Category Archives for "Relationships"

0 How to find true love

mhaneva asks: How will you find a true love?

Hi mhaneva –

The way you phrase your question, it sounds like you’re asking how I will find true love.  Oh mhaneva, I found Handsome, and I found a wonderful boyfriend too, an Akita-Chow mix named Kuma, and between those two, I’ve got the truest loves I could ever hope for.

But I like to think of your question in a different way:  How can anyone find true love?  Now I have lots of questions and answers on the AskShirelle website about when and how to get girlfriends and boyfriends, but you’re asking something else – how to find Love.

Well, the answer is simple, and very very difficult.  You find Love in your own heart.  But that can take some Continue reading

0 Should a redhead dye her hair to be liked?

ED104 asks: I have red hair and really want a boyfriend, but no guys like me. I sometimes get bullied about my hair colour, and everyone is so judgmental. I’m thinking of dying my hair darker for a change, but also to get a boyfriend. But I don’t know if I should or not.

Hi ED104 –

Although we dogs aren’t nearly as interested in looks as we are in smells and sounds, I understand your desire to look more beautiful.  It’s clear to me that when I’m dirty and covered in burrs and smells, most people don’t want to pet me, and even Handsome just does enough that it’s clear he’s just letting me know he still likes me.  But when I’m clean and brushed and not so smelly, so many more people want to hug and pet me, and kiss my nose and all.  You just want to be more attractive, and that makes total sense.

But you bring up a really important other issue .  It sounds like you’re saying that your red hair means you’re not Continue reading

0 What should you do if your boyfriend cheats on you?

batha asks: I need advice about my boyfriend. I love him but he’s having an affair. What can I do?

Hi batha –

Oh what a horrible feeling you must be having!  It’s just awful to be cheated on!  I’ve never experienced it exactly – just felt very jealous when Handsome pets other dogs – but when I’ve seen others go through it, it looks awful.

So you have a pretty simple question to ask, and it’s only yourself you’re asking:  What can you put up with?  Is it okay with you that he’s having an affair?  And if he promised to stop it and not have another one, would you Continue reading

0 How can a teenager avoid dating?

Pgirl asks: I’m 14 years old. Next year I will go to high school. I hear that, in the school that I want to go to, girls have boyfriends. I know that’s common, but I’m afraid that that will inspire me to want to have a boyfriend. Also, when girls go home after school, boys often stand in front of the school to ask girls out, and I don’t want this happen to me. What do you suggest for me? Please help me, or a boy might ask me to be his girl friend 🙁

Hi Pgirl –

You know, one of the values I really push is that everyone should have the right to know what they want, and no one else has the right to tell them what to want.  My Pack Members have the right to whatever religion they choose, whatever they like to eat, to be attracted to whomever they like – hey you even have the right to like CATS, which mystifies me completely!  So I know that some of our readers will be absolutely dumbstruck by your Continue reading

0 Should one pursue a relationship that shows no hope of success?

tessa asks: I like this guy and he’s moving across the country. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me. I’m not sure what to do. I think he knows I like him but I’m not sure. I don’t know if I should just try to forget about him or ask him out. My friend also offered to try to get us together. What should I do?

Hi tessa –

Okay, you’ve probably read enough of my posts here to know that I usually try to see both sides of an issue, and point out different ways of going about things.  This answer will be an exception to that.

Give Continue reading

0 How to handle a parent who can’t trust your boyfriend

Julia asks: If you have a friend that tells your mother “good morning” and everything but she doesn’t reply, and then says that he is disrespectful and has no manners… what do you do about that?

Hi Julia –

It sounds to me like your mother has a major case of “I Don’t Like That Boy!” going on.  It could be for many reasons, and the most likely one is just because he’s a boy and he’s hanging around you!

When Handsome was a teenager, he had a girlfriend whose father just complained and complained about him.  When he girl finally confronted him and made him admit that Handsome was a perfectly nice enough boy, the father told the truth, “All right, yes he is.  But he’s still a Continue reading

1 What are the constraints of becoming pregnant at an early age?

Sparkle asks: what are the constraints of becoming pregnant at an early age?

Hi Sparkle –

There are really two answers to your question.  The first is what the constraints are of becoming pregnant at any age.

I was spayed when I was six months old, so have no experience with pregnancy.  But from what I hear, it’s the most intense experience anyone ever goes through.  Your body changes in countless ways – your hormones go wild (which is of course happening in your teen years anyway, so just figure it’s more of what you’ve been already experiencing!).   Your belly of course swells to many times its normal size.  The pregnancy cuts into pretty much all your activities, from athletic physical ones (of course) to social and academic ones (you’ll need lots of extra sleep, crave odd foods, have to avoid lots of your favorite foods, throw up lots, and have to pee ALL THE TIME since your bladder is being sat on by the Continue reading

1 What are the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook for teenagers?

tango asks: What are some advantages and disadvantages of Facebook for high schoolers?

Hi tango –

Facebook is, I suppose, the most profound change in humans’ social world of the last decade.  I don’t even know what would come in second place!  It has exploded in popularity and importance so quickly that most of the world has been struggling to keep up with it – including trying to grasp what its advantages and disadvantages are.  Besides its original intent to create a place for friends to meet online, it has contributed to the fall of empires, to countless reunions of lost contacts, and – yes – to millions of acts of thoughtlessness and cruelty.

I’m only a dog and don’t have nearly the imagination or wisdom to know all the advantages or disadvantages inherent in Facebook.  But there are a few things I do know, and they all have Continue reading

0 Why do teenagers feel so isolated

ti-f asks: I’m 12 and in sixth grade, and I know most kids don’t have any close friends – I’m actually one of them. Why do I feel so isolated?

Hi ti-f –

There is just about nothing more painful than not having friends.  Friends are as important to most people (and dogs) as health or family.  So it makes total sense to me that you’d feel bad about not having any close friends.  But while it’s always true that we want good pals, you’re at an especially vulnerable age, ti-f.  This is a time when your whole world is changing – inside you and around you – and that can make anyone feel very

Continue reading

1 Should teens hide their relationships from their parents?

Yanni asks: I’m only 14 and I really like this guy and he likes me too and he is courting me. But my problem is, I want to be his girlfriend but my parents told me that I could only have a boyfriend if I’m already 18. But I really like him and he puts a lot of effort on his courting. Should I be his girlfriend and keep it a secret or obey my parents even if it hurts me and him?

Hi Yanni –

Oh I’m of two minds here!  On one hand, how romantic it is, to meet behind your parents’ backs like Romeo and Juliet!  But on the other, four years is a big difference when you’re only 14 (can you imagine dating someone who’s 10?!), and even R&J only tried to hide from their parents for a few days – you’re talking about trying to keep a secret for four years, if you wait till you’re 18.

And that’s where my thought really comes in:  You Continue reading