What to do when your boyfriend lies to you about his ex?

RoxchemaeAce asks: What am I gonna do with my boyfriend? I mean he had this girl friend before I met him, and as I was scrolling their messages from before, I discovered that there was something going on between them in the past but my boyfriend denies it. And now, the girl is always messaging him and telling him about what’s happening in her life and all. And it’s kinda irritating knowing that they had something, sort of feelings, before I met him. My boyfriend offered to get that girl blocked from both of our social media but I think it’s my pride who’s interfering, for I felt that it’s not the right thing to do (though I really want it). Urghhhh! It’s just so frustrating -_- though my boyfriend always says that it’s nothing, but something’s in me that keeps me suspicious. He says he loves me and that I’m his girlfriend now, but I really think and feel that there’s something, and I don’t know what that something is :’(

Hi RoxchemaeAce –



This is a tough issue for me to answer.  I don’t really know what’s going on inside him, and neither do you, so it makes this all difficult.


But two things stick out to me.  First, it does sound like his ex is paying a lot of attention to him, and looking for him to pay attention to her.  Which can be really irritating.  And second, that he’s trying to cover up something.


Now it’s perfectly possible that he is just trying to be friends with her, and that when he tells you there was nothing between them, he’s just trying to keep you happy.  This isn’t a terrible thing, though I’d prefer it if he felt okay telling you everything.


But it’s also possible that there is something going on between them, still, and he’s not telling you about that either.


So my suggestion, if you want to try it, would be to confront him and say “Look.  There’s no way there was ‘nothing between you’ before, because she was your girlfriend.  So I need you to tell me the truth about you two.  Tell me if you’re still interested in her, tell me if she’s being annoying and you’re trying to protect her, tell me if you guys are great friends… I just need to know.”


Now this idea could provide two possible bad scenarios: one that he doesn’t like being confronted like that, and two that he tells you something you don’t want to hear.  So it might be a better idea to let more time go by and see what happens.


But whichever you do, please know, I’m really sorry you have to go through this worry.  And I do hope it will get much better, soon.


All my best,




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