Category Archives for "Life Skills"

0 How to keep your weight down when your family feeds you too much

Naima asks: How can I lose weight quickly, when my mother wants me to keep eating for my health, and eat fattening food?

Hi Naima –

Great question, and there is a trick to it.  Lots of times grownups want their kids to eat a lot, with the idea that eating big amounts makes them healthy.  While the kid might want to eat less, to lose weight, in order to look better.  Now as we all know, eating way too much or way too little can be really harmful.  So your mother might be right, to the degree that she wants you to eat enough to be strong and healthy – but you’re right, to the degree that you don’t want a lot of fattening foods.

The solution is for you to make certain demands about what foods you eat, and then you won’t have to worry so much about how much you eat.

Vegetables and fruits are really the key here.  Lots of people just have them on the side of their meals – say they eat a big slab of meat with a big potato or load of pasta, and a little salad on the side.  Or for breakfast they’ll have eggs, sausage, bacon, pancakes, toast… and a tiny glass of Continue reading

2 How much alcohol is okay to drink

Freeman asks: I am worried about my health. About 3 times a month, my friend and I share a bottle of wine (half each). We think it’s the only way to go out at night and have fun, by drinking nearly once a week. We have been doing this for the last 7 months. I have a few times had some vodka as well. Is this killing me? How is it affecting me? Is it serious? Please help. Thank you.

Hi Freeman –

Okay, I’ll dare to take on this extremely difficult subject, but I’m going to make a disclaimer first.  If you’re a teenager or child, the fact is you shouldn’t be drinking large amounts of alcohol ever.  Your body’s still growing, and it can cause real damage, and contribute to addiction problems later.  I’m not talking about a small amount you might have at family dinners (and I’m certainly not telling you to refuse any religious rituals you may partake in!), but what you’re describing is a bit more than that.

But, on the assumption that you’re a bit older…

As a dog who finds great joy in everything from garbage cans to fire hydrants, I am not able to look down on anyone for enjoying alcoholic drinks.  Humans have been using and enjoying alcohol for Continue reading

0 How to help kids avoid becoming Delinquents

Shane asks: What are the factors for a child to become a delinquent?

Hi Shane –

If I’m being really specific with words, anyone can be a delinquent.  After all, when you return a library book a few days late, they charge you for “delinquent return!”  Based on that, every kid I’m sure will be a delinquent at some time!

But I’m assuming you’re referring to the term “Juvenile Delinquent,” which was very common in the 1950s, referring to tough teenagers who broke the rules of society.  I guess the best-remembered image of Juvenile Delinquents would be James Dean’s performance in the movie “Rebel Without a Continue reading

4 When is punishment child abuse, and what should one do about it

superlover123 asks: Hi, I am facing child abuse. My mother beats me sometimes and I am left with bruises and scars. I sometimes feel like running away but I know that wouldn’t solve anything. Plus I tend to yell at people a lot without thinking first, but I’m afraid to ask for anger management classes because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy. Please help!

Hi superlover123 –

Thank you so much for your question about child abuse.

Okay, first things first.  No parent has the right to beat their child to the point of bruises and scars.  I don’t know where you live, but in a lot of places that’s completely illegal, and the police can come in and stop it.  If you’re not comfortable just walking up to a police officer, or if you’re not sure about the laws where you live, and you want to write me and tell me where you live (not your address, but the country or state is enough), I can find out who you can call to stop this if possible.  I’m very glad you wrote me about it, and I’ll gladly do whatever I can to help you out.

Now as to the anger management, well of course I think it’s your mother who needs an anger management class most Continue reading

0 What are reasons for chronic headaches

i dont know asks: I am a girl. My results in college are fine. But now-a-days I am suffering from severe headaches, especially while reading or browsing the Internet. I have no physical problem. But this continuous headache brings depression for me, and now my friends are getting bored with me too. Is there any solution?

Hi i don’t know –

Wow that sounds absolutely awful!  I hate it when any part of me aches, but if it keeps up for a long time, that drives me nuts!  I’m really sorry you’re going through this.

I know you say you don’t have any physical problem, but certainly the first thing that goes through my mind is – have you had your eyes checked lately?  If your headaches come when you read, there’s a chance you just need some glasses to help make that easier.  If that’s not it, you might look at how you sit when you read.  Lots of humans slouch forward when they read books or go online, and that can create lots of pain – either in the back, neck, shoulders, or Continue reading

2 What should a parent do when they discover things about their teenager

abcdefg asks: How do I deal with teenage relationships, considering the fact that I know about it and my daughter doesn’t know I know about it, since I secretly check her phone when she is at school? I also speak to the so-called boyfriend’s mum, but we have kept it low-key.

Hi abcdefg –

It’s a funny thing.  I’ve written so many responses to teenagers who are in danger of getting in trouble with their parents.  But you’re the first case where I’ve seen a parent who’s really in danger of getting in trouble with the teenager!  I certainly understand your concerns, and why you’ve done what you’ve done, but abcdefg, if your daughter discovers this, she’s going to raise some serious H!

Your biggest problem is inherent in your question:  You want to know how to deal with your daughter’s relationship.  But the only way for you to let her know that you know about it is to let on that you’ve been checking her phone.  And worse, far worse to a teenage girl’s eye, you’ve been talking with her boyfriend’s mother behind her Continue reading

0 What to do about outspoken children

Buffy asks: My daughter is very outspoken. It gets her in trouble in school with her teachers. What should I do?

Hi Buffy –

What a great great question!  It gets to the heart of so much!

You see, I think it’s just GREAT when kids are outspoken!  You’ve probably heard of the rule that was common about a hundred years ago, “Children should be seen and not heard.”  Well I disagree with that completely!  I think kids are brilliant and honest and hilarious, so I think they should be heard even more often!  (Of course I especially think children should mostly be smelled, but I know most humans don’t!)

But I also realize that there are humans who don’t share my view on this.  More importantly, it’s also really important that children are in school, they learn the appropriate behaviors there, which include sitting still, raising their hands, speaking respectfully, and only speaking when allowed.  And the reason these behaviors have to be taught is that they are completely unnatural for Continue reading

1 How to read mixed signals from someone you love

xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx asks: A couple of days ago I realized that I am in love with my best friend. But he recently moved away. He’s in love with someone else but she has a bf. Before he left he asked if he could hold my hand to make his ex jealous; he kept on bugging and bugging me then I said just grab it and we held hands. Then I saw my ex and I was pissed off and he said we should go over there and make out in front of them. I asked why and he said it would be funny. But we didn’t do it. So I need help – I don’t know what to do. Also, since it’s fall break, we text a lot. Also for like 3-4 nights I had dreams of him. He said he’s been thinking of me a lot (along with all the other friends he had to leave behind). He has no idea that I am in love with him. What do I do? I want to be with him, but he told me one time that he doesn’t like long distance relationships. So… I want to be with him, but I am scared to get hurt. But I want him to be happy even if I can’t be happy. Please help me! :/

Hi xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx –

Thanks for your question about your best friend.

Well, I could be wrong, but I only see two possibilities here:  Either this guy truly doesn’t see you in a romantic way, or he’s pretending that he doesn’t!

If it’s the first, you’re in a tough predicament – and you might even be better off that he’s moved away.  Because it’s really tough to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, especially if you two hang around a lot together.  So your job is to move on.  You can still have the feelings you have for him, but you need to find other people to care about (just think of how many girls are in love with Justin Continue reading

0 How to overcome fear of speaking

Eiei asks: I have something wrong in speaking in public. Most people aren’t interested in me when I am speaking. They change the subject. And I think most people aren’t really friendly to me. And then I’m scared by stress. I don’t want to get low marks at University. But trying to attend it, and scared about it. I hope you will help me. Thank you!

Hi Eiei –

You have probably heard the statistic.  Consistently, when groups of people are asked what they fear most, “Public Speaking” wins.  Even over things like Torture and Death!

As a dog, I don’t really have this issue.  The only public speaking I ever do is barking to grab attention.  “Hey there’s someone at the door!”  “Hey squirrels, stay away from my house!”  “Hey doggy across the street, notice me!”  Once I have their attention, I don’t really have any more reason to Continue reading

0 What does it mean when someone takes a long time to return a text?

Lovelyme asks: Hello. I have this problem and its bothering me. See, I used to like this boy and, now that we aren’t talking anymore, it’s like I still like him and I’m pretty sure he does too! However when ever I text him he never replies back, and when he does its 30 minutes later. Usually I know what to do but at this point I’m stuck!

Hi Lovelyme –

Well Lovelyme, of course I don’t really know what’s going on in this boy’s mind, but two thoughts come to me.

First, kids today are SOOOO impatient!  Your great-great-grandparents probably wrote letters to each other that took a month to arrive, which means it took two months for them to hear back from each other.  Your grandparents could phone each other, but unless there was someone there to answer the call, they didn’t even know the other had called.  And even your parents probably just had answering machines, so until they went home they didn’t know.  And you’re complaining about thirty minutes?!  (And think about me!  The only way I know who’s come by to visit is to smell around and hope they peed on a Continue reading