Category Archives for "Questions"

0 How to deal with a jealous friend

poproxy360 asks: My best friend likes to blame me for everything and say “shut up” whenever I speak, and always says she feels left out when I try to hang out with our other best friends. She calls me annoying and gets mad easily. I won’t blame her completely – I also like to tease her – but she always says she feels left out and tells our best friends that I tease them (which I do, but she also teases them)… but if I skip all that, she is awesome! So I am not giving her up. What should I do?

Hi poproxy360 –

Human friendships are so complicated!  When I get together with one of my best pals, like Kuma, Louie, or Stella, it’s so simple – we dive on each other and joyously beat each other senseless, growling and mouthing (but never really biting) until we’re both exhausted.  It’s such fun!

(Well, okay, I can’t do that with Louie, because he’s a dachshund, and if I even nosed him too hard, he’d flip across the yard sideways.  So with him, it’s more a lot of sniffing, and barking at people – and that’s fun too.)

We don’t get all that upset about our friends playing with other dogs, we don’t blame each other for anything (except biting us!), and we don’t tell on each other.  It’s not that we dogs are better or smarter or more moral than humans – we’re just not programmed that way.

But you are.  So I think the important thing is to Continue reading

0 How to treat someone who’s just broken up with you

Heartbroken asks: I’ve been in a relationship with this girl for seven months. Now I (a girl who’d never been in a relationship with a girl before) have fallen in love with her. However high school carries rumors, and I heard certain stuff about her and her ex -girlfriend. Although I was upset, I trusted her and we moved forward. We argued a lot but we also shared good moments. But for the last couple of weeks, things just haven’t been right. We got into a fight about my texting her while she was asleep (though she apologized for that one), and I made a joke while we were chatting, and she hung up on me, and then broke up with me! I must include that within this time her ex has been texting her. What should I do? I can’t stop crying and feeling guilty. I love her so much.

Hi Heartbroken-

There’s a lot about this relationship I don’t know, of course.  Even with my great hearing, my doggy ears can’t hear what’s going on in her head at this moment.  But I am sure of one thing: it’s not about you texting her. And it’s not about your joke.  And it sure sounds to me like there’s no reason for you to feel guilty.

In fact, it sounds to me like she is feeling guilty!

I see humans do this all the time.  When they’re feeling bad about themselves, they lash out and blame others for anything they can find – especially the person they’re feeling bad about doing something to.  Someone shows up late to a date, the other person says “Hey where’ve you been?” and the latecomer chews them out for being demanding.  Or, my favorite, when Handsome gets a late start driving somewhere, and I get to sit in the back seat and see him curse out all the drivers who are going too slow for him to speed – as if it’s their fault he’s late!

Now again, I don’t know what this girl has done, or has thought.  But the fact that she’s been texting her ex, and that she’s acting this way, make me think she’s been pulling away from the relationship and you.  And if so, there’s really Continue reading

0 How to stop biting nails

poproxy360 asks: I can’t stop biting my nails, so they never grow. What should I do?

Hi poproxy360 –

We mutts get away with this a lot more than you peeps.  We bite at fleas, chew our nails and whole paws, and lick ourselves everywhere, with no concern at all.  Whereas you guys have to take a lot more care to avoid this very natural act, especially in public – as well as a lot of other ones like picking your noses, scratching your behinds, digging wax out of your ears, and extracting popcorn kernels from your teeth.

But it sounds like you’re more concerned about what the nailbiting does to your nails than any public displays.

This is good.  Bitten and chewed nails keep you from looking as cool as you hope, they keep your nails from growing long and pretty, and putting your hands in your mouth a lot is pretty much the best way in the world to catch every cold, flu, and other illness that’s running around!  So you’re right to want to stop doing it.

Well, I do know a few things you can do.  The first I suggest is that you simply Continue reading

0 How to get your parents to support a big change in your life

prettyndsweet12 asks: I don’t really like the new school I’m going to, so I have two options for next year: go back to my old school (which I didn’t like because I was uncomfortable there but now that I think about it, it was pretty stupid to leave), or I have the option of moving to Virginia, which I think would be a good decision because there are more activities to do. I would get to spend quality time there with my cousins, and I would be able to keep my grandma company (my grandfather passed away about two years ago and it’s just her in the house), but it would be a different experience that I’m not sure I’m ready for. Also I know my dad may want me to live with him and my stepmom, but I’m not sure if I want to. Can you help me rationalize my options so that I can come up with a confident decision?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

One thing about being a dog – everyone thinks we’re running around being silly all the time, but the truth is we spend most of our time watching, waiting, and paying attention.  We know when our friends are coming home because we’ve been listening to the world all day and recognize the sounds of their cars.  We grab dropped food with lightning speed, because while you humans are thinking about each other and the table settings and good manners and all that, all we’re focused on is where morsels can potentially fall.

Similarly, one reason I love doing this job is that I pay really close attention to my Pack members, to try to get a sense of what they want, so I can make them happy.

And frankly, prettyndsweet12, I don’t have to work as hard at this as I do at catching Handsome’s clumsy dining moments.  It seems pretty clear to me that you’d like to Continue reading

0 How to get to go to boarding school

arjai101 asks: I really want to go to Boarding School. But my mom doesn’t want me to, even though I can gain so much from the experience. I have decided to apply to some boarding schools for scholarships, because I know my mom would never pay or support my decision. However, the applications require money and financial statements and I have to ask my mom for that. I know why my mom won’t let me go to Boarding school, but I just really really want to go. How can I make that happen?

Hi arjai101 –

I don’t know enough about the details of your situation to give a definite answer, so I’m going to give you a few:

First:  Just as I often want to go outside and chase a cat down the street, but Handsome won’t let me do it (he says it’s got something to do with me getting run over), there’s a truth to the idea that, when your parent says No, sometimes that just means No.  There are lots of good reasons to go to boarding school, but if a kid’s parents aren’t willing to give their okay, the school probably can’t accept the kid.  So if your mom says no, it just might mean this is one experience you don’t get to have.

Second: Is the issue just that she Continue reading

0 What to do if you’re scared about growing up

poproxy360 asks: I am scared of growing up and losing my childhood forever. I am not in puberty yet and I don’t have breasts yet either, but I am ten and scared of growing up. What should I do?

Hi poproxy360 –

What you’re asking is as normal as my wanting to chase squirrels! Almost all pre-teens have this fear, though few admit it. So good for you, for your honesty and openness!

You say that you’re scared of growing up. Yet I’ll bet that when you were three years old, you wanted nothing more than to do just that. And probably when you were six. And maybe even when you were nine.

What’s happened is that you’ve suddenly realized that the next stage of growing up isn’t just being a little bigger and stronger and faster, and being able to do a few more things at school. You’re looking straight at the biggest Continue reading

0 What to do when a relationship gets stuck

Twilight Wolves asks: Hello. I hope you can help me or give me a little insight. In December I made a decision I felt was best and my boyfriend did not approve, though he supported me until I realized he was right and I’d made a terrible decision. Since then, I’ve done everything I can to rectify the situation, but he has decided he needs time to think and won’t tell me why. He simply asks that we remain exclusive and that I be patient while he sorts things out. We text everyday several times, but we haven’t seen each other for three months, and he no longer says or responds to “I love you”. I don’t understand what’s happening!!! Any ideas?

Hi Twilight Wolves –

Of course I don’t know exactly what happened between you two, or what you did, but it sounds like your boyfriend has had some trouble knowing and enforcing his own boundaries. When you did whatever it was, he supported you in it. But then, when you changed your mind, said he was right, and became all there for him, he pulled away and said he needs to sort things out.

The one thing I’m sure of is that he’s right – he does need to sort things out. I don’t know if he’s doing it in the best way possible, but he is, now, really taking charge of himself and opening up about where he’s at emotionally.

I’d have to know what really happened to give any more specific advice, but my main thought is Continue reading

0 How to deal with a friend who’s becoming unlikable

pitbull kisses asks: Hi. I am 9 years old. I have a friend who has become so annoying and mean. I don’t want to be friends with her anymore. I tried ignoring her, but she follows me around. If I don’t do what she wants, she is really mean. I also think she does really gross things like pick at her sores. I don’t want people to think I am also gross. I don’t know what to do – she is really stressing me out. Please help!

Hi pitbull kisses –

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Friends are such a great thing to have, and it stinks when a friendship develops problems that threaten to ruin it.

Having said that, it’s clear that your friend is going through a very strange phase. She’s being demanding and mean, and even picking at herself in ways that you and others find disgusting. This might mean that something difficult is going on in her life; if so, maybe you can help her get through it and thereby develop a better friendship than you’ve ever had. But if it’s just her being rude and unaware, then I certainly understand your wish to move on.

Either way, I think you have to do the same thing – which is probably the last thing you’d want to do! And that is to Continue reading

0 Should you stay in a relationship where you’re constantly jealous?

Volcano asks: Hello. Well I’m having relationship issues and don’t know what to do. First, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years. I am ten years older than him. That’s my first issue. I’m always afraid that he will leave me for someone younger so obviously I have trust issues. Especially because of my past relationships. I always question his intentions when he’s being real nice to his female coworkers and so I am very jealous. The most recent time was when I was going to his work for lunch. He asked his female coworker if she wanted anything. She said no. So we ate and after I left he tells me that he was going to go get her food because she was eating some frozen meal and offered once again to go get her something. At this time when he told me that I got furious. I just asked him why is he so considerate for her and he just got mad and said he did it because he did. And then he started telling me how tired he was of me and that it was over. I just kept telling him how could you tell me you love me like two hours ago and kiss me and now it’s over. Just like that. It’s been two weeks since that incident and we’re still living together but he says he just wants to be alone. We haven’t had intimacy and he says he doesn’t want to. I love him and don’t want to lose him but he has been just a different person. So I asked him if everything he’s said is a lie. For Valentine’s Day he sent me thru text something he made for me and said he loved me to till his last breath. So my question is: Can someone just snap and stop loving a person he’s said he loves so much, to not loving them at all? He even said that he thinks that he used to tell me he loved me out of habit and didn’t think he meant it. What can I do to save this relationship? Is it salvageable?

Hi Volcano –

Wow! Okay, I’m seeing two issues here, and I’ll take each on separately. Then it’ll be kinda up to you, how you put the two together.

First – the jealousy thing. I get jealous. Handsome will see some really cute dog and pet it and play with it, and I’ll feel the need to go over and give it a little bit of a whupping. Not to hurt it, but just to let it know that I’m the Queen here, and that it had better remember that. After all, I like that Handsome loves dogs – he always smells so much more interesting after he plays with them!

But that doesn’t mean that I have the kinds of suspicion that you humans have. After all, if I smell another dog on Handsome’s hands or clothes, there’s nothing for me to worry about; I just know that he’s been petting another dog. But for you, and other humans, it’s all about suspicion: you see your boyfriend get a woman something to eat, and you instantly suspect everything from him preferring her to you, to him actually cheating on you, to him leaving you!

And while this is a completely natural act of your superior, imaginative brains, the advice from this simple, small-brained dog is: Continue reading

0 How to keep someone who’s been hurt from enacting vengeance

Graciano_Durai asks: I have a friend from school. He’s from three Middle Eastern Countries and one Central African Country. He’s from Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and his farther grandmother comes from the Democratic Republic of Congo. He wishes he could go back to the Middle East. Even with all the terror, He still prefers The Islamic Republic of Iran, Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, Republic of Iraq, and the Democratic Republic of Congo. He hates one thing the most out of all things: America. He’s hated America ever since he was five, after an American bomber plane killed a friend of his and his whole family, along with his dog. Ever since then, I’m afraid he’s just going to just blow up; because he’s a ticking time bomb, he is waiting for the perfect moment to release his anger and hatred. What exactly can I do to keep him from both bottling his anger and not to release his anger all at once?

Hi Graciano_Durai –

I would love to start my answer by saying that we dogs never act out of vengeance, that we’re above that sort of thing. But the truth is, we’re not. One day Handsome and I were visiting his brother’s home, and I saw his parents’ dog Buster, through a window, eating my food out of my bowl. Over twelve hours later, I was able to meet up with Buster, and dove onto her to beat her up and let her know that was unacceptable behavior! I didn’t want to injure her at all, or certainly to kill her. I just wanted to show her who was boss. But it means I can relate to your friend, if only a little.

I can’t blame your friend one bit for his anger or his hurt. War simply stinks, even if it’s got some moral justification (such as if someone’s fighting to protect themselves or their home), and too often it doesn’t even have that. I live in the United States, and I like a lot of the values our country has, but Continue reading