juicy asks: There is a guy I’m falling for, and I’m not sure if he really loves me or not. One of his friends told me that he is falling for a girl from another school, but when he comes online or meets me outside alone, he says “I love you.” I’m not sure if I’m ready to really fall for him. Is he playing me?
Hi Juicy –
As you know, there are a lot of questions on here about how to tell if someone likes/loves you or not. But you bring up a really interesting other issue. And I think the answer is pretty simple.
Some people are shy, and although they’re willing to tell someone how they feel about them, they don’t like to do it in public. They’re afraid it will be embarrassing to the other person, or even to the other people around. These are the sort of people who really hate doing “PDA’s” – public displays of affection. And there is nothing wrong with that (though of course, when it comes to me, I just love jumping on people I like, or am just meeting, and giving them big kisses everywhere!).
So my question is, is this guy one of those people? Because if so, you have every right to ask him to step “out of his comfort zone” and show and tell that he likes you in front of your friends. He might actually find that he enjoys it.
But if he’s not that way, then I have the awful question – why is he only willing to say these things online and outside school? Could it be that your friend is right, and he’s actually chasing this other girl at the same time, and so wants to keep both of you private?
So this is even a better reason to ask him to show his interest in you in public. This doesn’t mean he needs to maul you (the way I like to do to people!), but just to stand with you, maybe hold your hand or put his arm around you, and say to your friends “Yeah, I like her.”
I hope the news is good! Let me know!