Category Archives for "Scary Stuff"

0 How does one start conversations with people or dogs?

Vaibhav asks: I can’t talk much with people, especially girls. I can talk with my friends and their parents easily, but with other people it’s hard for me. I’m scared of street dogs also. So can you talk me out of it?

Hi Vaibhav –

Regarding speaking to girls, of course it’s always harder to be “at ease” when you’re with someone where there’s more at stake.  You’re fine with your friends and their parents because you’re comfortable in the knowledge that they’ll accept you as you are, to the complete degree that you want.  But if that’s not the case, and you want and need especially to be accepted by them, and in particular ways, absolutely you’ll be stymied.  I’m great at greeting strangers in a park, but if one of them is holding a hot Italian Sub sandwich, I’m going to be a lot more nervous around them, and worry about how I’m appearing to them, so they’ll like me and want to give me… well… all of it.  And yes, Vaibhav, to a large portion of the population, girls are a hot Italian Sub sandwich!!!

My main trick for talking with people you don’t know and you want to accept you is to ask them about Continue reading

0 How to help a child who’s been frightened by scary pictures

Georgie asks: My 10-year-old daughter recently was exposed to a truly horrific image on the ‘Quizazz’ website… she really had her wits scared out of her and, despite my reassurances of ‘it’s not real,’ I don’t think I’m getting thru; how can I help her deal with her fright which is now turning into nightmares and having to have a night light on, etc?

Hi Georgie –

I just looked at Quizazz, and I think I might have seen the pictures that scared her –  Yep, those are pretty darn creepy!   I will say, though, that if it was one of those, I’m happy that it wasn’t worse!  Children are going to see faces that scare them, whether it’s in a fairy tale book or a monster movie or…  Hey do you know what movie has scared more people more than any other over time?  If you’re thinking about “Psycho” or “The Exorcist” or some slasher flicks, forget it.  The most frightening movie ever (based on a survey of psychologists years ago) is ” Continue reading

4 When is punishment child abuse, and what should one do about it

superlover123 asks: Hi, I am facing child abuse. My mother beats me sometimes and I am left with bruises and scars. I sometimes feel like running away but I know that wouldn’t solve anything. Plus I tend to yell at people a lot without thinking first, but I’m afraid to ask for anger management classes because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy. Please help!

Hi superlover123 –

Thank you so much for your question about child abuse.

Okay, first things first.  No parent has the right to beat their child to the point of bruises and scars.  I don’t know where you live, but in a lot of places that’s completely illegal, and the police can come in and stop it.  If you’re not comfortable just walking up to a police officer, or if you’re not sure about the laws where you live, and you want to write me and tell me where you live (not your address, but the country or state is enough), I can find out who you can call to stop this if possible.  I’m very glad you wrote me about it, and I’ll gladly do whatever I can to help you out.

Now as to the anger management, well of course I think it’s your mother who needs an anger management class most Continue reading

0 How to deal with kids who run away from home

Isha asks: If you were a psychologist and you noticed that a child keeps running away from home every night and you decided to help that child, what would you do, ask, or say?

Hi isha –

I’m not a psychologist, but I’m sure I’d do the same thing if I were:  I’d work very hard to befriend that child, and earn their trust, and then ask this kid what is going on that makes them want to run away every night.  Lots of kids try to run away once or twice, upset about a punishment or thinking they’re not understood, or even looking for Continue reading

1 How to talk to your parents about something that happened

Astrid asks: How do you talk to you parents about stuff that happens. Like stuff that happens online and at school. Maybe stuff that kind of scares you?

Hi Astrid –

Your question is a little bit tough to answer, because I don’t know exactly what “scary stuff” you’re referring to.  And of course I don’t know you or your parents at all.  But it really comes down to a gigantic question: Who Do You Trust?

I’m very glad (and honored) that you trusted me enough to ask me about this.  But you definitely need to find someone in your own world who you can absolutely trust, to share these things with.  Most often, parents are the best choice.  But if your parents aren’t people you can trust with this information, you might want to talk to a teacher or administrator at school, a member of the clergy, or even a therapist or counselor who can help you.

Remember, stuff happens to everybody.  Every person (and dog) in the world has experienced being in a horrible position due to something they’ve Continue reading

1 How to get rid of blackheads

mallory123 asks: How do you get rid of blackheads overnight?

Hi Mallory123 –

Well I have to admit, this question is outside my usual expertise.  Dogs don’t really get blackheads, and even if we did, they’d be covered up by our fur so no one would be bothered by them.

So I’ve done a bit of research on the subject.  And I learned a lot!  For example, I’ve always assumed that blackheads were mainly dirt that had lodged in the pores in people’s faces.  But they’re not.  Most adolescent skin problems stem from the person’s body producing excess Continue reading

0 How to deal with the sudden loss of your dog

juicy asks: I lost my dog. I love him very much, but one day I arrived at my house to find he was dead and they had already taken him away. So I don’t know what to do. It was so fast that I didn’t know anything in that moment, and couldn’t believe it.

Oh Juicy, how awful!

You’re suffering from two hurts, both of which are devastating.

First of all, I’m not being conceited at all when I say that losing a dog often hurts people more than losing the people they love most.  It’s not that they love the dog more, but that there’s something so simple and pure about that love, versus the more complex relationships they have with other humans.

There are lots of things I can recommend to you.  First of all, you were right to write me about it.  Talk to others too.  This isn’t a secret, it’s a real valid pain that you have the right to have.

Second, is there some sort of Continue reading

0 How to get parents to fight less

nikolas asks: I am 14, and I have a perfect life. I am an excellent student and so on. But this is regarding my parents. Sometimes they start fighting, yelling at each other about our current financial problems. I love my mum and dad more than anything in the whole world!! It’s just that I hate it when they’re fighting. Then after an hour or so of that fighting, I become frightened that this either won’t stop, or it will get worse, or that it will go so far that they will divorce. I talked to my parents about the divorce thing and they said, “Don’t be silly, that will never happen, we love each other.” From time to time I can be a little pessimistic about those kinds of things. This sounds a little stupid, but from time to time, after the fights, I ask one parent, “We love (the other parent), don’t we?” And they say, “Yes, why shouldn’t we?” I know that these fights end in due time but it’s just that (ahhhhh here I go all pessimistic again) my mum is mostly frustrated because my dad spends a lot. Recently he spent 30.000 dinars on the maintenance of our car (that’s about 300 euros or 270 GBP). Since we got that car we are in huge debt. I just don’t want these fights to haunt me. Please give me some advice. Thank You

Hi Nikolas –

Okay, first thing – nothing you’re saying sounds stupid, or even pessimistic.  You’re living in a difficult situation that’s affecting you a lot, and that’s simply real.  It sounds pretty clear that neither of your parents is nearly as bothered by the intensity of their arguing as you are.  That may be just because they’re used to it – some couples even like arguing a lot, they feel it keeps their relationship fresh!  But I can tell you that I’m like you: I hate it when Handsome gets upset about anything.  It makes me feel insecure about our home, and very worried that he might get equally mad at me!

I’ve already written on here about how to deal with parents who fight (see Gingko’s question about it), but it certainly sounds like you’re in no physical danger.  You’re really dealing with two big issues, and I have thoughts on both of them.

First, yes, they’re fighting, and they don’t see anything wrong with it.  That’s actually a little unfair to you.  If I bark at the neighbor’s dog all day, and the other neighbors get bothered, they call Continue reading

1 What to do if you lose both your parents

lexie jayne asks: I am a teenager who lost my parents 2 years back. I always feel that I am so left out, and I get depressed easily. Can you please help me?

Oh Lexie Jayne, I am so very very sorry!  People are programmed to believe that their parents will be around forever, at least until they grow into adulthood.  And to lose even one parent is just devastating for any teenager, but to lose both… I’m just so sorry.  If I could, I’d lay my head in your lap and look straight up into your eyes and let you know that I understand.  After all, I haven’t seen either of my parents since I was a very very young puppy, just weeks old.  But I know that your pain is far worse than mine.

Now let me say one thing here, about your question.  All teenagers often feel left out, and get depressed.  Even if it doesn’t look that way when you see them at school or around town.  I mean it, all of them do.  It’s just that you have a far better Continue reading

0 How should teenagers deal with “inappropriate” websites?

moonfur asks: My best friend isn’t allowed to talk to me anymore because I found an inappropriate website and told her about it, and then continued to go on it, and her mum found out about it — so my bff was forced to say that I showed it to her. We are like sisters! How do I survive this?

Hi moonfur –

Wow, thanks for asking such an open question.

What hits me the most about it is one word:  “inappropriate.”  I want you to think a minute about what that word means, because everything I say will be about that.

“Inappropriate” is a word that people use very freely, and often… well… inappropriately!  It means something that’s not suitable for a particular occasion:  It’s appropriate to yell out “Goooooooooal!” at a World Cup match, but not at a church service.  It’s appropriate to laugh loudly when a movie comedian falls down, but not when your teacher does.  It’s appropriate for…  well, you get the idea.  But I hear lots of people say something’s “inappropriate” simply because they don’t like it!  “It’s inappropriate for you to point out that I was lying,” for example.

So, given that, what makes the website you saw “inappropriate?”  Was it something only Continue reading