Category Archives for "Parenting"

2 How to deal with a judgmental parent

Sarah asks: I feel like I can’t trust or talk to anybody, because I always feel judged, especially by my mom. She always judges me on everything I do, and keeps stuff from me instead of talking to me about it. I also hate it when she’s home, and sometimes I fear her. I can’t be myself around her, and its also affecting me with other people because I am so anti-social and have low self-esteem. I really want to change how I interact with people but I feel like she’s holding me back from the world. Please give me some advice.

Hi Sarah –

Oh I hate hearing things like this.  Parents almost always do what they think is best for their kids, but sometimes they make this gigantic mistake, of overjudging, overprotecting, and so stifling them.

The first word of advice I can give you is long-term, which is to just Continue reading

0 Why would a hard-working teenager lack motivation?

Max asks: At home, I do lots of work but when it comes going out, I feel like not going. I go to college, and if I have to go somewhere, I can go for sure, but when I am home, no matter how important the matter is, I don’t feel like going. Is this laziness, or is something wrong with me?!

Hi Max –

Yes, there’s something wrong with you.  It’s your age!  You’re a college-age boy, and although we usually have this image of guys that age being aggressive, driven, excited, and very social, the truth is that this is a time when males often need to retreat for a while.

Am I correct in guessing that you’re also having some trouble making decisions these days?  That the world is expecting you to pick your major, pick your top interests, find a spouse… and you’re not quite able to choose between eating a carrot and an Continue reading

0 How to deal with teenage drinking or alcoholism

Chandu asks: How to correct an alcoholic teenager?

Hi Chandu –

This is a great question, but before I answer at all, I want to clarify something – the word “alcoholic.”

Alcoholism is a terrible disease, an addiction in which the sufferer is unable, or nearly unable, to resist the urge to drink, no matter how bad the consequences are.  It’s much more than just a desire; it involves the person’s brain being literally re-wired, in a way that can never be undone, even after decades of sobriety.

Lots of teenagers drink, and lots drink way more than is remotely healthy for them or those around them, without being Continue reading

0 What is Primary Complex, and how can it be treated?

lyn_prettydevera asks: what are the signs and symptoms of primary complex to teen-agers?

Hi lyn_prettydevera –

I did a quick web-search about it, and everything I found was about it being in children.  I’m not sure what age is considered the point where it stops being Primary Complex and becomes adult Tuberculosis, but in case you’re talking about someone young enough, here’s a good website for information about it:

http://www.ehow.com/about_6667737_primary-complex-tuberculosis-children.html

Absolutely, my strongest recommendation is that, if you suspect it, check with a physician at once.  Lots of people do just fine with TB, but, untreated, it can be extremely dangerous.

Good Luck, and Thanks!

Shirelle

0 How to get in shape quickly

Sundershiner asks: I’m really overweight, and really upset I’ve let myself get this way. At school all my classmates look at me funny, and I always feel insecure. I am confident in everything else other than my stomach. I don’t have any problems, and I’m occasionally active! I just love to eat! I’ve tried to be healthy, or try to do something active but I just end up not doing it and having some type of food in front of me! So what could I do to get healthy fast? Run, swim, walk, cardio twister, the bike, field hockey practice in my yard? Also, I will be missing a week worth of field hockey practice! My coach said we all really need to get in shape or it will be a nightmare. I know because I did it last year. I just want to be prepared this time! What should I do?

Hi sundershiner –

If I’m understanding your question right, your field hockey will start soon, and you want to get into great shape by then.  Well, it’s impossible to change completely in that time.  But what you can do is start preparing now, to be ready for the practices to get you into better shape.

All the exercises you ask about are great.  And my advice would be to not overdo any of them.  Maybe go Continue reading

6 What are some reasons to become a soldier?

abodunde1987 asks: Can you give me some reasons why I should be a soldier?

Hi abodunde1987 –

Being a member of the military is one of the most difficult, strenuous, and dangerous jobs anyone can choose.  My first answer to your question would be that the biggest reason to become a soldier is because you passionately believe in the cause you’d be fighting for.  For example, if your country has been attacked, you might feel very strongly that you want to be a part of the force that Continue reading

0 What to do if your friends want you to sing but you don’t think you’re good enough

Shellyx asks: My 2 bezzies and I started a band. I don’t think I can sing. I write songs and sing at home but never to them. They keep nagging me to sing but I’m too shy/embarrassed because they’re both really good. They like my songs but they haven’t heard me sing. What do I do? Xxxxx

Hi Shellyx –

Wow do I envy you, that someone wants to hear you sing!  Everyone hates it when I do.  Even Handsome, who loves me more than anything, says I have as ugly a bark as he’s ever heard!

So it seems to me that you’re finding yourself in a very funny situation.  Your friends want you to sing, but you’re afraid that if they hear you sing they won’t like your voice.  But the one way to get them to stop bugging you to sing would be… if you sang!  So my advice is… Continue reading

1 What is racism, and why does it exist?

sazuna45 asks: I’ve been asking a question of people I trust. Kind of a survey: What do you think about racism? How unnecessary/ necessary do you think it is? And what can be the results?

Hi sazuna45 –

Okay, let’s start with a definition.  I define Racism as a particular form of prejudice, in which one makes judgments about a person or group of people based on their race, and not on actual facts.  And usually those judgments are, in some way, negative.

Let me explain what I mean by “usually, in some way, negative.”  Today, one of the most popular sports in the world is Continue reading

1 What to do if your parents treat you worse than your siblings?

rebecca asks: I am 16, and have a 20-year-old sister who my parents love more than me. They’re always telling me I’m good-for-nothing. I mostly do all the hard work like cleaning the house and washing the dishes, and when I am tired, they just tell me get back to work again, and don’t even say a word to my elder sister. If I ask for something, they say no, but if she asks, they give it to her. My parents hate me and hardly appreciate anything good I do. They hardly say any good words to me, and don’t mind if I sleep hungry for weeks. But I don’t hate my sister – I like her – but I can’t stand anymore of our parents’ inappropriate behavior! No matter if I’m right, they always say I’m wrong; many people tell them what a bright and good child I am, but they still don’t change. I don’t know what to do! Please help me!

Hi rebecca –

I just can’t be the only one who reads this and thinks “Well I know the solution to her problem, and it involves a prince, some mice, and a pair of glass slippers!”  You really are living the life of Cinderella, rebecca.  But since I’m only a dog, and not a fairy godmother, I can only offer advice, and not a magical coach!

I think there are two important issues here.  First, there’s the issue of the favoritism your parents are showing your sister.  In terms of that, check out my letter to Bella about a similar problem (just type “Bella” into the search box to your right on this page).

But your problem sounds worse than Continue reading

0 How to set up an exercise regimen

emily asks: What are the best exercises for 12-year-old girls to do? I trampoline and am fairly fit.

Hi emily –

I’m not an expert on exercises, but more importantly, I’m not an expert on You.  There are lots of good exercises that are right for pretty much everyone (swimming, running, chasing squirrels), but you’re at a time in your life when your body is changing faster than it ever will again.  So I’m going to strongly suggest that you get exercise advice from someone who not only knows more than I do, but also can see you and analyze your body’s Continue reading