re in, and that’s “Incongruent.”  If you’ve studied geometry, you might know that word – Congruent triangles have all the same angles as each other, for example.  But in psychology (Handsome knows and tells me all this stuff – all I’m an expert in is squirrel hunting and making people happy!), Congruence means that each part of your mind works well with the other parts.  Someone who really wants to be a perfectly behaved child but is scratching bad words into the furniture is not Congruent!  Someone who hates everyone and behaves rudely might be a rotten person, but he is Congruent!

So you, who have great trouble motivating yourself to study, but dream of being a hardworking success, are… not a bad person at all, but Incongruent.  Our job here is to get the two sides to work together.

I often find that, especially when it comes to schoolwork, this problem can come because the person aims too Continue reading

0 What to do when friends are jealous of your success

Serena asks: In school my friends always try to avoid me because I’m better than them in studies and everything. What should I do?

Hi Serena –

Before I answer your question, I want to ask you one:  Are you sure that that’s why your friends are behaving this way?  If so, they’re being extremely petty.  So you might want to see if there’s a way to find out if something else could be going on – if they’re avoiding you for something you didn’t even realize you’d said, or because they’ve decided you’re not wearing the cool brand of shoes or something!

But if you’re right – this is ridiculous!  Your friends are acting out of meanness and jealousy.  And my advice to you is simple:  Keep doing what you’re doing in your classes, and find better Continue reading

0 Should you devote yourself 100% to your dream career, or prepare alternatives?

purdeydawg1398 asks: I am choosing my options for my GCSE’s and I am 100% set on what I will be doing for my career, but I am worried that if something happens and I can’t do the job I want to do then I might regret it later. What should I do?

Hi purdeydawg1398 –

Wow, I’m very impressed with you!  Most secondary school students don’t have as clear a sense of what they want for their career, and hope to find that out in college or university.  So you’re already ahead of the game – well-done!

You’re also asking a very mature question, in terms of what will happen to you if you don’t get to do the career you most want.  I totally understand what you mean when you say that you fear you’ll “regret it later,” but I think, for now, you need to choose between two paths.

The first path involves total Continue reading

0 Should a teenager follow their passion or their parents’ wishes for a career?

M.Sam asks: My father wants me to choose a medical career due to my good grades, but I feel that my career should be fashion designing. He won’t let me do so, as I have no proper plan, yet I believe that I will be happy and successful as a designer. Who is right, him or me? Should I talk to him?

Hi M.Sam –

The question you’re dealing with has plagued teenagers for centuries.  Of course, there was once a time when teens were completely expected to follow in their parents’ careers – a farmer’s son and daughter were both expected to spend their lives on farms.  But today humans live in a world full of choices, which make such decisions more difficult.

You, in particular, are facing a very common and special problem.  Your father wants you to have a stable, successful, lucrative career.  While you have an artistic passion, and want to pursue that.  Of course, some fashion designers make great livings, but many don’t at all.  So your father truly means the best for you – he wants you to live a comfortable life with a guaranteed income.  But it sounds like you want something else.

So there are a couple of ways to go about this.  One is to do Continue reading

0 How to speak up in the classroom

shae asks: How can I be noticed in class, and how can I stop being quiet in class?

Hi shae –

This is really interesting.  See, grownups have been trying to get kids to SHUT UP in class for thousands of years!  I’ve never heard the other side of the issue before!

But I’m guessing that you’re not asking about how to talk with other kids, act silly, giggle, and make the teacher furious.  I’m thinking you want to be more a part of class, less shy, and more assertive.

The important question we need to look at, in order to help this along, is Why you’ve had trouble with this.  After all, I imagine every teacher you’ve ever had has encouraged their students to be involved in class.  So what’s gotten in your Continue reading

0 Why teachers act so bossy

lil girl asks: Why do teachers act so bossy?

Hi lil girl –

Why?  Because they’re the boss!

Okay, that’s too simple an answer.  But of course, they are the boss, in the classroom at least.  But we all know that some teachers are able to be the boss while speaking calmly, and being friendly and nurturing to their students; while others are cold and yell a lot, and spend all their time proving that their the boss.  Those are the bossy ones!

Well, funny as it may sound, the answer is probably that the calm ones are very confident that they’re the boss, while the bossy ones aren’t!  They feel they need to prove their toughness much Continue reading

1 How to get a shy boy to talk to you

Kritika asks: Thanks for your earlier answer, but you didn’t have the situation clear. Here it is: A boy came in my class to talk a guy, and all my friends were saying his name loudly, teasing me; he heard it all and he just stood there blushing, looking at me and smiling. Then again during my sports week he came to my friends’ group where I was sitting talking, and ignoring him, but I checked him many times starring at me. I told my friends that I should say “hi” at least to him, but they said “no don’t, or you will look like a wannabe or too easy!” I think he’s expecting me to go say hi or even to ask him out. What should I do?

Hi kritika –

Oh, this is all very good news!  I mean, I was thinking that he didn’t care about you much, but clearly, he likes you!

I understand your friends wanting you to “play hard to get,” but it sounds like he really doesn’t have the social knowledge of how to approach you (and your classmates aren’t making it any easier on the poor guy!).

The best thing I can think of is if you and he have any mutual friends, maybe you could talk to one of them, and explain that you like this guy but that he has to ‘be the boy’ and approach you!  Standing around grinning just won’t accomplish a Continue reading

0 What to do when your grades suddenly fall

ZeeTan99 asks: I am an A-grade student (13 yrs old) but the problem is that I’m pretty sure I’ll get a D or something in TWO SUBJECTS! Tomorrow I’m gonna get my report card, and I don’t know how I’m going to show it to my parents. I’m having nightmares about this, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s got me really stressed you can’t imagine. So please please, tell me what to do. I’m very very confused and I could really use someone’s help.

Hi ZeeTan99 –

Oh I know that feeling!  It’s like when I was being perfectly good and quiet and watching out the window, and a cat suddenly appeared just outside, and I jumped up yelling and broke a pane of glass!  And I hadn’t meant to do it, but I knew Handsome was going to walk into the room and be very unhappy about it!  You’re in exactly the position I was in as I heard his footsteps approach the doorway!

But do you know what happened when he got to me?  Sure, he was shocked at what had happened.  But then he checked my nose and my paws, to make sure there wasn’t any glass in them, and then he put me out back, so I wouldn’t step on anything sharp, and then he cleaned all the glass up very carefully.  Because he was way more worried about me than he was upset about the broken glass.

Now sure, when he paid the glazier who repaired the pane, he did give me an exasperated look and mutter “You knucklehead!”  But overall, he reacted to my mistake with love and concern, not anger.

Now, there’s a good chance that, if you’re right about your grades, your parents will first react with Continue reading

0 When and how to change schools

prettyndsweet12 asks: I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe if so many people at my school are continuing to be rude and mean to me, to the point where I can’t even get an education, then maybe I should just leave that school. How can I send the message to my mom that I am not happy where I am, and that I really want to leave? I’ve done this before, but, as you can see, I am still stuck in the same sticky situation, and I want out!

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Oh I’m so sorry this situation hasn’t gotten any better!  Have you tried the things I suggested before?

If so, then I’m really of two opinions here (and that’s very difficult for a dog – our brains aren’t as big as yours, you know!).  On one hand, I will gladly give you some suggestions on how to talk to your mom about switching schools.  But on the other, I don’t know if it’s really worth the Continue reading

0 How to handle anxiety at University

Eiei asks: I feel sad now, because my friends do not listen to what I say or look at me. Stress falls on me at University, because my mind runs away from me and I can’t understand what the teachers explain. Please help me. How will I train my mind to be constant?

Hi Eiei –

It sounds to me like you’re suffering from really bad anxiety.  That’s what it’s called when you worry so much that it gets in the way of everything, from your friendships to your work.

Anxiety is likely to come up at a University about as frequently as it does in Veterinarians’ offices, and for much the same reason – you students and we dogs are both put in a place “for our own good” where we’re being judged and tested, which doesn’t feel good at the time, and can lead to some really awful Continue reading