Category Archives for "Parenting"

0 How to find a website for 12-year-olds

zainacute asks: These days I feel so bored. Can you help me to find a website for 12-year-olds?

Hi zainacute –

Well, my friend, you are ON a website for 12-year-olds!  You’re just the right age for AskShirelle.com.  (Of course, so is just about everyone else who’s old enough to read it!).

There are just countless websites out there for young people.  The answer would be for you to look for what interests you.  If you like basketball, find sites about that.  If you like old Frankenstein movies, find sites about that.  If you like music, find sites about your favorite singers.

The only warning I want to put is that there are lots of sites out there that are not for Continue reading

0 How to teach a young child to read

Natasha asks: How can I get a 4-year-old to read?

Hi Natasha –

Most children don’t learn to read quite that young.  But my friend Handsome did.  So the one suggestion I can give you is what happened to him.  It was very simple.

First, when he was very very young, less than two years old, he had a babysitter who started teaching him the alphabet.  She taught him to sing it, and would show him the letters.  So by the time he was less than three, he knew the alphabet perfectly.

Then something happened that no one expected.  You see, Handsome always loved Continue reading

0 What to do about asthma?

shortiee asks: If I have an asthma attack, what should I do? And why did my asthma begin when I started to be a teenager?

Hi shortiee –

All mammals breathe, and depend on breathing throughout our lives.  We dogs count on it even more than you people, as we breathe to regulate our temperature, panting while you folks sweat!  So there’s hardly anything I can imagine that’s as scary as the idea of an asthma attack, and the sudden inability to fully breathe.

Now as I say a lot on here, I’m no doctor.  They don’t let dogs into medical school.  But here’s a good website that will tell you a lot about asthma and how to Continue reading

4 Why would a child be bored?

Marussia asks: What should be done about a 6-year old boy (my son) who says he is often bored? Yesterday we were having a walk at a place where two his peers were playing football. My son didn’t approach them till one of their mothers invited him to take part in the game. My husband says we shouldn’t force him to play with other kids or invent some games for him – he is big enough to realize that if he wants to have fun he should do it himself. What do you think?

Hi Marussia –

When kids say they’re bored, it usually means one of two things.  First, that there’s just not anything around that’s interesting to them.  While an adult might just relish the thrill of seeing all five hours of Wagner’s opera “Gotterdammerung,” it’s not something I’d recommend foisting on an eight-year-old!

But the other reason is that there’s something going on inside the kid that’s keeping them from embracing life as they should.  You see, we dogs are a lot like young kids.  And if I walk into a new environment, my nose is sniffing everything, my ears are perked up, I’m looking around…  I might be a little nervous or scared, but I’m sure not Continue reading

0 What to do when someone threatens suicide

pinkflower61 asks: There is a girl in my class who mostly stays alone and is very sensitive. Once I talked to her – she appeared to be sad and she started talking about how she hates her life and thinks of suicide. I don’t know what to do about her – or should I do nothing because it is something usual for teens?

Hi pinkflower61 –

You’re right that it’s very common for teenagers to think about hurting or even killing themselves, without ever doing it.  But it’s also way too common that teens do hurt themselves, or at least try to.

The fact that you talked with this girl just shows that you’re great.  So many kids ignore the quiet loners.  You may well be the best friend she has in the school, even though you barely know her.  So the single best thing you can do to help her through this time is… just chat with her again.  Just be a friend.  I don’t mean that you have to make her your total responsibility, but what if you had lunch with her one day?  What if you introduced her to your other friends?  What if you even invited her to go out with some other kids some night?  This could truly change her Continue reading

0 Why do some people like math?

danashafik123 asks: Why do lots of people like math?

Hi danashafik123 –

You know it’s funny, since you also recently wrote me asking about how to be less sensitive.  My friend Handsome is a very very sensitive guy – worries about everybody, cries at movies, all that.  And that’s what he uses in his work all day.  So you know what he really looks forward to every month?  Balancing his Continue reading

0 How to tell your parents you’re gay

Athny asks: I recently found out I was gay. How do I explain it to my parents?

Hi Athny –

There are just about as many answers to your question as there are families.  I’ll go over some thoughts, but in the end, the answer is going to be to do what’s best for you and them.

It’s a normal rite-of-passage for just about everyone, that they have to tell their parents something they’re pretty sure those parents don’t want to hear.  Maybe it’s that you’re moving out, or you’re dating someone they don’t like, or getting married, or even voting a different way than they do.  But few of these carry as much tension as when someone tells their parents that their sexual Continue reading

0 How can I be less sensitive

danashafik123 asks: How can I be less sensitive?

Hi danashafik123 –

You know, it’s a funny thing, I think we all wish for that some times.  We play a rough sport, and everyone else is fine with falling and being jumped on, but we find it hard because we feel more pain than the others (or because we can’t retaliate!  Dogs do not like dodgeball!!!).  Or something sad or hurtful happens to us, and we wish we didn’t feel so awful.  Maybe our friends or family are even telling us “Get over it!  Move on!” and we just can’t.

And so we wish we were less sensitive.

Now some people are too physically sensitive.  They might have something called Sensory Integrative Disorder, or even a form of Continue reading

1 How to deal with violent family members

katie1234 asks: I’m a 15 year old girl, with no violent past, who all my friends know as a very peaceful person, accused of beating up my step mum and sister. I had a fight with both of them the night before and in the morning was attacked by my older sister (who has done this many times before and both parents know this) who got angry about another argument. She then called my step mum (who also has been in many physical fights with this same sister where police and social services had to come round multiple times) up to say that I attacked her. My step mum came back home and immediately took my purse. I struggled and took it off her, which I admit wasn’t the best thing to do, but then she threw me on the floor and wrestled me for it, hurting me. I pushed her off me time and time again. She eventually got it, sat on it and said she was farting on it (she’s 41). I took it back off her and she said, “fine take your stupid purse” and threw it at me. I of course rushed out of the house as soon as possible, but just when I got to the door and opened it she said “no you’re not getting away with this,” and yanked my hair up then threw me to the wall, which left me dizzy on the floor for about two minutes. I was so scared I rushed out to the road opposite a school (this was just before I left for my school), where little children were walking, crying, hair all messy and trying to put the shoes my step mum threw at me on in the middle of the street. The side of my head hurt for the rest of the day. However, this was not the most hurtful thing in the situation. The worst thing was coming home to my father and stepsister, who believed I attacked both my step mum and my sister, even though both were much stronger and angrier than me. I was punished of course but the worst thing is my dad believing I was beating them – especially when I thought he knew me as a person. Forgetting all the manipulation and psychological abuse my sister and I have suffered from her in the past, my step mum has broken my close relationship with my dad and my sister. Someone who I was also very close to has hurt me, and I don’t know if I can trust her again. What can I do?

Hi katie1234 –

There is so much here that I don’t really know where to start.

First of all, I don’t know where you live, but in many places, your stepmother could be arrested for this – even if they say you were the instigator, you’re still only 15 and she’s not supposed to get into fights with you.

Second, there’s something very odd in your story about your Continue reading

0 Is a spouse responsible for their spouse’s behaviors?

Marussia asks: I’ve read recently that if I change my husband will change as well. We’ve got a 6-year old son, and for about a year my husband has been drinking beer and stronger alcohol. Is the problem in me? In my attitude towards him? Sometimes we quarrel and he can shout at me, then he calms down and says he loves me.

Hi Marussia –

This is SUCH a complex question!  It’s kind of like asking how much parents determine the personality of their kids.  The answer is always yes, but never 100%.

My friend Handsome works with a lot of couples.  And every time he begins to think someone’s issues are all because of their spouse, he’s proven wrong.  And every time he thinks they’re all for other reasons, he’s proven wrong too.

But that doesn’t help you any.  You’re wondering why your husband Continue reading