0 How a teenager can help their parents with their problems

Rozaeliyana asks: Hi, Shirelle. If our parents have problems, what should we do to solve them, and not to stress out about them all the time?

Hi Rozaeliyana –

Well, clearly you are a person with a great heart.  You look at your parents, and you want to help them with their problems.  That’s wonderful.

And I have to admit, I’m of two minds on this.  (Impressive isn’t it; most dogs wouldn’t even have one opinion!)  First, I don’t know your age, but if you’re under, oh, 22, I’m inclined to say that it’s not your responsibility to solve your parents’ problems – it’s their job to help you with Continue reading

0 Should we follow our heart or our head?

cute couple asks: If a girl like me loves a boy that… I’m not sure if he loves me but he always says, “I love you” when we talk… my mind tells me to love him, but my heart says no. What shall I follow my mind or my heart?

Hi cute couple –

This is one of the oldest questions known to humankind!  Head or Heart?  Oh and there are so many great songs about it:

Fools rush in

Where wise men never go

But wise men never fall in love

So how are they to know

And

Well you couldn’t say ‘no’ tonight

If I keep my heart out of sight

And

Heart of mine

Be still

You can play with fire

But you’ll get the Continue reading

0 How can a teenager handle their need for afternoon sleep

Star asks: Hey Shirelle – Every day I come from school and eat, and then I always sleep and never get the chance to look at my books, and then I always have to go to karate classes at 15:00. What can I do to stop sleeping, or at least read first before I sleep?

Hi Star –

You wrote JUST the right expert on this issue!  Let me describe an average dog’s day to you:  Wake up, wake up owner, go outside, do business, run around, bark at a few things, come inside, eat a little, go to sleep.  Get up, bark at more things, go back to sleep.  Kiss owner goodbye for day, feel horrible and abandoned, go back to sleep.  Wake up, sniff around, chase something, go back to sleep missing owner.  Wake up, sniff around more, not minding being alone so much, bark at what sounds like dogs walking by, go back to sleep.  Wake up thinking owner’s home, realize he’s not, sniff around, chase something, eat some bit of a plant, go back to sleep.  Wake up thinking owner’s home, find out you’re right, go absolutely nuts running around in circles barking to the world your ecstasy, jump all over owner ruining his clothes, play tug of war, go lie down and take a nap.  Wake up when you hear owner pouring out your dinner, eat, beg for some of what owner’s eating, hopefully get some, go back to sleep.  Get up at the sound of your leash, run around in circles, make it really difficult for owner to put leash over your head, go for walk pulling like crazy, get home, sniff around to find what’s happened while you were gone, go to sleep.   Wake up when owner’s ready to go to bed, complain about whatever he does, go to sleep cuddled up.

Now if I’m counting right, I’m describing a dog going to sleep ten times a Continue reading

2 How to handle a parentified sibling

fk asks: I am a 16-year-old girl. My sister whom I live with found me with my boyfriend. I wasn’t doing anything wrong with him, but ever since, I think she hates me. She scolds me whenever I ask for permission to go out. I apologized, but she couldn’t accept my apologies. What am I to do?

Hi fk –

I guess I’m a little confused.  What was your sister mad about?  Did she not know you had a boyfriend?  Or is it that you don’t think you were doing anything wrong, but she did?

Either way, the odds are that she doesn’t hate you.  It sounds from your letter like your sister is trying to act as your Continue reading

0 What to do when everyone likes you, but no one’s interested in you

krishma asks: Everyone likes me, but I still feel that they are not truly interested in me. Why?

Hi Krishma –

I’m so sorry!  What an awful feeling that is!  I’ve been to parties like that – all the people come up and pat me on the head and say “Nice Doggie,” but then they walk away.  They don’t want to play with me, or even just get to know me.  It’s a really painful feeling; sometimes I think I’d prefer it if they just ignored me completely – at least I wouldn’t be so confused!

Now when you ask me why this is going on for you, I have to say, I have no idea.  When it happens to me, I suppose it’s because none of those people are really dog-lovers, or at least it’s just that they have something else their minds are on.  For example, let’s say that party was actually a meeting where people decided whether or not to go into a huge Continue reading

0 What are the best medical universities in the UK?

Cinderrella asks: Hey, I’m writing from Africa. I’m in my second-to-last year of school. I always wanted to study in one of the universities in the UK, but I can’t seem to find the right one, since all the universities I checked seem to be very expensive. I was wondering if you could help me find a university in UK, with comprehensive fees. I’m in the science field, and would like to become a medical doctor.

Hi Cinderrella –

Thanks for your question about UK universities.

I have to confess, I really don’t know much at all about UK universities.  But I did a web search, and found some websites that I think can help you.  I’d suggest you look at Continue reading

0 Can you make your parents proud with your choice of college or career?

star asks: Hi Shirelle. Sorry if I’m asking too many questions, I just don’t know who else to ask! I’m really trying hard to make my parents proud. The things I most like to do are singing, comedy and playing guitar, but in my country I cannot really go anywhere with these things. So I have to study at a school abroad, such as in the UK or US. Can you help me find a school there? I really need and want to make them proud!

Hi Star –

No problem!  There’s no reason to feel bad about asking me questions, that’s what I’m here for!  I love answering them!

So I need to look at a few things in your question separately.  First, about trying to make your parents proud.  You know, different parents feel pride for different things.  Some parents would be absolutely thrilled for their son to become a rich stockbroker, while others would be appalled and say he’d lost his Continue reading

0 How can I learn to swim

Lulu asks: Hi. All my friends can swim, and I really want to learn. I’m taking lessons, but I can’t get it, no matter how many times I try. It annoys me because my friends can swim and I get embarrassed. Please help x. thanks

Hi Lulu –

Well, I guess it’s pretty obvious, but I’m not a great swimmer; I can only dog-paddle.  But when you think about it, that name exists for a reason.  And that’s because we dogs never take swimming lessons.  We just jump in the water and do our best to propel ourselves around, which means we do something a lot like running, which is dog-paddling.

So I don’t have any great expertise on swimming for you.  What I can talk about, though, is your feelings.  Lulu, you can learn to swim.  If you have a normal human body, you can swim just like other people.  What I’m guessing is that you’re just having trouble with the Continue reading

0 Should you be friends with someone who “only wants to be friends”

Nicnak asks: Dear Shirelle, There is this boy that I like, and he is a year older than me. We have been talking a lot, and he found out I liked him. He said he likes me in a way, but doesn’t want to date a person a year younger than him. Do you think I should just be friends with him?

Hi Nicnak –

Thanks for your question.  You’re actually in a kind of funny situation, because normally boys like to date girls a year or so younger than them.  It actually makes a lot of sense, as girls mature earlier than boys, so very often a girl of, say, 15 is a better match for a boy of 16 than of a boy her own age!

But given what he’s told you, I think you’re asking the wrong question.  It’s not “should” you be just friends with him, as much as it’s Continue reading

0 How can a teenager feel comfortable about themselves?

tweety asks: l’m a 14-year-old teen and currently confused about life. How can l feel comfortable about myself and every one around me?

Hi Tweety –

Thanks for writing me about this really important issue.

Humans often feel uncomfortable about themselves.  It’s a very difficult situation, and one that drives me nuts.  You see, we dogs only feel uncomfortable about ourselves if something really odd is going on.  Like, if Handsome tries to dress me up in some outfit on Halloween, then I definitely do not want any other dogs to see me.  I know they’d never take me seriously again!  But I see people who feel all the time the way I feel when I’m wearing that stupid costume – and that’s just awful!

Now let me explain one thing about that here, though, that’s very important.  If an adult feels uncomfortable about themselves and everyone around them, the name for that is Neurotic.  It’s a difficult situation to live in, full of anxiety, and really needs help from outside – maybe a therapist or some other sort of helper.  But when a 14-year-old feels that way, I call that Continue reading