Category Archives for "Kids"

0 Should parents worry about specific developmental delays?

shilpi asks: My daughter is four and half years old, and she is in nursery school. She always writes some of the alphabet letters as their mirror image like S and N, and she also wears her shoes on the wrong feet. Otherwise she is very intelligent and has very good grasping power. Please advise: Is this normal and what does it reflect?

Hi shilpi –

This is a great question.  Thanks so much for it!

There are humans who know a great deal more about the development of the brain than this puppy ever will.  But one thing I can tell you is that brain development is a very winding and bumpy road.  Children will seem to have mastered a complete sort of awareness, and then show an equally complete confusion about something that we see as extremely simple.  What makes this especially difficult is that different children develop different skills at different speeds.  For example, my friend Handsome taught himself to read at age three, but had a terribly difficult time mastering the seemingly-easier tasks of reading a clock and tying his Continue reading

2 Will raising grades make parents proud?

star asks: How do I, as a 17-year-old student, improve my grades enough for my parents to be proud of me?

Hi Star –

Sorry I wasn’t able to answer your question earlier.  I must say, I’m impressed with your persistence in “hounding” me to answer you, though!  If you show that same persistence in your studies, I’m sure you’ll do great!!

My main answer to you, in terms of how to improve your grades, would be the same as my answer to CaNdAcE’s question about school skills for teenagers (You can find it by typing keywords into the search box on the right side of the page here).

But Star, I think there’s another issue here I want to address with you.  You want to make your parents proud.  Now I don’t know you or your parents, but I know enough humans to know that Pride is a very, very tricky thing.  Some parents are proud of their kid no matter what bad things that kid does.  Other parents can’t be made to feel proud of their kid, no matter what good or great things that kid does.  The kid could get straight-A’s in school, rescue a drowning child in a river, or make millions of dollars and buy those parents a mansion and three cars… and they still won’t feel proud!  It’s not about the kid; it’s about them.   They’re just incapable of feeling pride.  Or maybe they’re able to feel it, but they’re not able to express it to their child.

Again, I don’t know you or your parents, so perhaps it is possible for you to win their pride through better grades.  But I just want to warn you, if you raise your marks and still don’t feel they’re taking pride in you, your job is to feel that pride about yourself!  Let them have their own strengths and weaknesses, and move on in your own life.  The more real pride you feel in yourself, the less you’ll need others to feel it about you.

And this is a terribly important lesson to learn in life, Star.  One which learning at 17 is a wonderful fantastic accomplishment.

So hit those books, raise those grades, and see where that takes you.  You’re at the beginning of adulthood, Star.  Your whole future lies ahead.  Do your best, and step forward.  The world is yours!

Cheers,

Shirelle

0 How a kid can make money.

harley asks: I’m ten and I need ways to make money for a school trip to Mexico. Do you have any ideas on how I can get money? My parents are low on money so I can’t ask them.

Hi Harley –

How great!  I will love throwing some ideas at you, especially as I’m such a fan of travel, and I’m so impressed with your willingness to work for the money for this cool trip!  Mexico is really beautiful, and I’m sure you’ll have a great time.

But how to get there?  Well, I don’t know where you live, but a few kind of universal ways would be:

1)    Yard and House Work.  Most of your neighbors, and your friends’ families, probably have some sort of projects they’d love to get done around their homes.  Maybe it’s continuing work, like keeping their lawns mowed.  Or perhaps it’s some one-off project, like putting a new coat of paint on something, or clearing out an overgrown area.  Of course you don’t want to offer your services for a job that you’re not qualified for, but if it’s just simple labor, people will pay well for a good cheerful hard-worker.

2)    Vacation Care.  When people leave their homes for a vacation or work trip, it’s great to know there’s someone taking care of the place.  Maybe that means feeding pets, watering plants, picking up newspapers or Continue reading

0 What are good plays for children?

Elizabeth asks: Do you have some play scripts for nursery schools?

Hi Elizabeth –

Thanks for writing and asking me about play scripts for nursery schools.

I really don’t know about those things, but I am a big fan of getting children to perform, for many reasons (building self-esteem, body awareness, imagination, etc).

I found a good web page that talks about this subject.  You might want to check it out:

http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=983

But really, I don’t think you need to find pre-written plays.  At the preschool age, children won’t last long in a play, so you could probably write something yourself, based on a story you like.  Or even (and I love doing things like this) having the KIDS write it!

Good Luck!

Shirelle

0 How to meet a celebrity

Aqua asks: I want to meet Taylor Swift, but I live far from her. What should I do?

Hi Aqua –

Wow, I’d love to meet her too!  She’s one of the few humans I’ve ever seen who’s even thinner than me!   And I’ve always loved music, all sorts, so she’s my kind of human.

Now with lots of celebrities, like movie stars, it’s virtually impossible to have any access to them.  But pop singers like Taylor Swift have a different situation.  They tour, all the time.  No matter how many recordings they sell, or how often they’re on TV, they still depend a lot on making personal appearances, and having contact with their public.

So the odds are very good that, no matter where you live, Taylor will be fairly near you at some time.  The tough part is that you don’t just want to see her singing “Love Story” and “Speak Continue reading

0 What is childhood Depression like?

Mama asks: My son is 11 yrs old. Since he was young, he easily gets angry from any thing. He can beat his friends for teasing him, he answers his teachers badly, and it’s never easy to calm him down. I’ve tried to talk to him, punish him, and do anything to stop it. When he calms down from his anger attacks, he either starts to wonder why he did it or tries to lie about what happened and say he was not the cause of the problem. Help me please.

Hi Mama –

I have a lot of thoughts about what might be going on, but they all lead to the same place.  Your son has a definite anger problem, which is beyond what’s normal for his age.  I really would urge you to find a good therapist who specializes in kids, as it sounds like there’s something really bothering your son, and the sooner it gets resolved, the happier he will be.

Having said that, my sense is that your son is probably a bit depressed.  We all know what depression looks like in adults – melancholy moods, hopelessness, lack of energy – but it’s almost the exact opposite in kids and early Continue reading

0 Who is Shirelle and what’s the Pack?

123456 asks: Hi. My name is Pius; I just joined the pack today. I just want to ask what your name and are you the pack leader

Hi Pius –

Thanks so much for joining the pack!  My name is Shirelle.  I’m a dog who loves nothing more than to help kids, teens, and parents make their lives happier.  So I started this website to help anyone who wants me to.

Although I guess I am the leader of the Pack, I feel more like a Continue reading

1 How to deal with sibling rivalry

Toota asks: I have a 3-year-old daughter and she is very intelligent. Now I have a new baby and my older daughter is very angry with me, she tells me “I do not love you,” she hits her little sister. Is this depression? What shall I do?

Hi Toota –

Congratulations on your new baby!  I wish I could walk right up and sniff your whole family!!

Okay, I have good news and bad news for you.  Good news first – your daughter’s behavior doesn’t show Depression, or any other abnormality.  In fact, if she weren’t acting this way, I’d worry a bit.  She is showing a healthy, normal attitude, which I’m sure will, one day, turn into a beautiful relationship with her sister.

Then the bad news:  That day won’t come soon!  For three years, your daughter was the center of the universe.  You put all your attention onto her, she delighted you with her brightness, and everything was fantastic.  Then you hit her with the greatest insult she will ever receive in her life:  You had another Continue reading

0 What does it mean when you start to split off from your friends?

laury98 asks: I hang out with guys now that the girls are being annoying and boring. But now the girls are calling me bad names. What should I do, because those aren’t my intentions; my intentions are to have a conversation with someone who won’t whine like a baby! What should I say to them?

Hi laury98 –

What’s great about where you are is that you’re starting to define the boundaries of your own environment.  I know that sounds awfully big and serious, but…  actually, it is!

You see, when we’re born, we begin to adjust to the world we find ourselves in.  We learn the language, we learn what the people around us like and how to please them, and we learn to get along with those like us.  Then later it’s absolutely essential that we start defining ourselves in ways separate from those others.   That can appear when teenagers start listening to music that their parents can’t Continue reading

0 What to do when your parents prefer a sibling to you

Bella asks: What I’m going to say might sound stupid, but I have a strong feeling that my parents prefer my sister over me. Not that they hate me, but the way they act with her is completely different from the way they act with me. One day we are on good terms, but then a week later they are ignoring me! Any advice on what I should do???

Hi Bella –

It’s hard to talk about this issue, I know.  Parents always want to believe that they treat (and love) all their children the same, but of course at different times, they’re going to “miss the target” on that.  Some parents can’t help but prefer the kid who’s best-behaved, while others just feel more fondness for the one who’s the more troublesome!  And the affection might switch over time.

Meanwhile, it’s absolutely normal for their kids to want, and even demand, equality.  When kids are very young, they simply want everything Mom and Dad can offer at all times; then they are taught to share and act with fairness, so they expect to be treated Continue reading