How to read mixed signals from someone you love

xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx asks: A couple of days ago I realized that I am in love with my best friend. But he recently moved away. He’s in love with someone else but she has a bf. Before he left he asked if he could hold my hand to make his ex jealous; he kept on bugging and bugging me then I said just grab it and we held hands. Then I saw my ex and I was pissed off and he said we should go over there and make out in front of them. I asked why and he said it would be funny. But we didn’t do it. So I need help – I don’t know what to do. Also, since it’s fall break, we text a lot. Also for like 3-4 nights I had dreams of him. He said he’s been thinking of me a lot (along with all the other friends he had to leave behind). He has no idea that I am in love with him. What do I do? I want to be with him, but he told me one time that he doesn’t like long distance relationships. So… I want to be with him, but I am scared to get hurt. But I want him to be happy even if I can’t be happy. Please help me! :/

Hi xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx –


Thanks for your question about your best friend.


Well, I could be wrong, but I only see two possibilities here:  Either this guy truly doesn’t see you in a romantic way, or he’s pretending that he doesn’t!


If it’s the first, you’re in a tough predicament – and you might even be better off that he’s moved away.  Because it’s really tough to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, especially if you two hang around a lot together.  So your job is to move on.  You can still have the feelings you have for him, but you need to find other people to care about (just think of how many girls are in love with Justin Bieber these days – if they all stayed “faithful” to this guy they’ve never met, the whole world would suddenly be miserable!  No one would go to school dances anymore – and in the long run, the whole human race would die off because no one was having babies (except for whoever gets Justin)!!!


But there’s a decent chance that it’s the second situation!  I’m just thinking… why did he suddenly want to hold your hand?  Why did he decide that making out with you would be the fun prank to pull?  And why did he tell you he doesn’t like long-distance relationships?  Is it possible he’s saying that out loud because he really wants you, just like you want him?!


I sure understand that you’re scared to be hurt.  And with him living away, there’s a perfectly fair question of whether, even if he would want to be your boyfriend, it’s worth discussing.


But on the other hand, sometimes it’s just nice to know.  And maybe you two could visit occasionally, and maybe you can write each other wonderful letters and have great phone calls, and maybe one day he’ll move back and….


…I don’t know… maybe you’ll suddenly change from Dark Music Lover to a big fan of sprightly Irish Jigs and Viennese Waltzes!!!!


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Lady Ritzy - November 8, 2011 Reply

Hi. Look, lovers are always crazy for their lost half, so if he really likes you he would like to keep in touch with you, even for long distance relationships. If he likes you his situation won’t be a big predicament for him. However do you ever think of how he treats you? Does he ever show his love to you? Maybe he is like a mendacious whisper for you(a good friend) be careful. God blesses for you. bye.

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