What to do when best friends are jealous of each other’s crushes

Tayo asks: I have a guy that likes me, and I like him too. But he doesn’t want to date me (and I feel the same way). But anytime I’m with a guy or he’s with a girl, we get jealous. He said he is tired of girls’ issues. (I have a long time crush. That’s why I can’t date him.) What can we do about it?

Hi Tayo –


So it sounds to me like you’re best friends, one of those pairs of best friends that’s almost like a married couple, but without the romantic/dating part.  So even though you want a romance (with the person you have the crush on) and he says he’s tired of girl issues, you still feel he’s yours, and he feels you’re his, so you get jealous of others when they step into your beautiful “marriage.”


I’m afraid there’s no perfect answer to this one, and the truth is that the only thing that will fix it is when one of you does truly get involved with someone.  But when that happens, that will change your relationship.  Which will be a little bit sad, while of course it’ll lead to all sorts of good stuff too.


But in the meantime, you guys are going to be like me around Handsome.  I feel a bit shut out when he has girlfriends over, even if they like me, and I get VERY jealous when he pets other dogs.  But in the end, he and I are always a team.  And if he does end up marrying one of these women, I know the three of us will become a team (and will still be when a fourth or fifth comes along!).


So my best advice is to let yourselves be jealous, and make sure the other knows about it because it’s kind of fun and complimentary to know someone cares about you that much.


But don’t let it stop either of you from pursuing what you want in others.  In the long run, if you both stay supportive of each other, you’ll end up being each other’s best advocates in the dating world.  (Or, just possibly, changing your view on each other and ending up a couple yourselves… just possibly!)


Best of luck!


About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: