Category Archives for "Questions"

0 How to discipline misbehaving children

syeda asks: My child is a very naughty boy. He beats every one, and he does not listen to any one. What can I do?

Hi syeda –

It’s hard for me to answer your question without knowing how old your son is, but I can give a general answer to you:

Your kid is misbehaving, and you’re not sure how to control it.  And it sounds like he’s really unhappy.   Here are my broad rules for this:

1)   You need to set consequences for actions.  They need to be clear and immediate.  If he hits someone, a certain consequence happens.  If he doesn’t listen, another does.  Every time.

2)   Your goal is to teach him, not to Continue reading

0 How should teenagers deal with “inappropriate” websites?

moonfur asks: My best friend isn’t allowed to talk to me anymore because I found an inappropriate website and told her about it, and then continued to go on it, and her mum found out about it — so my bff was forced to say that I showed it to her. We are like sisters! How do I survive this?

Hi moonfur –

Wow, thanks for asking such an open question.

What hits me the most about it is one word:  “inappropriate.”  I want you to think a minute about what that word means, because everything I say will be about that.

“Inappropriate” is a word that people use very freely, and often… well… inappropriately!  It means something that’s not suitable for a particular occasion:  It’s appropriate to yell out “Goooooooooal!” at a World Cup match, but not at a church service.  It’s appropriate to laugh loudly when a movie comedian falls down, but not when your teacher does.  It’s appropriate for…  well, you get the idea.  But I hear lots of people say something’s “inappropriate” simply because they don’t like it!  “It’s inappropriate for you to point out that I was lying,” for example.

So, given that, what makes the website you saw “inappropriate?”  Was it something only Continue reading

0 How do you stop hurting someone you love

Kelina asks: How do you stop hurting someone you love? I don’t mean to do it.

Hi Kelina –

Thanks for this very open question about hurting someone you love.

First, I want you to check out an earlier post I did, to the exact opposite question, about why the people we love hurt us!  It was written by Duaa.  Just put that name in the search box on the AskShirelle site, and it’ll come up.

But to your question, I’d say you need to ask yourself one very important question first:  Are they really being hurt by what you’re doing, or choosing to be Continue reading

1 Should I trust my guy?

Aroula asks: Should I trust my guy?

Wow, that’s a tough question.  I don’t know anything about him, but I guess here’s the best I can offer:

Some legal systems in the world operate from the idea that a person is “innocent until proven guilty.”  In other words, it’s up to the court to prove that the person committed a crime before they can be punished for it.  And in those systems, police often get into trouble if they have arrested a person without “just cause.”

I think that’s a good way to be in relationships too.  There are lots of people out there who spend all their time distrusting their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse, or even their friends.  And you know what?  They’re unhappy people!  They can always find reasons not to trust!  Then there are others out there, who do the Continue reading

0 How do I control my appetite?

Ashley asks: How do I control myself when I’m home at night and I’m really hungry?

Hi Ashley –

This is a really big question.  And I have to admit, much as I dislike it, I’m lucky in this regard.  You see, I can’t get into the refrigerator.  I can’t get into cupboards, I can’t even get into the container that holds my dogfood.  And because Handsome makes sure to regulate all that, I’ve never had an eating problem.  He makes sure I get all the really healthy dogfood I want at dinnertime, and I often leave it out so I can nibble on it during the day too.  But I can’t get pizza and cookies and treats and all whenever I want, only when he lets me have some.

Lots of people have trouble controlling their appetites.  And I certainly relate – I’d have trouble too, if I had the power you humans do.  So what you need to do is to be your own Continue reading

0 Should you pursue others while in a relationship?

susmita asks: I love a guy, but till now I haven’t confirmed if he loves me or not. Although both of us are in relationships now, how can I know what he thinks about me???

Hi Susmita –

Thanks for your question about how to tell if a guy likes you.

First, I want to direct you to an answer I’ve already written.  Look up Hannah’s question that starts with “I really like this boy.”  That will tell you most of what I have to say about that issue.

But you bring up another great point I want to address as well.  You say that you and he are both in relationships already.  Now I can understand why you’d want to find out how this boy feels about you, sure.  But what about the boy you’re already Continue reading

2 Why are teenagers preoccupied with sex

Angelbrat asks: I’m doing a survey at school about ‘Why are teens preoccupied by sex?’ I think of you as a highly professional little ‘puppy’ and your opinion on that question will be surely appreciated!

Ha!  I would love to see the results of that survey when you’re done, Angelbrat!

Well I have a few answers for you.  First of all, there’s the simple biochemical one.  When humans enter puberty, their bodies start secreting a lot of hormones that change them from being children into adults, and most of that has to do with sexual and reproductive aspects.  Whereas children might develop crushes on people because they’re so attracted to them, teenagers tend to walk around in a state of perpetually heightened sexual Continue reading

3 How to create a radio show

Aanand asks: Hi, I am asking a question to you for the first time. In school, I have to do a radio show as a Project. Do you have any ideas? Are there any sites for that? Please help me.

Hi Aanand –

What a cool assignment!  All they had me do in school was sit, stay, and heel.  They never asked me to do a radio show.  And hey, I wouldn’t have been the first canine on the air – there were famous deejays in the past named Moondog and Wolfman Jack!  Ah-WOOOOOOOO!

You can definitely find out stuff about this online.  If you go to a search engine and type in “making a radio show,” you’ll get some Continue reading

0 Does darker skin make a person less beautiful?

Aanand asks: For about 2 years, my skin has been becoming darker. Now I am 13 years old. I will be 14 years old within 2 months. I want to look more beautiful.

Hi Aanand –

Thanks for your question about your skin getting darker.

Although we dogs aren’t nearly as interested in looks as we are in smells and sounds, I understand your desire to look more beautiful.  It’s clear to me that when I’m dirty and covered in burrs and smells, most people don’t want to pet me, and even Handsome just does enough that it’s clear he’s just letting me know he still likes me.  But when I’m clean and brushed and not so smelly, so many more people want to hug and pet me, and kiss my nose and all.  You just want to be more attractive, and that makes total sense.

But you bring up a really important other issue as well.  It sounds like you’re saying that your skin getting darker means you’re getting less beautiful.  This of course isn’t your fault at all, but I have to say, if I’m reading this right, I HATE HEARING THINGS LIKE Continue reading

0 How to help teenagers who drop out of school

Dianne asks: How can I help children who drop out of school?

Hi Dianne –

What a good person you must be!  Because kids who drop out of school definitely need help.

Now I need to admit a bias here – unless there’s a really strong reason (say, a kid lives on a farm and he needs to leave school to help work the fields and keep his family alive; or if the school is truly dangerous), I’m really against kids dropping out.  There aren’t a lot of things that our societies give to kids, and school is one of the greatest.  Even in a lousy school, kids can learn so many things that will help them later in life, and make friends who’ll Continue reading