Category Archives for "Life Skills"

2 How to deal with a judgmental parent

Sarah asks: I feel like I can’t trust or talk to anybody, because I always feel judged, especially by my mom. She always judges me on everything I do, and keeps stuff from me instead of talking to me about it. I also hate it when she’s home, and sometimes I fear her. I can’t be myself around her, and its also affecting me with other people because I am so anti-social and have low self-esteem. I really want to change how I interact with people but I feel like she’s holding me back from the world. Please give me some advice.

Hi Sarah –

Oh I hate hearing things like this.  Parents almost always do what they think is best for their kids, but sometimes they make this gigantic mistake, of overjudging, overprotecting, and so stifling them.

The first word of advice I can give you is long-term, which is to just Continue reading

0 Why would a hard-working teenager lack motivation?

Max asks: At home, I do lots of work but when it comes going out, I feel like not going. I go to college, and if I have to go somewhere, I can go for sure, but when I am home, no matter how important the matter is, I don’t feel like going. Is this laziness, or is something wrong with me?!

Hi Max –

Yes, there’s something wrong with you.  It’s your age!  You’re a college-age boy, and although we usually have this image of guys that age being aggressive, driven, excited, and very social, the truth is that this is a time when males often need to retreat for a while.

Am I correct in guessing that you’re also having some trouble making decisions these days?  That the world is expecting you to pick your major, pick your top interests, find a spouse… and you’re not quite able to choose between eating a carrot and an Continue reading

0 How to deal with teenage drinking or alcoholism

Chandu asks: How to correct an alcoholic teenager?

Hi Chandu –

This is a great question, but before I answer at all, I want to clarify something – the word “alcoholic.”

Alcoholism is a terrible disease, an addiction in which the sufferer is unable, or nearly unable, to resist the urge to drink, no matter how bad the consequences are.  It’s much more than just a desire; it involves the person’s brain being literally re-wired, in a way that can never be undone, even after decades of sobriety.

Lots of teenagers drink, and lots drink way more than is remotely healthy for them or those around them, without being Continue reading

0 How to get teenagers in a therapy group to talk

neli1 asks: I am a student social worker. I have a therapeutic group with teenagers who have behavioral problems. We are currently having our third session and now getting to the purpose of the group. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to talk about!! Can you help?

Hi neli1 –

I don’t know the subject of your group, but from what I’ve heard about such things, the goal of most therapy groups is to get the members to talk freely among themselves, without prodding from the leader.

It makes sense that it’s too early now for that to have happened, but I think what you need to look for is ideas of ways to move closer to that.  Here are a few that might help.

1)    Create a Continue reading

0 Why can one still get depressed when they’re doing what they love?

Athny asks: I have been completely obsessed with Anime. I watch it all the time, and I mean All the time. But I sometimes get bored with it, and Life. I go to Karaoke, but I just sing Anime songs. I even have my own Hatsune Miku Costume. But I keep getting depressed half the time and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

Hi Athny –

You seem to be confusing two very different issues, Athny.  It’s absolutely fantastic to love something, even to the point of obsession.  Lots of people never find something they love that much.  Your love of Anime might well last your whole life, and influence all sorts of aspects of your world as you go.

For example, when Handsome was young, he developed a great love of the old Continue reading

0 How can one move past bad memories?

prettyndsweet12 asks: Sometimes I tend to think about the bad and embarrassing things that have happened to me in the past, and it makes me sad and sometimes mad. How can I keep myself from thinking about my past and focus more on my present and future?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

That’s a great question.  People always tell us to move on past the bad things in our pasts, and live life in the present.  But how can we do that when those bad memories just won’t let us go?!

Well, here’s the deal – those memories are there for a very good Continue reading

0 How to get in shape quickly

Sundershiner asks: I’m really overweight, and really upset I’ve let myself get this way. At school all my classmates look at me funny, and I always feel insecure. I am confident in everything else other than my stomach. I don’t have any problems, and I’m occasionally active! I just love to eat! I’ve tried to be healthy, or try to do something active but I just end up not doing it and having some type of food in front of me! So what could I do to get healthy fast? Run, swim, walk, cardio twister, the bike, field hockey practice in my yard? Also, I will be missing a week worth of field hockey practice! My coach said we all really need to get in shape or it will be a nightmare. I know because I did it last year. I just want to be prepared this time! What should I do?

Hi sundershiner –

If I’m understanding your question right, your field hockey will start soon, and you want to get into great shape by then.  Well, it’s impossible to change completely in that time.  But what you can do is start preparing now, to be ready for the practices to get you into better shape.

All the exercises you ask about are great.  And my advice would be to not overdo any of them.  Maybe go Continue reading

6 What are some reasons to become a soldier?

abodunde1987 asks: Can you give me some reasons why I should be a soldier?

Hi abodunde1987 –

Being a member of the military is one of the most difficult, strenuous, and dangerous jobs anyone can choose.  My first answer to your question would be that the biggest reason to become a soldier is because you passionately believe in the cause you’d be fighting for.  For example, if your country has been attacked, you might feel very strongly that you want to be a part of the force that Continue reading

0 How can a dog help anyone by giving advice?

Rebecca asks: You’re just a dog! How can you ever help me? My problems are getting worser n worser! But thanks anyway, for your concern, and for being on my side. I am happy just for that.

Hi rebecca –

I have one very important answer for you:  You’re right.  I can’t help you a bit.  I can’t come out there and bite the people who are mean to you, and I can’t lay my head on your lap so you can hold me while you cry.  And I certainly can’t change anyone else’s behavior.

But there is one thing I can do, and that’s what I love to do more than anything else:  I can Continue reading

0 What to do if a popular boy is attracted to you

lillyanna asks: I recently heard that the most popular boy in my village has a crush on me. This came as a surprise because I am not all that popular and taught he did not know who I was. What should I do?

Hi lillyanna –

Oh I wonder how many of our readers are yelling at you as they read this, “JUMP ON HIM, SILLY!”  And of course, I agree, but I jump on everybody, so I’m not a good role model in that!

My big question is what you Continue reading