Category Archives for "Scary Stuff"

1 How teens can protect themselves in cyberspace

Chrissy M asks: How can a teenager protect himself/herself in cyberspace?

Hi Chrissy M –

This is a great question.  Online safety is such a huge issue today, and there are a number of differences between what parents can do for their children and what teenagers can do for themselves.  The biggest difference, of course, is that as a teenager, you need to make more decisions.  While a supervising parent can keep a child from going to certain sites or chatting with certain people or posting certain information – as a teenager you need to make those decisions yourself.  And that’s often very difficult (especially with peer pressure coming at you from every Continue reading

1 How to reduce stage fright

Sarah asks: In two weeks I am going to perform (rap) on stage and I am extremely nervous. What can I do to help me reduce that fear?

Hi Sarah –

The first – and most important – thing for you to know about this is that Stage Fright is the most common greatest fear in the human race.  Let me clarify what I mean: when people are asked in surveys “What is your greatest fear,” and there are answers like illness, death, and losing all your money, they answer “Public Speaking” more often than anything else!

We dogs don’t have as big a problem with this, because we don’t have self-awareness and self-consciousness in the way humans do (simply because our brains are smaller!).  But I sure see humans freaking out about it a lot, so I can offer you a few suggestions to help you with it (try them out and see which ones work for you, and don’t worry about the Continue reading

0 How to help a child who’s afraid of many things

fly asks: My 11-year-old son has always gotten very anxious for, for example, going to school first day, taking exams, or participating in tournaments – he really gets scared, and sometimes he gets sick. How can I help him?

Hi fly –

I’m so sorry for you and your son – living in such fear (or watching your child in it) is clearly a miserable experience.  Now, it’s very normal for a child to be frightened of any of the things you mention – the first day of school, exams, or tournaments – but it sounds like his fear is Continue reading

1 How to move on from bad memories

Mention asks: How can I forget my bad memories from when I was hurt in the past?

Hi Mention –

That’s a great question.  People always tell us to move on past the bad things in our pasts, and live life in the present.  But how can we do that when those bad memories just won’t let us go?!

Well, here’s the deal – those memories are there for a very good reason.  They’re there to protect you from making mistakes again.  Now if the memory is that your hand really hurt the last time you put it onto a hot stove, that’s great and will truly serve you forever.  But let’s say the memory is something more like “I went on a date with a girl and she treated me horribly.”  Well, your mind might tell you that going on a date again would be as dumb an idea as putting your hand back onto that stove.

The trick with memories like this, ones that argue things that aren’t completely true, is to have a Continue reading

0 How to handle anxiety at University

Eiei asks: I feel sad now, because my friends do not listen to what I say or look at me. Stress falls on me at University, because my mind runs away from me and I can’t understand what the teachers explain. Please help me. How will I train my mind to be constant?

Hi Eiei –

It sounds to me like you’re suffering from really bad anxiety.  That’s what it’s called when you worry so much that it gets in the way of everything, from your friendships to your work.

Anxiety is likely to come up at a University about as frequently as it does in Veterinarians’ offices, and for much the same reason – you students and we dogs are both put in a place “for our own good” where we’re being judged and tested, which doesn’t feel good at the time, and can lead to some really awful Continue reading

0 What is the soul, and what happens to it after this life?

Desennium asks: Do you think that the “soul” belongs to a person? Also, what is the rainbow bridge?

Hi Desennium –

Thanks for your question about the soul, and the rainbow bridge.  Of course, they’re very closely related subjects.

The Soul is something very difficult to define.  I looked up the word, and the Merriam-Webster dictionary gave me a number of definitions.  I’ll comment on each of the ones I use.

– the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life

This is probably what you meant in your question.  And of course, one’s answer really depends on one’s beliefs – whether religious or spiritual or not.  As my readers know, I don’t work from any specific religion (I am a Continue reading

0 How can I stop my friend from cutting herself

Bielieber27 asks: Hello. I was over at my friend’s house the other day, and I found out that she cuts herself. I’m really scared – I don’t know what to do. She told me it was addicting and she wishes she could stop. I want help her but I don’t know how to. What should I do? Please Help!

Hi Bielieber27 –

You are absolutely right, and so is she.  Cutting is terrifying, and very addictive.  You’re a great friend for reaching out like this.  I hope your doing this encourages others to do the same.

For those who don’t know what we’re talking about here, some people – most often teenagers – find that they get a pleasurable sensation from cutting their skin.  Usually it happens because they are depressed and feel numb in their lives, so there’s a good feeling from the pain of the cuts.  If you think of how good it feels to scratch an itch – where you’re actually causing yourself more pain in a sense, but it gives you pleasure – that’s what this is like, magnified.

Of course, the difference between this and scratching an itch is that cutting is extremely dangerous.  Even potentially Continue reading

0 How to handle excess worry, even if it’s about real things

everyday96 asks: I feel like nothing I do makes sense. I can’t remember the last time I actually smiled or laughed from my heart. You see, my parents are both a little overaged (56 and 57 years old), but more importantly they both have diseases from which they can drop dead at any moment. I try to help out best I can, but I’m just a kid, and even if I do help, I always feel like I’m doing something wrong. I’m not only worried about them, but now I’m also worried about myself. I haven’t been able to sleep lately because I’m afraid that if I do I might wake up an orphan. Sometimes I think they would have been better off if I wasn’t born at all. They do everything for me, but I don’t know if I can give it back. Please help me – I don’t know what I have to do to make them feel better. If I can see them smile again I’d be the happiest boy in the world.

Hi everyday96 –

There’s a word for what you’re suffering, and it’s called Anxiety.  Anxiety is what you have when you worry all the time, and worry too much.  Now note, no one is saying that you’re worrying about ridiculous things (like, say, worrying that bears will turn into bunnyrabbits).  But it is when you worry so much about even sensible things that the worry becomes a bigger problem than the problems you’re worrying about!

Now I don’t know what diseases your parents have, but I can say that 56 and 57 aren’t all that Continue reading

0 What to do when your father hits your sibling

Shae asks: What can a kid do when their father hits their sibling?

Hi Shae –

Thanks for your question about your father hitting your sibling.

Now I don’t know two very important things.  First, I don’t know where you live (and what the laws are there), and Second, I don’t know exactly how your father is doing this hitting.

I do know that, where I live, it is actually illegal for parents to hit their children unless it’s minor (the thing to remember is the three O’s – Open-Handed, Over the clothes, and On the Continue reading

0 How to deal with terrible times

KayceeSimone asks: This year has been extremely hard for me. On the 22nd of Feb this year there was a major earthquake, which made me stress and stop eating. Following that, in July, my dad’s father passed away followed by his mother on October 31st. I am really struggling to come to terms with all this and it is affecting my health mentally, emotionally and physically, and also my schooling. Just recently, my mum split up with my step-dad. I have never had a stable home, and I’m getting close to every guy she’s with then she just takes that away from me. Just recently I have been bullied at school and got punched in the face. I’m at my wits end and I’m afraid I’m going to do something stupid! PLEASE HELP ME! I’M DESPERATE :,(

Hi KayceeSimone –

Sometimes life is nice.  Sometimes it’s absolutely grand.  Sometimes it’s grey and depressing.  And then sometimes it’s absolutely horrible.  And you’re living in that category right now.  I’m so sorry.  I wish I could just run over to your house and jump up on your bed and lick your face till all your tears were gone and you were Continue reading