Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

1 Should teens hide their relationships from their parents?

Yanni asks: I’m only 14 and I really like this guy and he likes me too and he is courting me. But my problem is, I want to be his girlfriend but my parents told me that I could only have a boyfriend if I’m already 18. But I really like him and he puts a lot of effort on his courting. Should I be his girlfriend and keep it a secret or obey my parents even if it hurts me and him?

Hi Yanni –

Oh I’m of two minds here!  On one hand, how romantic it is, to meet behind your parents’ backs like Romeo and Juliet!  But on the other, four years is a big difference when you’re only 14 (can you imagine dating someone who’s 10?!), and even R&J only tried to hide from their parents for a few days – you’re talking about trying to keep a secret for four years, if you wait till you’re 18.

And that’s where my thought really comes in:  You Continue reading

1 How teens can protect themselves in cyberspace

Chrissy M asks: How can a teenager protect himself/herself in cyberspace?

Hi Chrissy M –

This is a great question.  Online safety is such a huge issue today, and there are a number of differences between what parents can do for their children and what teenagers can do for themselves.  The biggest difference, of course, is that as a teenager, you need to make more decisions.  While a supervising parent can keep a child from going to certain sites or chatting with certain people or posting certain information – as a teenager you need to make those decisions yourself.  And that’s often very difficult (especially with peer pressure coming at you from every Continue reading

0 How to be more noticed

shae asks: My friend’s daughter told her father that I am quiet and it really hurt me, and now my daddy calls me his “quiet daughter,” and it makes me go in the bathroom and cry. What should I do when people say they do not notice me and it hurts my feelings?

Hi Shae –

Well first let me just say that a lot of our neighbors here wish I was quiet, and would like me a lot better if I were.  So being quiet isn’t necessarily such a bad thing!

And I’m curious about why it hurt you so badly that someone called you that.  What’s so bad about being quiet?  Lots of people prefer quieter people as friends, employees, coworkers, etc.  There are all those old proverbs like “Flies don’t enter a closed mouth,” telling people that silence is often a virtue.  There are SO much worse qualities!  People could say you’re mean, or you’re unlikable, or you’re a Continue reading

0 Do you believe in Magic?

Hasitha asks: Do you believe magic?

Hi Hasitha –

What a great question!  It’s a rare and special person who’d write a dog to ask if she believes in Magic, but you are just that person, and I appreciate it!

Now to give a decent answer, I need to clarify what you mean by Magic.  If you mean to ask whether I believe it when people perform magic tricks, I have to admit that, as a dog, I’m very gullible.  I believe whatever I see.  If someone shows me an empty hat and pulls a rabbit out of it, I’ll believe they just pulled that rabbit out of that hat.  But I have that same kind of surprise every day.  Handsome will walk into the house with a paper bag, and out of it comes a can, and out of that can comes my Continue reading

0 How teenagers can stop lying to their parents

Anna2 asks: My mom is pretty lenient, compared to other kids’ moms, but lately I’ve caught myself lying to her about things, in order to get away with stuff (saying I misunderstood her rules about having friends over, or saying a band I like isn’t as “inappropriate” as they really are). I’m pretty scared. What should I do?

Hi Anna2 –

You are in a very normal, common place for a teenager.  It sounds like you actually have a very good relationship with your mom, but you’re wanting to make your own choices about your own life.  For example, you know which friends are safe to have over, and you know the difference between “appropriate” and “inappropriate” song lyrics.  So why should your mom insist on making those decisions for you?

Well, there are lots of reasons why.  And the biggest of them is that she doesn’t yet know for sure that you’ll make the safest Continue reading

0 How to get rid of flab

spectro.patronam asks: I am 13 years old and I have a serious problem which is hampering my studies, my life, and my decisions. I have excessive belly fat and love handles. The rest of my body parts are fit and ok, but I have not been able to do anything about those. I know that you would suggest me to exercise, but I don’t get enough time for that. And my friends tease me. I have stopped dancing (although I am a good dancer and have already received many prizes for winning dance competitions) and I also have stopped taking part in the activities that I am good at. Can you help me by suggesting some ways to reduce my belly fat and love handles?

Hi spectro.patronam –

Your question brings up a lot of issues, but I want to primarily go after one.  You say that you don’t have time for exercise.  I disagree.  I insist that you don’t have enough time to NOT exercise!  Imagine if someone asked you if you had time enough to breathe.  Let’s see, if you didn’t breathe, you’d probably only live for a few minutes, right?  So no, you have to breathe, so you’ll have time to do the other things you want or need to do.  Well exercise is only a little less drastic.

The biggest health problem in the industrialized world today is a mix of eating unhealthy food and lack of exercise.  And as a person (or dog) progresses with junk food and non-exercise, they lose Continue reading

0 How to enjoy your teenager you’ve never known

Chebby asks: my daughter is 13 years old, and she stayed with my parents till last year when I started staying with her. I don’t have that love or closeness to her. My fear is she has noticed I’m always annoyed with her. How can I handle this and stay with her?

Hi Chebby –

I really have to commend you for your honesty.  Very few parents would be willing to admit not feeling the feelings most parents have for their kids.

Having said that, though, I’ll also say that (and I’ll bet all the teens reading this will agree), teenagers aren’t as easy for parents to fall in love with as babies, toddlers, and infants.  Where most parents are totally smitten with their kids before they start their rebellious teen years, you’re just now beginning to really know her, and that can be pretty demanding.

In fact, you’re probably right that she notices your Continue reading

0 What is high school like?

Wolves asks: What’s high school like?

Hi Wolves:

My answer won’t tell you much!  On one hand, high school is usually different from the earlier years in that students don’t have “a” teacher or class, they just move from classroom to classroom; students have a lot more freedom and responsibility (you’re expected to do your homework without any help or reminders from teachers); and there are more varieties of classes to take.

But I’ll bet that if you ask high schoolers what’s different between high school and younger grades, they won’t mention those things at all!

Here’s what high school’s really like:

–       Everyone is Continue reading

0 What should a parent do if they suspect their teenager is smoking marijuana?

flaca asks: What steps should I take if I suspect my son is on drugs such as marijuana?

Hi flaca –

It’s always terrifying to think that someone you love is doing something harmful to themselves.  And it’s always so crazy, because their doing it means that they don’t value themselves the way we (who love them so) do.  After all, how would your kids like it if they saw you cutting your fingers on purpose?!  It’d freak them out, wouldn’t it?  Yet they will be completely oblivious to your worries about them not only smoking (which is so terrible for their lungs and liver) but smoking something that affects their mind and very likely is illegal as well.

Teenagers go through lots of phases where their moods change, they’ll withdraw, they might even smell bad, and having a parent hounding them (yes, I did use that Continue reading

0 What to do when you worry people are talking about you behind your back?

prettyndsweet12 asks: Dear Shirelle, I’m always worried that, whenever I’m not at school, people are talking about me behind my back and sharing my secrets. Can you give me some tips on how to relax and trust people?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

This is a problem for just about everyone, including all us dogs.  You’ll see when we meet each other, our tails usually go between our legs, and we carefully walk around each other and sniff.  This answers two questions – first, have we met before (and do I remember something that tells me whether or not I should trust this dog), and second, will the dog let me get this close.  Trusting is hard, and although we want to trust that dog, we also fear that it might hurt us.  So we do the best we can.

Your situation is a little different, though.  You’re not so afraid of what someone’s going to do when you’re there as you are of what happens when you’re Continue reading