Category Archives for "Life Skills"

0 How to treat someone you like who gives mixed signals

Mandhie Asks: There’s a boy at school I like and I know he likes me (and lots of other people can see it too), but he still won’t say it to me, and keeps dating other girls. My feelings toward him are sort of fading away – I can’t waste my precious teenage years loving someone who isn’t ready. But I am still hurt or jealous when I see him with a girl. I feel like giving up but I don’t want to yet. What should I do? Follow my heart or do what is right?

Hi Mandhie –

I think the solution is in your question, but I think your question is wrong!  You ask whether you should do what’s right or follow your heart.  But I’m not sure you know what either of those would dictate.  “What’s right” might be to be careful, to not get involved with a boy who’s going out with lots of girls, to wait for him to come to you, or to go right up to him and tell him you want him to forget those other girls and be your boyfriend.  Your heart might tell you to run away and never look at him again, to throw yourself at him, to send him secret anonymous love notes… or all of those at the same time!

I would argue, in a situation like this, that you shouldn’t do anything that you don’t believe is right, and that you should follow your heart.  In other words, the answer to your question would be “Do both, or Continue reading

0 How to best react to failure

dumboo asks: What should be our reaction if we fail in achieving something?

Hi dumboo –

There are lots and lots of ways to react when one fails at something.  A few I see often are “Oh No!  I give up!  This is impossible!” and “I don’t believe this!” and “God hates me!” and “I suck!” and “Well I know not to try that again!”

Some others aren’t so verbal.  They might involve bursting into tears, banging one’s head against a wall, or kicking someone.

Another is to immediately try doing what Continue reading

1 Should people stay friends after breaking up

sazuna45 asks: When people date and they break up, they stop talking and they get awkward and they ignore and sometimes even hate, each other. I find that very sad. When best friends start dating and they break up, they stop being friends, they cant even look each other the same way after all that. Don’t you find that sad? Do you think its normal for people to act that way? But most importantly, is it okay if past lovers stay friends? Do you think they can remain friends?

Hi sazuna45 –

Your timing is perfect.

You see, Handsome’s had a lot of girlfriends over the years.  I always like them at first, but some weren’t so crazy about me, so I learned to stay away from them (and eventually, so did Handsome!).  But of course, at least at the beginning, he was nuts about all of them.

Now most of the time, when they broke up, it was the way you describe.  Not necessarily that he hated her or she hated him, but they learned that they were happier keeping some distance from each other.

I guess I both understand and don’t Continue reading

0 How to publish a magazine

kavin24 asks: Some schoolmates and I are in an international school project called World Link Society. The topic they have given to our school is natural disasters. So this year we are planning to publish a magazine and a CD. But for now it’s just an idea. Can you give us some tips on it? The CD is ok, but we really need to know all about the magazine. Can you send some suggestions as soon as possible? If you can do it right now, you’ll be the most intelligent dog in the world!

Hi kavin24 –
Thanks for your question about the magazine.  I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get to it the day you sent it to me – especially since I guess that makes another dog more intelligent than me (Darn that Lassie!).

The big deal with the magazine idea is whether you intend for it to be one issue or an ongoing magazine.  One issue is WAY Continue reading

1 How to handle a spoiled child

mouse asks: My cousin’s 9-year-old sister is too stubborn. She doesn’t even regret that she has failed so many papers, she doesn’t listen to her mom or dad, and she talks rudely. She believes that no one loves her, although her parents get her everything – she just seems to follow something in her mind. Please help!

Hi mouse –

I have to admit, I’m a bit confused about this girl!  First of all, what sort of papers is a nine-year-old assigned to write?  Second, why are her parents giving her ‘everything,’ when she doesn’t listen to them?  And third, does she believe that no one loves her because… no one does?  I’ll try to answer your question, but this is tough material.

It sounds to me like this girl has some real issues with her parents.  They’re giving her lots of stuff, but not giving her the boundaries she needs.  She sounds confused and unsure of what to do, and VERY unhappy about it.

You see, it’s a kid’s job to see what they can Continue reading

0 What happens when we start following others?

dumboo asks: What will happen if we start following others?

Hi dumboo –

When we are young, following others is pretty much all we do.

Who do I mean by “we?”  Well, we dogs definitely follow our mothers and siblings when we’re very young, and when we get interested in a human, we’ll follow you everywhere, all day long!  Have you ever watched ducklings?  They swim in a nearly perfect line behind their mothers when in water, and walk right behind her as well on land.

And you humans?  When you are babies, your primary focus is on your caregivers – whether your parents or someone else – and trying to learn how to be like them.  That’s how humans learn to walk and talk, probably the two most Continue reading

1 Is it wrong to be jealous of people who still have their parents?

Salvatore asks: As you know, my father died a few months ago. Now, whenever my friends talk about their dads, I feel that something is burning inside me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I think it may be jealousy. Please tell me how to overcome this feeling.

Hi Salvatore –

I have written about jealousy a few times.  Usually it’s about romantic jealousy, which can be anything from heartbreaking to fun to, as we know, murderous!

But the jealousy you talk about is something very different.  What happened to your father – and to you and the rest of your family – is absolutely unfair.  There’s nothing you have done – or could have done – to deserve this pain.  And when you hear other kids talk about their fathers, there’s no way it won’t hurt.

Though, of course, unless they’re purposely trying to make you feel bad, this isn’t their Continue reading

0 What to do when a sibling lies about you

Cookie Vidal asks: I’m 12 and my brother is 17, and he always blames me for things that I didn’t do, like putting bones in the sink. I’m getting sick and tired of him blaming me, so how do I make him stop?

Hi Cookie Vidal –
Remember a while back, when you asked me about your brother’s airheaded irresponsibility, and I said to accept it as a phase, and not feel that he’s a bad guy in any way?  Well, I’m starting to change my opinion.

You see, we dogs don’t lie.  It’s not that we’re too moral (we’re NOT!); it’s that we simply can’t.  Our brains don’t work that way.  Because of this, there’s a lot of confusion in our dealings with humans.

The most common example is when kids play fetch with us, and tease us by pretending to throw the ball and not actually letting go of it.  We run to chase it, and can’t find it.  The kids laugh at our confusion.  Now if they do it once, it’s not a problem, but if they do it more, we begin to think that their making that throwing motion doesn’t mean a ball is coming, so we stop responding to that sight.  We don’t have any sense of the child’s joke, because we don’t think that way.  So then the kid wants to really play fetch again, and it doesn’t work, because we’re not responding the way we have to in the Continue reading

0 Is it a good idea to set up a Gay-Straight Alliance?

Athny asks: I’m thinking of making a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance), But, I’m not sure of what people would think, and how people would react (Some of my people are part of the rare species called Homophobic) – not to mention who would join.

Hi Athny –

The history of the human race can be viewed as a long journey in civil rights.  I guess when you all were cavemen, things were pretty even and equal between you.  But once you started civilizations, certain people started to be treated better than others, everywhere.  And groups that were powerful at one time became downtrodden later on, and vice versa.  Over the last 300 years or so, the idea of equality of all humans has been an ideal that’s only grown.  Different societies have gone about this in different ways, but overall, humans have aimed for higher equality between races, ethnic groups, sexes, economic classes… and, more recently, sexual Continue reading

0 How to deal with new fears after losing a parent

Salvatore asks: When you answered my last question, you asked what might have caused my depression. Its actual cause is my dad’s death. He died suddenly two and a half months ago. Since his death, I’ve been worrying about my future education. I still have my mother, elder brothers, and sister, but they can’t take away this feeling. I am studying pre-medicine. I remain worried all the time about who will support me financially till I become a doctor. I’m also worrying all the time about losing my mother too, as I lost my father. Please tell me what to do!

Hi Salvatore –

I am so horribly sorry about your devastating loss.  All animals expect to outlive their parents, but humans are supposed to last till we’re much much older.  It’s not fair that it happened to you, and I’m not going to try to make it feel better, because I just can’t.

I’m glad you told me what the reason for your feelings is.  Because there’s a difference between the usual Depression and what you’re experiencing, although they have the same symptoms.  You are going through what’s called Bereavement.  There’s no cure for it but time.  You’ve lost someone very close to you, who you loved dearly, and it came completely out of the blue.

In comparison, I know a man whose dog died of Continue reading