Category Archives for "Life Skills"

0 How to treat friends who aren’t telling you everything

fourcats asks: I sent you a question about ignorance from friends, and I did what you told me, but they say there is no reason for their distance. I am scared that I will fall in trouble for a thing that I haven’t done. I saw those friends talking with our teacher about a problem, and I think that might be the reason for their behavior. How can I know whether this is my mistake or a misunderstanding about me? And how can I be friends with them again?

Hi four cats –

I am only a dog.  I have no way of knowing what your friends are thinking or feeling, or what anyone said to your teacher.

But here’s the funny thing.  At least for right now, neither do you.

Yep, that’s what I said.  You have no idea of what’s going on.  Maybe your friends are blaming you for something horrible that someone else did.  Or maybe not.  Maybe you’re in huge trouble with the teacher.  Or maybe not.  Maybe your friends have actively decided to ignore you because they are furious with you.

Or maybe not.

So here’s the weird thing about situations like this:  You can Continue reading

1 How to deal with parents who are addicts

kaylanicole asks: My best friend, who is my stepmom’s niece (so technically my cousin now), and I have been close for years. She’s just spent nine days with her sister, who hates me. Now one minute she’s telling me to “**** off,” and the next saying “I love you.” She has a lot going on too, because her parents are constantly doing drugs and she’s had a rough life, but I always try to be here for her. We have been arguing on and off and it really hurts. I don’t want to lose her or stop talking to her, because I’m already stressed enough (My mom is on pills and heroin real bad and I’m scared she will die soon because she won’t get any help, and my grandma who raised me is in bad health, and my papaw who also raised me passed a year ago). I recently moved out of my grandma’s house because of stress/depression, but now I have it just as bad here. I always feel bad because my grandma tries to get me to move back in and tells me how she needs help and stuff. My nana has Crohn’s disease and is really skinny and in terrible shape. I told my best friend that I have a lot going on. She is one of the people that means the most to me and I just don’t know what to do. She will bring up her sister’s BF’s sister to make me jealous, and she changed her cover photo on Facebook to them, which used to be us most the time. I feel so alone and replaced, and most nights I lay in bed and cry until I’m tired. The depression/stress is taking over.

Hi kaylanicole –

This is one of the most heartbreaking letters I’ve ever received.  I get mail all the time that tells of pain, heartbreak, or frustration, and I’m usually able to keep my tail wagging and come up with cheerful fun ways to help those people out.  But after reading your letter, I had to go outside and give a big mournful yowl.

It’s not that your situation is impossible.  It’s just that it’s so sad.  Both you and your best friend are suffering with parents who are drug addicts.  And that is one of the toughest situations any kid can live in.

Now before any readers jump in to say, “Hey, I saw my dad Continue reading

0 Can youngsters manage their anger?

AudreyKimberly146 asks: I am an eleven years old kid and I’m not an ordinary girl. I cook if I want, but I have a disease that makes my family the victim. This is strange, but seriously I can’t control my emotions! If somebody hurts me at school, I’ll be angry, but I usually still have a heart attached to my body, and just can be quiet (though if I get upset enough, it’s more like an earthquake!). I don’t wanna see any of my friends hurt because of me. But at home, I will hit a surface of a table and yell bad words to my siblings. So now I’m wondering if I can say something that will not hurt anybody. (I take this from a cartoon named “The Amazing World of Gumball”) So, I just have to say ” I have a stupid brain, in a stupid head, with a stupid mind, packed in a stupid personality if I get angry “. That way, I think I would be able to relieve myself every time I get angry. Now, what do I want to ask is, with this way, will everything be alright?

Hi AudreyKimberly146 –

I’m very very impressed with you, AudreyKimberly146.  What you’re doing is something called Anger Management.  There are psychologists all over the world who specialize in this, who run classes for teenagers and adults who are unable to control their rage.  Sometimes these are people like you who get upset for legitimate reasons, but lose control over their actions.  Sometimes, though, it can be worse – for example, a parent who loses their temper because their baby is crying, or because their puppy pooped indoors, things that no one has any Continue reading

0 How to make an absent-minded teenager take responsibility

Cookie Vidal asks: I have a hard time getting my 16-year-old brother to do all my dog’s things (pick up her feces, change her water etc.), and for the last 6 months or so I have been doing it for him. He stays home all day and can’t even clean the floor or wash the dishes etc. So how do I approach him to get him to do something other than being on Facebook?

Hi Cookie Vidal –

Okay, first things first:  Nothing here is anything but normal.  16-year-old boys tend to be very forgetful, even if they mean to be responsible; and they usually are a lot less concerned with messes than other people.

If this weren’t the case – if he were, say, 24 – my suggestion to you would be to stop doing his chores.  To leave the dog’s mess out, to leave the floor and dishes (it’s not fair to the dog to not give her water though), and wait till it starts to drive him absolutely nuts.  That method works beautifully – but not necessarily with 16-year-old boys!

So I think you need to take more drastic measures.

The first one is – where is the rest of Continue reading

0 What to do when a sibling gets you in trouble by lying

AudreyKimberly146 asks: Hi, I’m 11 years old and I’m from Indonesia. I love my family, but sometimes they are so annoying. Once I dropped a phone because of my big sis nudging me. She said “sorry” to me, but when Mom asked who dropped the phone, she pointed at me. I explained that my big sis nudged me, but I also told Mom that she has said sorry! Then she yelled at me saying that she never said that and that saying so was an evil thing! And added, “how could you dare blaming your own big sister?” in a mad voice. So, my Mom was angry at me because I’d dropped the phone and blamed my sister! I don’t know what to say to my big sis! Please help me!

Hi AudreyKimberly146 –

Wow this is a really tough and rotten situation you’re in!  Tough because it’s hard to know what to do, and rotten because it’s totally unfair, and based in what sounds like a lie!

If I understand correctly, there’s nothing happening now about this, right?  In other words, you’re not still in trouble or anything?  Because if so, that means you have the advantage of time.  There’s nothing you need to rush into.

And if that’s the case, then here’s what I think would be a good idea.  Go up to your Continue reading

0 Am I good enough for my crush?

Cookie Vidal asks: What should I do if my friends always make fun of me because I have a huge crush on this guy I met at camp over the summer? Also they always call me fat and say that I have a longa (which is Spanish for huge stomach), and it hurts but I still take it as a joke. At the same time I don’t want to leave them, because if I leave one they’ll all go following her. I want to know how to tell them to stop making fun of me just because this guy pops up in my head everyday! I want to just move on (Oh, I forgot to mention that he is extremely HOT!).

Hi Cookie Vidal –

The issue of friends making fun of a friend is a tough one to comment on, because I don’t know a lot about it.  Is the group being really mean and insensitive, ganging up on one like a wild dog pack attacking an injured member?  Or is the person just highly sensitive, and not good at joking in the way they like to joke?  I’ve dealt with both in previous questions, so I’m going to send you both my Continue reading

2 How to build confidence after almost failing an exam

teejay 96 asks: Lately I’ve been feeling really down. I barely passed this important exam I took a few months back. I’m supposed to be preparing for the next exam in line, but I’m so demoralized. I tried so hard for the last exam and thought I would pass really well. But, that didn’t happen. I’ve lost interest in reading and I really don’t know what to do. Nobody understands and they all think I’m fine. HELP!

Hi teejay 96 –

This is a really fascinating situation!  I have to confess, we dogs have the exact opposite point of view.  If I walk outdoors and a squirrel is standing by me and I grab it, I don’t feel any particular pride.  But if I see a squirrel a hundred feet away, and I run after it and it runs fast and turns tight corners that I have to try really hard to take, and it runs up a tree and I leap and just barely grab it by the tail, and it falls off the tree but is able to run away from me and I chase it and just barely grab it before it gets under the fence…  I feel great!  That’s the most exciting part of my day, and I feel more confident of my abilities as a hunter than I did before.

You, on the other hand, seem to have been discouraged by having not passed that exam more easily.

And what’s worse, instead of the exam being so hard making you study harder for the next one, you’ve lost the spark that made you a Continue reading

0 How to get someone to trust you after you’ve lied to them

Destined962013 asks: Me and my boyfriend have been together for over seven months now. About four months ago, I lied to him about something very serious. I really had no reason to lie to him in the first place, but I did. The problem is that, since then, I have been completely truthful about everything, but he doesn’t believe me. I was wondering if you know any way for me to show him that I really am not lying to him now.

Hi Destined962013 –

Quick answer:  No.  There is no way to prove you’re not a liar.  There’s a rule in logic that says “One cannot prove a negative.”  What it means is, it’s impossible to prove that something is not the case.  You can only prove that something is the case.

For example, let’s say you go home, and you see that your cat was bitten by someone this morning.  Can I prove that I wasn’t the one who Continue reading

0 How old should one be before getting a dog?

danny asks: What is the appropriate age for keeping a dog?

Hi danny –

I assume you’re asking about the right age for a human to be, if they’re going to adopt a dog.  If I’m wrong, and you mean to ask what is the right age for a dog to be adopted, please get back to me on that.

I don’t think there’s an appropriate age for getting a dog.  What matters is the appropriate Continue reading

0 How to get your husband to defend you to his parents

Rushme asks: I have been married for two years. My husband works 200 kilometers away, and comes back here every weekend. We love each other very much. But his father doesn’t want me to move to where he works (in hopes that his son will move back here), and he is obedient to his father and so keeps me here. I’m very lonely, especially as my mother-in-law won’t converse with me (though my father-in-law is more normal). I want to stay with my HUSBAND, but this loneliness makes me sometimes want to leave all of them. What can I do?

Hi Rushme –

Every dog understands what it’s like to be absolutely crazy about a human who has to be away all the time for work.  I go through what you’re feeling every day, when Handsome leaves (and since dogs experience time as seven-times-human-time, a day for me is pretty equivalent to a week for you!).

For us dogs, there’s really nothing we can do to change this, though we try to get our humans to stay home by opening our eyes really widely and cocking our head and whining, so they feel as guilty as possible when they go!

But humans should have more Continue reading