Category Archives for "Relationships"

0 Should you date a player?

Mandhie asks: There is this guy in my school who is in the same year as me. The first day I got to the school and saw him, I had a crush on him – and I think he did too, because I noticed him staring at me. Because he is so cute, handsome, tall, and has all the features of a good-looking guy, a lot of girls like him. So far, he’s dated like four of my friends that I know; but since he saw me, he has been trying to ignore his current girlfriend (and my year group teases us both). At times, he smiles to me when they tease us, but I feel too shy to return a smile because I don’t want anything to happen between his current girlfriend and me. Now, apparently, his current girlfriend is dating another guy in the school, so my crush is happy about it and is kind of trying to get into my way, but I don’t like that idea. Though I like him, I don’t like the fact that he has dated a lot of girls and wants to date me too, because I’m not the kind of girl who doesn’t care when they are dumped in a relationship. Also, I have never dated before and have no experience. What should I do?

Hi Mandhie –

Wow, this is a great story!  Handsome likes to watch all these complex shows on TV like the one about the big old house in England, or the one about the ad agency, and this sounds like them!

And in one of those shows, you would be the heroine.

Okay, first of all, as I’ve said on here a lot, there is nothing wrong with Continue reading

0 How to treat friends who aren’t telling you everything

fourcats asks: I sent you a question about ignorance from friends, and I did what you told me, but they say there is no reason for their distance. I am scared that I will fall in trouble for a thing that I haven’t done. I saw those friends talking with our teacher about a problem, and I think that might be the reason for their behavior. How can I know whether this is my mistake or a misunderstanding about me? And how can I be friends with them again?

Hi four cats –

I am only a dog.  I have no way of knowing what your friends are thinking or feeling, or what anyone said to your teacher.

But here’s the funny thing.  At least for right now, neither do you.

Yep, that’s what I said.  You have no idea of what’s going on.  Maybe your friends are blaming you for something horrible that someone else did.  Or maybe not.  Maybe you’re in huge trouble with the teacher.  Or maybe not.  Maybe your friends have actively decided to ignore you because they are furious with you.

Or maybe not.

So here’s the weird thing about situations like this:  You can Continue reading

0 How to know how to take others’ judgments on your appearance

prettyndsweet12 asks: I’ve been having insecurity issues. I feel like I’m fat, but my mom says I’m not. Is she just saying that because she’s my mom or does she mean it? Also a lot of the kids call me ugly. I don’t think I am, but I am also wondering, if I’m pretty, why don’t boys like me?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

The whole issue of when someone is “fat” or not is a really tough one.  Although health experts have ideals they push, saying that a person who’s a certain height should weigh a certain amount, those numbers are never perfect.  Some people have heavier density in their bodies – I don’t know what it is exactly; their bones weigh more than other people’s, or their organs do.  Something like that.

Then, you get the issue that different people have different ideas of what a body should look like (especially female bodies).  Probably no woman in the last century has been so idealized as Marilyn Monroe.  But her figure would be considered “fat” by a lot of people today.  And those people often idolize models who are unhealthily underweight (or who aren’t, but their photographs are altered to make them look that way!).

Now, to add to my confusion, you ask me if your mother is telling you the truth or not.  My friend, I have absolutely no idea!  Maybe your friends are being purposely mean and actually think you look fine.  Maybe they have unrealistic ideas of what your body should look like.  Maybe your mother loves you so much that she’ll always see you as perfect no matter what.  Or maybe, yes, she’s lying to make you feel better.  I have no way of knowing.

What I do know, however, is one thing:  The Continue reading

0 What to do when a sibling gets you in trouble by lying

AudreyKimberly146 asks: Hi, I’m 11 years old and I’m from Indonesia. I love my family, but sometimes they are so annoying. Once I dropped a phone because of my big sis nudging me. She said “sorry” to me, but when Mom asked who dropped the phone, she pointed at me. I explained that my big sis nudged me, but I also told Mom that she has said sorry! Then she yelled at me saying that she never said that and that saying so was an evil thing! And added, “how could you dare blaming your own big sister?” in a mad voice. So, my Mom was angry at me because I’d dropped the phone and blamed my sister! I don’t know what to say to my big sis! Please help me!

Hi AudreyKimberly146 –

Wow this is a really tough and rotten situation you’re in!  Tough because it’s hard to know what to do, and rotten because it’s totally unfair, and based in what sounds like a lie!

If I understand correctly, there’s nothing happening now about this, right?  In other words, you’re not still in trouble or anything?  Because if so, that means you have the advantage of time.  There’s nothing you need to rush into.

And if that’s the case, then here’s what I think would be a good idea.  Go up to your Continue reading

0 Am I good enough for my crush?

Cookie Vidal asks: What should I do if my friends always make fun of me because I have a huge crush on this guy I met at camp over the summer? Also they always call me fat and say that I have a longa (which is Spanish for huge stomach), and it hurts but I still take it as a joke. At the same time I don’t want to leave them, because if I leave one they’ll all go following her. I want to know how to tell them to stop making fun of me just because this guy pops up in my head everyday! I want to just move on (Oh, I forgot to mention that he is extremely HOT!).

Hi Cookie Vidal –

The issue of friends making fun of a friend is a tough one to comment on, because I don’t know a lot about it.  Is the group being really mean and insensitive, ganging up on one like a wild dog pack attacking an injured member?  Or is the person just highly sensitive, and not good at joking in the way they like to joke?  I’ve dealt with both in previous questions, so I’m going to send you both my Continue reading

0 How to get someone to trust you after you’ve lied to them

Destined962013 asks: Me and my boyfriend have been together for over seven months now. About four months ago, I lied to him about something very serious. I really had no reason to lie to him in the first place, but I did. The problem is that, since then, I have been completely truthful about everything, but he doesn’t believe me. I was wondering if you know any way for me to show him that I really am not lying to him now.

Hi Destined962013 –

Quick answer:  No.  There is no way to prove you’re not a liar.  There’s a rule in logic that says “One cannot prove a negative.”  What it means is, it’s impossible to prove that something is not the case.  You can only prove that something is the case.

For example, let’s say you go home, and you see that your cat was bitten by someone this morning.  Can I prove that I wasn’t the one who Continue reading

0 How to get your husband to defend you to his parents

Rushme asks: I have been married for two years. My husband works 200 kilometers away, and comes back here every weekend. We love each other very much. But his father doesn’t want me to move to where he works (in hopes that his son will move back here), and he is obedient to his father and so keeps me here. I’m very lonely, especially as my mother-in-law won’t converse with me (though my father-in-law is more normal). I want to stay with my HUSBAND, but this loneliness makes me sometimes want to leave all of them. What can I do?

Hi Rushme –

Every dog understands what it’s like to be absolutely crazy about a human who has to be away all the time for work.  I go through what you’re feeling every day, when Handsome leaves (and since dogs experience time as seven-times-human-time, a day for me is pretty equivalent to a week for you!).

For us dogs, there’s really nothing we can do to change this, though we try to get our humans to stay home by opening our eyes really widely and cocking our head and whining, so they feel as guilty as possible when they go!

But humans should have more Continue reading

0 What to do when you feel everyone hates you

bella asks: I hate my life! Everyone around me hates me! I don’t know how to respond to some questions, and so sometimes I answer in a rude way, even though I don’t mean to be rude.

Hi bella –

I know how you feel.

We dogs never hate our lives (even when we’re locked in cages, treated horribly, hurt, etc., we just love being alive; it’s part of being a dog), but I’ve seen so many humans who feel just the way you’re describing.  It’s really sad and unfair.  I’m sorry you feel that way.

I also know what it’s like to feel like everyone hates me, and that is based on experience.  Have you ever been put in a Continue reading

0 What is Love?

sazuna45 asks: What is your definition of love?

Hi sazuna45 –

Your question is so simple, yet it’s been asked and answered for milennia.  If you look up famous quotes about Love, you’ll see thousands of great thoughts.   Some of the best, I think, come from:

Rumi: “This is Love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of Continue reading

0 What to do when a friend suddenly stops contacting you

prettyndsweet12 asks: My friend recently moved and I really miss her. She’s like a second mom to me. The only contact that I have with her now is through social network chatting. But I haven’t heard from her in the past three days, and I’m worried and sad because I really want her to text me back. What should I do?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Your question “rang a bell” in my mind, and I was sure I’d answered one like it recently.  Imagine my surprise when I found that I had – and it was to you!  So I know we’ve already talked about missing your friend.   I’m guessing that the really tough issue is what to do when you don’t hear from her.

Well, my friend, I relate!  Every day, Handsome leaves me locked up in our Continue reading