thelittleangel asks: There’s this guy who I’m attracted to, but I don’t know much about him. I’ve been wanting to get to know him, but also, there’s this girl who likes him and thinks I like him and she’s been telling people I like him and she’s been saying bad stuff about me behind my back. My friends think she only is saying this because she thinks I have a thing with him and she’s jealous. In addition, can I have some tips on how to deal with people gossiping about you and your business?
Hi thelittleangel –
Here’s the funny part about being a young human. You guys are so worried about people talking about you, you don’t realize that it’s actually great! She’s telling people you like him. Okay, hopefully he’ll hear about it and think “Hmmm… I hadn’t really noticed her before, but I kind of like being liked by her!”
But now, you also say she’s talking trash about you. That truly is a problem.
But you have an advantage – you know that she’s doing it. So the best thing to do with that is to confront her, ideally right in front of the friends she’s telling it to. “Hey, I hear you’ve been telling people I have fleas. Well, here are a bunch of my friends, and they’ve never seen me scratch, even once. So why are you saying all these lies?”
Can you imagine how powerful that is? My guess is that she’ll immediately stop. After all, the reason to spread that sort of gossip is to gain power, and you’ll have just taken that power right away from her!
And if a bunch of people are gossiping about you? I’d do the same thing on a bigger level. I know this sounds terrifying, but imagine what would happen if you stood up in the school lunchroom, or at an assembly, and said “People here have been spreading lies about me. And I wonder if you have the courage to admit it. Like, who was the one who started telling people I have fleas?! You don’t have the guts to admit it, do you? Because you know it’s a lie. So I’ll leave it to you all to figure out who it was who started it, but just know, they’re not only a liar, they’re a wussy coward too.”
And then sit down, and never bring it up again. You’ll be amazed how that gossip just disappears.
So I guess what I’m suggesting, in both cases, is for you to find some courage. The courage to start a conversation with that boy, and the courage to face this girl with the truth.
If you can do these things, you’ll suddenly feel a lot bigger and stronger, which will be amazing.
But don’t worry, you’ll always be thelittleangel to me!
Best of Luck!