Category Archives for "Kids"

How to live with a snappy relative

amber95 asks: Hi Shirelle. I’m having family troubles at the moment with divorced parents, but my older brother of 19 is very moody and is always snappy with me. At the moment we are living separately but he will soon be moving in with me. What should I do about his behavior? Any advice?

Hi amber95 –

There is nothing more Boorrrrrrrrrrrring than living with someone snappy!  It just wears the other person down.  I know what it’s like when Handsome goes through rough times, and that gets me down.  But sometimes he’s had me have a “play date” with a dog who hates playing, and that just bites!  (And sometimes, so does the dog!)

So I’m with you.  Something needs to be done.  Now one thing I’m not sure of – will you two be living with one of your parents, or will it just be the two of you?  Either way, your job is to create some Continue reading

How to deal with the sudden loss of your dog

juicy asks: I lost my dog. I love him very much, but one day I arrived at my house to find he was dead and they had already taken him away. So I don’t know what to do. It was so fast that I didn’t know anything in that moment, and couldn’t believe it.

Oh Juicy, how awful!

 

You’re suffering from two hurts, both of which are devastating.

 

First of all, I’m not being conceited at all when I say that losing a dog often hurts people more than losing the people they love most.  It’s not that they love the dog more, but that there’s something so simple and pure about that love, versus the more complex relationships they have with other humans.

 

There are lots of things I can recommend to you.  First of all, you were right to write me about it.  Talk to others too.  This isn’t a secret, it’s a real valid pain that you have the right to have.

 

Second, is there some sort of Continue reading

What are some good techniques for a young person to handle stress?

juicy asks: Growing up isn’t easy. Most of the time I got headaches easily by stress… When I was young I didn’t really understand any family problems, or myself, or love. Sometimes I wanted to just run away. I want to know what to do when I get stressed out.

Hi Juicy –

 

You are so right, growing up is never easy!  If it were, I’d be spending my days chewing bones and sunbathing, because no one would be writing me questions at all!

 

Now… If I’m understanding your question correctly, you’re saying that you’ve always had stress issues, and now you’re wondering what to do about them.  Here are some suggestions:

1)    Breathe.  I know, it sounds silly, but most humans hold their breath when they get stressed out!  Whenever you feel the stress building, just sit down and take at least five slow deep breaths.  Ten if you can.  It won’t change what’s happening outside, but it will

literally help your body handle the stress much better.

2)    Regularly exercise.  Every day is best, but at least a few times a week.  Our bodies hold onto the stress that we can’t resolve, and it helps a lot to let them burn it out!  Plus, exercise encourages you to Breathe!

3)    Meditate, Pray, whatever you like.  But take some time every day to sit with your eyes closed and just center.  Feel any stress in your body and concentrate on relaxing it.  And of course, while you’re doing this, as deeply as possible…  yes, Breathe!

4)    As much as possible, get rid of jerks!  One reason lots of people feel so much stress is that their lives are full of really difficult, self-centered, unhelpful people.  If your boss or teacher is really tough on you all day, and then you tell a friend about it and that friend doesn’t listen, or insults you for it… that’s not a great friend!  Try to bring more positive and supportive people into your life.  Your stress level will reduce soon.

5)    Although they might seem to help at first, things like tobacco, alcohol, illegal drugs, and even caffeine actually increase stress.  Never count on them to help.  Far better to drink lots of water and make sure you get a good night’s sleep every night.

6)    On that count, eat a healthy diet.  Just like exercise and sleep, it will help your body relax more, and you’ll like what you see in the mirror more too!

7)    Find someone good to talk to about your stress.  Friends are great, but if you need more, a therapist or counselor is going to be very helpful.

8)    And oh you knew this was coming…  if you can, Juicy… get, or at least play with, a dog!  We are so good at stress-reduction!  We’ll remind you all the time of what really matters (love, protection, play), and what doesn’t (who said what about whom and who likes or doesn’t like who and all that!).  All the above are great things, but there’s nothing like a loyal trustworthy love, lightly snoring by your feet, to reduce stress always!  (you see, we pooches never forgot how to breathe!)

 

Good Luck, and feel better!

Shirelle

 

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Why we should pass on weather information to others

Hyra asks: why is it important to give information about Pagasa giving the people news when it reports storms?

Hi Hyra –

If I understand what you’re asking, it’s why one should pass on information that there’s bad weather coming.  Pagasa is the national weather service of the Philippines.  So when they put out an announcement of a big storm coming, I agree that it’s a really good idea for everyone there to let everyone else know about it.

So I’m a bit confused, Hyra.  Are you asking why it’s important to Continue reading

When family members aren’t speaking

Erika asks: My sister had a big misunderstanding with her daughter (who is suffering from anxiety disorder). It has been two whole weeks that they haven’t talked to each other. My sister thinks that my niece has to make the first move, as she is younger, but it seems that my niece has no plans of doing so, as she is still hurting. What should my sister do, especially since her daughter’s birthday is fast approaching? Should she make the first move or not?

Hi Erika –

 

What a good sister and aunt you are, to take this on.  They’re lucky to have you.

I have a bit of a problem in not knowing how old your niece is.  I’d see different issues if she was eight, eighteen, or twenty-eight.

But not knowing, I can still speak on a few issues.  Firstly, your sister might be working to train her anxious daughter to face her fears and difficulties.  And if so, it’ll help if you support her in this.  But that support might include telling her if you think she’s doing part of it the wrong Continue reading

How to handle trauma in a dog.

amber95 asks: Hi Shirelle. About 6 months ago I adopted a purebred Pomeranian from my local SPCA. She is my first proper pet, and she is my best friend. We were told that she was used for breeding purposes, but we think that she has psychological issues. Can these be related? And is there anything I can do to help her?

Hi amber95 –

First of all, may I offer my heartiest congratulations!  A first pet is a glorious thing, and I’m so glad that you’ve managed to become best friends within six months.  You should have years of joy ahead of you with this great little lover!  And may I add, thank you so much for getting her from the SPCA – they do such great jobs of saving and rescuing animals, I just love ‘em!

You ask if her psychological issues might be related to her original “job” as a dog for breeding.  I imagine there are specific issues about breeding that could result in emotional damage to a dog, but of course I have no way of knowing about this specific case.  What’s important is that you’re seeing that the dog does have psychological Continue reading

5 Why is a baby’s birth considered a miracle?

Angelbrat asks: Why is the birth of a baby considered as a miracle?

Hi Angelbrat –

 

That’s a lovely question.  What I especially like about it is that it gets me a chance to expound on something I think is really important.  Which is Miracles.

 

You see, when you really think about it, all a Miracle is just something that you didn’t really think was possible before.  Miracles happen every day – but once they happen, they’re not seen as Continue reading

Why would my best friend leave me?

Shefar asks: Hey Shirelle! I’m 12 and go to a private school. I’ve had a best friend before, but we broke up. I think that’s because of a new girl who she hangs out with a lot these days. She’s a lot better than I am. But I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to forget someone who’s close with her. I mean we can hang out together. Do you know why she left me?

Well, Shefar, of course I first have to answer your question by saying that I have no idea why she left you.  I’m a pretty insightful puppy, but I’m not a psychic, and so have no way of knowing what she was thinking.

It’s always very tough when friends want to stop hanging around us, and prefer the company of others.  It could be for a lot of reasons that are perfectly innocent.  One of the most common, especially around your age, is that kids grow at different Continue reading

How to help a child or teen with trouble concentrating

ethan 23 asks: Our son is ambidextrous, with possible dyslexia, and has real trouble concentrating, I am looking for methods to help him build up his concentration levels at school and in sports.

Hi ethan 23 –

I’m not sure what you’re saying about your son being ambidextrous – that just means he can use both hands equally well, and that’s a great thing (especially to someone like me, who doesn’t have any hands at all!).

But the trouble concentrating is, of course, a real problem.  Now I also have lots of trouble concentrating.  But that’s kind of normal for a dog (Have you seen the movie “Up”?  That dog in that movie is a great depiction of the unfocusedness that all dogs have, at least while they’re still young.).  And so, when I went to Training Class, the teacher did a great job of working with the lack of concentration in all of us.  He had our humans do two things.  Firstly, to carry a can with some rocks or coins in it, so when the dog isn’t focused on you, you can shake it.  It’s far kinder than hitting or scolding the dog, and focuses us just great.  Then secondly, they’d carry a bag of meaty treats in their pockets.  You wouldn’t believe what that does for a puppy’s focus!

And with your son, I’d really suggest trying to do the Continue reading

How can children increase family ties

Emy asks: How can children help keep family ties closer?

Hi Emy –

You ask a very interesting question.  I’m not sure if you are asking how children can keep their families more connected, or how they can stay more connected to their own families.

If it’s the first, it’s certainly something kids dream of doing a lot.  The popular movie “The Parent Trap” (either version of it) is a very fun version of this fantasy, where two twin girls conspire to get their divorced parents to remarry.  Of course the truth is that just by Continue reading

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