Category Archives for "Parenting"

0 What are good breakfast foods?

sega asks: What are some of the best easy breakfast options?

Hi sega –

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term “the dog’s breakfast,” but I’m assuming that isn’t what you’re asking for!  (it means vomit!)

Well of course, I primarily love leftovers of whatever Handsome had for dinner the night before.  It’s always great, it’s very easy for him to prepare (just pull it out of the refrigerator and put it in my bowl), and I’ve always been craving it ever since he got home!

But you’re probably after something more usual.  Well, as good as they taste, my sense of nutrition tells me that starting the day with Continue reading

3 Why would a well-cared-for teenager act out?

Nunu asks: We are a family of five. This is my and my husband’s second marriage each. We have a six-year-old daughter, and my husband has two daughters with his first wife. The eldest, 17, lives with her Mom. The youngest, 15, lives with us. The problem that we have is that the 15-year-old spreads lies and steals, which is why she came to live with us. We do not have any financial problems, so the girls get all they need and more. We are very loving parents, always involved with the children, and give them a lot of attention. Lately the 15-year-old has started lying about been emotionally abused and hit at home, as she did when she lived with her mom. She has also begun stealing from us (little things like money, jewelry, and makeup, etc.). We have grounded her countless times and taken her cellphone and laptop away for punishment. We have spoken to her and asked the reasons why she does these things and her answer is always “I don’t know.” She talks back, shouts at everyone, does not do her homework or assignments for school, and gets physically abusive towards our 6-year-old. Please help – we are at our wits’ end with her.

Hi Nunu –

There are so many possible reasons for her behavior that I’m hesitant to even guess what’s going on.  But here are a few possibilities:

1)    Even though you have been an attentive and caring set of parents, middle children almost always feel ignored and alienated in their families (largely because they never got as much attention as the other kids did in their early life).  Lying and stealing can be ways of trying to take power in an environment where they don’t feel any.

2)    Maybe not all her statements are complete Continue reading

0 Why is my child so difficult in the morning?

Jupica asks: My kid is 3 years old, and she does a big show in the morning, because she won’t clean her mouth or brush her teeth. She cries and screams a lot, making a big noise. That takes sometimes half hour, and we are almost always late to school. Do you have any nice and easy idea that works in my case?

Hi Jupica –

I have two thoughts, which are completely different from each other.  One is really common and should be fixable pretty easily; and the other is rarer, and really important to get to work on if that’s the case.

My first thought is – you have a 3-year-old who’s going to school.  That’s pretty young, and she might well just hate going there and feeling abandoned by you (even if she actually has a good time once she’s Continue reading

0 Why do people break up after many years?

smart panther asks: Why do some couples take a separation after a long time (like 18 Years) together ?

Hi smart panther –

As I’m sure you know, there is nothing in the world more loyal than a dog. We will stick by the ones we’ve bonded to, no matter what. How often do you see a poor hungry homeless person, maybe even mentally ill, but with a faithful dog next to them who’d rather die than live apart?

So I may not be the best one to ask about why people would separate after being together for years. But I’ve checked with some humans, and here are some of the responses I’ve gotten:

1) More than dogs, people change and grow, continually, through their Continue reading

0 Do the fears of a 15-year-old go away?

Linda asks: Sometimes I still have that alienated feeling I wrote you about before. I used to be a confident and a peaceful person. I could stay alone, go anywhere alone if I want. But now it’s become the opposite. Just sometimes I’m afraid of ghosts, but still it’s fine. I don’t understand why it happens to me. I can’t see others who are my same age having that problem. May I ask, how long do I need to get rid of it?

Hi Linda –

Thanks for explaining your situation to me with more clarity.

In terms of the usual anxiety and depression about life that 15-year-olds have, I would say you can expect it to change pretty quickly, but it might just change into a different sort of worry and discomfort.  For example, today it’s scary to go somewhere alone, but in a couple of months you might have a wild crush on someone and not be able to get them off your mind, even though they’re unattainable.  And a few months after that, you might get very upset about something going on in global Continue reading

0 What to do with a hyperactive baby

toddlers asks: My baby girl is nine months old. I find her to be a hyperactive child. How should I handle her psychologically?

Hi toddlers –

It’s very normal for a nine-month-old baby to be super-active, and get into everything.  That’s what I was like as a puppy too!  If that’s what you’re talking about, then there’s nothing to worry about except your own exhaustion.  But if the baby is truly acting abnormal in her sleep patterns, mood, or inability to focus, you should definitely take her to a medical doctor, to have her tested.

In terms of ADHD, though, it’s way too early for that to be Continue reading

0 What to do when a family won’t go into therapy

ardnaskela asks: My cousin (who I see about once a year) has an 15-year-old daughter, beginning high school. She hates her parents, and is blackmailing them. She is very clever, but uses her brain in a negative way. Her mother never finished college, and is lost. Her father is alcoholic. She doesn’t want to go to school, or see a psychologist. I know that the whole family needs help. Is there any solution? How to make her go to school again, or to make her go to the psychologist?

Hi ardnaskela –

I have a couple of questions for you, but let me start by saying that this situation is something else!!

First of all, what do you mean when you say that her mother is “lost?”  Are you referring to her not knowing what to do with her daughter, or that she’s lost in her life in general, or… I assume you don’t mean she’s actually missing from her home?

And when you say that she’s “blackmailing” her parents – is she literally demanding money from them for not saying something?  Or is she just doing what many call “emotional Continue reading

0 How to deal with not getting enough money from your caregivers

tinno 06 asks: My uncle and aunt pay for my school fees but they do not pay enough. I suffer at school, but I can’t tell them. This has made me less social – I can’t associate with my friends because in the middle of the term I run out of money, and I don’t eat on Saturday. What should I do? At school I have attitude because am not happy at home. I feel like am not loved. All the time I cry, and I live a fake sad life at school. I do not have clothes, so I have this bad habit of getting people’s things. I really need help please help me.

Hi tinno 06 –

tinno 06, this letter might be even sadder than the one about your father!  I am so sorry you’re going through this!

Money is one of the parts about humanity that I have lots of trouble understanding.  I mean, I like the idea of a token economy (no dog could have ever come up with that!), but the way that people have so many feelings about it, that just mystifies me.  Rich people are ashamed to admit how much money they have, poor people are ashamed to admit that they don’t have much, and someone like you who’s getting money from someone doesn’t feel they have the right to tell them that the amount isn’t Continue reading

0 Should a teen get the hairstyle her mother wants?

Marceline asks: I’m 11 years old. My mom wants me to cut my hair. To align with my chin… I really wanted my hair to be long, but my mom doesn’t want that. What should I do? Do you think hair to the chin is good?

Hi Marceline –

Well, first off, I have to say, I am not a beautician, or a fashion expert.  My hair has been the same length all my life.  It doesn’t grow; I just shed a lot.  I do take a lot of care in grooming, by licking myself all over and biting any rotten little fleas that have jumped onto me.  And I like it when I have a new collar that looks pretty on my orange hair.  But when it comes to things like hair length, or clothes, or jewelry, I’m just not the one to ask!

What I can maybe help a bit with, though, is what to do if you and your mom disagree about your Continue reading

0 What to do with a teenager who wants to move away

buffy1 asks: I have a 16-year-old son who seems to have lost his mind with his first girlfriend. He is terribly aggressive, he has failed 2 schools in one year after being a 70% average student, he won’t listen to reason, he ran away from home a few weeks ago, and now he wants to move 750 km away just to be with his new girlfriend. How do I deal with this?

Hi buffy1 –

I don’t know where you live, but the first question I have is about laws.  (For example, if I run away from home, I’m just going to get picked up by dog-catchers, regardless of my reasons!)

Does your son have the right to move away without your permission?  Was he legally allowed to run away from home?  I don’t know those things, and of course those are huge elements of any good answer for you.

But not knowing those, I have one really strong reaction to your question:  Is That Continue reading