Category Archives for "Scary Stuff"

0 How to keep someone who’s been hurt from enacting vengeance

Graciano_Durai asks: I have a friend from school. He’s from three Middle Eastern Countries and one Central African Country. He’s from Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and his farther grandmother comes from the Democratic Republic of Congo. He wishes he could go back to the Middle East. Even with all the terror, He still prefers The Islamic Republic of Iran, Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, Republic of Iraq, and the Democratic Republic of Congo. He hates one thing the most out of all things: America. He’s hated America ever since he was five, after an American bomber plane killed a friend of his and his whole family, along with his dog. Ever since then, I’m afraid he’s just going to just blow up; because he’s a ticking time bomb, he is waiting for the perfect moment to release his anger and hatred. What exactly can I do to keep him from both bottling his anger and not to release his anger all at once?

Hi Graciano_Durai –

I would love to start my answer by saying that we dogs never act out of vengeance, that we’re above that sort of thing. But the truth is, we’re not. One day Handsome and I were visiting his brother’s home, and I saw his parents’ dog Buster, through a window, eating my food out of my bowl. Over twelve hours later, I was able to meet up with Buster, and dove onto her to beat her up and let her know that was unacceptable behavior! I didn’t want to injure her at all, or certainly to kill her. I just wanted to show her who was boss. But it means I can relate to your friend, if only a little.

I can’t blame your friend one bit for his anger or his hurt. War simply stinks, even if it’s got some moral justification (such as if someone’s fighting to protect themselves or their home), and too often it doesn’t even have that. I live in the United States, and I like a lot of the values our country has, but Continue reading

0 What to do about Depression

sadgirl28 asks: I have been suffering from depression for months now. I have seen a psychiatrist and he prescribed some anti-depressant meds. Remeron, to be specific. But I stopped taking it because I don’t think it is helping me. I think the only thing thing it did was to make me gain a lot of weight, which added to my depression. Right now, I cannot find any refuge with anybody. I am so depressed that I am thinking of taking my own life, only I am afraid to take that thought in action. I really need some help. By the way, I am a nurse and I suffered from substance abuse; I was working in ICU before as a head nurse, and was caught but the hospital administration did not terminate me but transferred me to another department where I don’t deal with patients. I am thankful but not happy about it. I guess there’s really some problem with me. I hope you can help me.

Hi sadgirl28 –

It sounds like you’ve got a case of real, serious, clinical Depression (which is very different from the ‘feeling down’ we all go through at times, or the depressions people fall into when they lose something or someone they love).  There are lots of suggestions I can recommend for this, but two are way way WAY above the rest.

The first is that you should go back to your psychiatrist (or another one), and explain that the prescription you had before didn’t do the job.  You see, there are certain medicines that work for everyone.  For example, if I get a case of worms, there are pills the vet can give me that will get them out of me, just like any other dog.  But psychiatric medicines don’t work that way.  Everyone’s brain is slightly different, so medication that eases Depression for one person might not do the same for another.  Because of that, while that psychiatrist took an educated guess that a particular dosage would work for your Depression, the fact that it didn’t just means that they should try something else; its lack of working well doesn’t mean the doctor doesn’t know what they’re doing, and it definitely doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try some other medication to help.  There are lots of antidepressants out there.  With a few tries, there’s a really good chance you’ll get something that helps out a lot (and hopefully doesn’t cause the weight gain again).

The second major thing I most recommend to you is a Continue reading

0 How should one deal with the death of a parent?

mags asks: My mom died of cancer 3 months ago. I’m 16. Is it normal for me to only get sad when I am alone? What can I do when I get sad? This happens almost every weekend since she died.

Hi mags –

mags, I absolutely worship humans.  I think you’re the most amazing creatures ever.  I envy your brilliance, your imaginations, your inventiveness, and your opposable thumbs!

But one area where we dogs are lots better than you people is in accepting our emotions.  When we’re happy, we’re happy, and no one can take that away by shaming us into thinking there’s something wrong with that.  When we’re angry, we’re fierce, and while leashes and orders can hold our actions back, nothing and no one can take away our anger.

And when we’re sad, we’re just plain sad.  We mope, we whine, we howl.  We feel it fully, and it fills every molecule of our bodies, and every bit of our souls.  And I can think of nothing, NOTHING, that should make a person sadder than to lose their mother at such a young age.  I am so very sorry, mags.  It’s not fair at all.  It’s as sad as anything in the world.

You ask if it’s normal to only get sad when you’re alone.  That could mean two different things: are you saying that the sadness only comes when you’re alone, and not at other times, or that sadness is the only emotion you ever feel these days when you’re alone?

My answer, though, would be Continue reading

0 How to deal with new fears after losing a parent

Salvatore asks: When you answered my last question, you asked what might have caused my depression. Its actual cause is my dad’s death. He died suddenly two and a half months ago. Since his death, I’ve been worrying about my future education. I still have my mother, elder brothers, and sister, but they can’t take away this feeling. I am studying pre-medicine. I remain worried all the time about who will support me financially till I become a doctor. I’m also worrying all the time about losing my mother too, as I lost my father. Please tell me what to do!

Hi Salvatore –

I am so horribly sorry about your devastating loss.  All animals expect to outlive their parents, but humans are supposed to last till we’re much much older.  It’s not fair that it happened to you, and I’m not going to try to make it feel better, because I just can’t.

I’m glad you told me what the reason for your feelings is.  Because there’s a difference between the usual Depression and what you’re experiencing, although they have the same symptoms.  You are going through what’s called Bereavement.  There’s no cure for it but time.  You’ve lost someone very close to you, who you loved dearly, and it came completely out of the blue.

In comparison, I know a man whose dog died of Continue reading

1 How to deal with parents who are addicts

kaylanicole asks: My best friend, who is my stepmom’s niece (so technically my cousin now), and I have been close for years. She’s just spent nine days with her sister, who hates me. Now one minute she’s telling me to “**** off,” and the next saying “I love you.” She has a lot going on too, because her parents are constantly doing drugs and she’s had a rough life, but I always try to be here for her. We have been arguing on and off and it really hurts. I don’t want to lose her or stop talking to her, because I’m already stressed enough (My mom is on pills and heroin real bad and I’m scared she will die soon because she won’t get any help, and my grandma who raised me is in bad health, and my papaw who also raised me passed a year ago). I recently moved out of my grandma’s house because of stress/depression, but now I have it just as bad here. I always feel bad because my grandma tries to get me to move back in and tells me how she needs help and stuff. My nana has Crohn’s disease and is really skinny and in terrible shape. I told my best friend that I have a lot going on. She is one of the people that means the most to me and I just don’t know what to do. She will bring up her sister’s BF’s sister to make me jealous, and she changed her cover photo on Facebook to them, which used to be us most the time. I feel so alone and replaced, and most nights I lay in bed and cry until I’m tired. The depression/stress is taking over.

Hi kaylanicole –

This is one of the most heartbreaking letters I’ve ever received.  I get mail all the time that tells of pain, heartbreak, or frustration, and I’m usually able to keep my tail wagging and come up with cheerful fun ways to help those people out.  But after reading your letter, I had to go outside and give a big mournful yowl.

It’s not that your situation is impossible.  It’s just that it’s so sad.  Both you and your best friend are suffering with parents who are drug addicts.  And that is one of the toughest situations any kid can live in.

Now before any readers jump in to say, “Hey, I saw my dad Continue reading

0 What to do if you’re sent to a scary school

amason7 asks: I failed 2 subjects at school, and my parents say that they are going to change me to a very bad school. I fear for my future. What do I do?

Hi amason7 –

I’m not sure what you’re fearing – if it’s the effect of failing the classes or the bad school.  Or both.

If it’s about the classes, the odds are you’re worrying more than is deserved.  People fail classes and exams all the time, and manage to move on to great lives and careers.  There may be lessons to learn from the failures, and if so I’m all for that.  But in terms of the immediate effects of the exams, you might have to retake those classes, or not get into some schools you want, but in the long term I think it’ll be fine.  Hey I had to get trained in staying so many times – each time I’d think I’d nailed it, I’d screw up and have to go Continue reading

0 How to treat PTSD?

sazuna45 asks: My cousin is almost sixteen, and she’s had PTSD since she was thirteen. Now there are many reasons behind PTSD, but everything has been cut out, except for sexual abuse. She says there’s a high chance she’s been sexually abused (not raped, luckily). She says she doesn’t remember the full incident, just bits. She’s generally happy now, not knowing and moving on and all. But there are still hard times and her PTSD is getting worse. There’s no way to cure PTSD, as everyone says but it can get better. Right? Can you please suggest something that’ll make her PTSD get better?

Hi sazuna45 –

PTSD is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days.  People tend to think of it as a bad reaction to something bad that happened to them.  Actually, it’s pretty specific, and pretty awful.  The letters stand for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It is a psychological condition brought on by something so traumatic as to be either life-threatening, or – and this is important – “a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.”  So while lots of us can suffer the effects of something scaring us (“Paranormal Activity” anyone?!  Or that night I had a nightmare that I was attacked by a gang of Siamese Continue reading

0 Do the fears of a 15-year-old go away?

Linda asks: Sometimes I still have that alienated feeling I wrote you about before. I used to be a confident and a peaceful person. I could stay alone, go anywhere alone if I want. But now it’s become the opposite. Just sometimes I’m afraid of ghosts, but still it’s fine. I don’t understand why it happens to me. I can’t see others who are my same age having that problem. May I ask, how long do I need to get rid of it?

Hi Linda –

Thanks for explaining your situation to me with more clarity.

In terms of the usual anxiety and depression about life that 15-year-olds have, I would say you can expect it to change pretty quickly, but it might just change into a different sort of worry and discomfort.  For example, today it’s scary to go somewhere alone, but in a couple of months you might have a wild crush on someone and not be able to get them off your mind, even though they’re unattainable.  And a few months after that, you might get very upset about something going on in global Continue reading

0 How can one move past bad memories?

prettyndsweet12 asks: Sometimes I tend to think about the bad and embarrassing things that have happened to me in the past, and it makes me sad and sometimes mad. How can I keep myself from thinking about my past and focus more on my present and future?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

That’s a great question.  People always tell us to move on past the bad things in our pasts, and live life in the present.  But how can we do that when those bad memories just won’t let us go?!

Well, here’s the deal – those memories are there for a very good Continue reading

0 How to handle getting injections

ktarr asks: We’re having injections at school I’m soo worried it will hurt. I know I’m gonna cry and look like a right baby in front of the other girls and then the boys (and my crush) who will see us afterwards.

Hi ktarr –

Oh I know just how you feel!  I hate injections too!  The only thing I hate even more is that my veterinarian has some vaccinations she sprays up my nose!  Remember dogs’ noses are way more sensitive than people’s, and oh do I HATE that!  But shots come in second.  And Handsome has always hated them too.  Hate Hate Hate them!!!

But then… there’s the issue of disease.  I hate getting sick too.  And of course, you’re in a very special situation, where you have to be as strong and healthy as you can, for your baby.

So here’s the only advice I can give.  Don’t look at the Continue reading