What to do when you love someone who doesn’t want a relationship

Danish asks: I love a girl, and she is my best friend. 9 months ago I said I like her but she told me we will meet later or I will think later. But when I deeply told her my feeling she got scared and told me that she doesn’t like me. Then everything get normal and we talked normally like before. But 8 days ago she told one of our best friends that she will never accept my proposal in future, that she only wants to be besties with me. She told one of our friends that she never wants to marry.So what should I do?

Hi Danish –



As I started to read your letter, I got a bad feeling in my stomach, that your “bestie” is rejecting you because she’s not attracted, and I know that hurts a lot.


But then I got to the end, and felt a lot better. My friend, your bestie is afraid of getting married! That’s it! It’s not about you, it’s about this issue.


So I have one major suggestion for you – get her talking about it! Find out what her reasons are for not wanting to get married. Has she seen bad stuff in her parents’ relationship? Does she love her freedom and fear someone tying her down? Perhaps she feels, as a woman Handsome dated a few years back said, that if she married she’d lose her own identity.


Now I don’t know what he answer will be, and I’m not saying she’s wrong to feel the way she does. But until you know that answer, you and I won’t be able to figure out what’s best for you to do.


So whether you’re bluntly open, “Hey you told my friend you don’t want to get married! What’s up with that?!” or sly and strategic, “So I hear a growing number of girls today don’t want to get married. Why do you think that is?”


When you find this out, THEN we can talk about what’s best to do. But not till then.


Good Luck and Let Me Know!



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