Category Archives for "Kids"

2 How to deal with someone else getting everyone’s attention and interest

Arjai101 asks: This guy at school just really gets on my nerves because everyone acts like the world revolves around him. Example: I compose my own classical piece on the guitar and it took me weeks nobody gives a care, he repeats the exact same punch line/ joke for the millionth time EVERYONE CARES. It’s like everyone cares about him at school and nobody notices anything that I do even if it took me forever whether its writing, basketball, chess, music I feel like no one at school gives a care. My friends are slowly drifting away and I feel like I have nothing to hold on to. He is ruining my life! He just dominates everything, so everyone cares. And it really hurts a lot. What should I do? I feel like I’m just drowning and there’s nobody here to save me.

Hi Arjai101 –

It sounds to me like you’re dealing with a very odd concept called Charisma.  Some people have tons of it, and others have little or none.  Charisma is that quality that makes someone exciting, attractive, and super-relevant to others.  All successful politicians have it; most movie and singing stars have it; and super-popular kids in school definitely have it.

What causes Charisma?  Well, good looks help, but some charismatic people aren’t wildly beautiful.  Intelligence, strength, and accomplishment help as well, but also aren’t absolutely necessary.  It really seems to be a mixture of a number of qualities.

But I do think there’s one quality that Charismatic people always have, which is a healthy (or unhealthy) level of something called Continue reading

1 Should you change schools if you’re not making friends in yours?

Hachiko asks: I want to change my school. Not because of it being an all-girls school, but because I can’t make any good friends here. Studying quality is good but I want to go to this other school (combined), because I have many other friends there. My mom thinks I shouldn’t go and my dad says I can go if I want. What should I do? I read in combined schools earlier, and I also read in this school when I was small, but because of my dad being in the army I had to change schools. I’m going through depression because of my school (I think), and my parents don’t actually care (they say they got problems of their own). I know they love me, but feeling alone is sad. And the studying pressure is also a bit more in the school which makes me go through mental depression as I get no time for myself 🙁 no time for hangouts and the studying pressure in that school is less. And also let me say that I don’t know why, but combined schools are also a lot of PRESSURE because of the boys if you know what I mean!

Hi Hachiko –

When Handsome first took me to a dog park, I was six months old, and as playful and hyper as any puppy ever, and was overjoyed to run up to all the dogs there and make friends… and not one wanted to play with me.

Why?  Well, partly because some of them had special friends they wanted to play with, and didn’t need a new pal.  Also because some of them simply didn’t like to play with anyone, or were older and found puppies annoying!  But also, in some cases, they saw that I didn’t really know how to play the way they liked, and wanted me to stay back and observe them, and learn their rituals and rules.

Now today, I understand all that.  But on the day itself, I was devastated.  My veterinarian had told Handsome to keep me out of parks like that till I was this old, for disease prevention, and I had just hated not being able to play with lots of dogs.  So my hopes for this day were gigantic, and being spurned by the other pooches made me feel worthless and Continue reading

0 Health Care: what’s all the yelling about?!

Health Care: what’s all the yelling about?!

(Originally included with Pawprint #1, November 2010)

It seems like all the grownup humans are talking about these days is Health Care. Adding to Health Care, taking away Health Care, reforming Health Care.

When I first heard all this talk, I had great hopes: Maybe they’ll finally agree with me and decide I don’t have to get any more shots!

Because oh I hate shots! Shots in the neck, shots in the foot, shots in the rump! I’m a big believer in equality and justice, and so, if it’s okay for a veterinarian to puncture me with a needle, I think it’s only fair I should be allowed to return the favor with a fang or two!

And oooooooh, there’s one thing that’s even worse than shots. Most kids never get these, but have you ever seen one of those vaccinations where they squirt it up your nose?! Now remember, a dog’s nose is way more sensitive than a person’s. So me getting one of those is like someone squirting a lemon into your eye! And then they sit around and talk about it being good for me?! Give me a break! Stupid rotten nose-squirt shot-giving meanies!

Okay, sorry, I had to have a little tantrum there. The truth is, I trust what Handsome tells me, and he insists that all these crazy things the doctors do – injecting me with this, taking that out of me, squirting whatever up my nose, groping me here and there, and even scraping my teeth – are really important and good for my health.

Most importantly, he says that they do all this for two main reasons – for me to feel good and energetic, and for me to live longer. Well I’m all for those, so if I have to suffer a few strange activities, I guess it’s worth it.

But that isn’t really what the Health Care debate is about, is it? I don’t hear any Representatives or Senators complaining about big needles. Their debate is really about insurance. And all the talk about insurance gets really complicated, but at its core, it’s actually pretty simple.

It’s like when we dogs get bones. We could enjoy them right away when we get them, and often we do. But we also like to bury them, so that on a day when we don’t have anything fresh to eat, we can go dig that bone up and satisfy our hunger.

Now imagine if a whole pack of dogs did that, buried some bones so that any member of the pack could get one when they needed it. That’s what an insurance company does – you pay a little money to it every month so that there will be a lot of money there for anyone who gets sick or hurt, enough to pay for them to get fixed up.

Now imagine that the leaders of that dog pack decide that all dogs should have to put bones in every month, and that that way all the pack members will be sure to not starve. Sounds good, right?

But maybe one dog says “I’m such a good hunter I won’t ever need a buried bone, so I want to keep my bones for myself.” And another says “I don’t like Fido over there, so I won’t put a bone in if there’s a chance he’ll get it.” And another says “But there are too many of us, we’ll run out of bones!” While at the same time, lots of the other dogs are saying that this is the only fair way for the pack to take care of its members, and anyone against it is being selfish and stupid!

Pretty complicated, isn’t it? Well that’s basically what they’re all yelling about, as far as I can tell. Most countries have some sort of a Health Care plan, and the one that we’re beginning in the United States is different from any other. So we’ll have to see how it works out over time.

But for right now, all I can say is, whether it’s paid for by the government, or an insurance company, or right out of Handsome’s pocket, the only thing I like about going to the veterinarian’s office is being done with it! When they give me a cookie, and let me take it in my mouth as I run full-speed out the door!

– Shirelle

0 My Top 10 of 2012! – things I’m grateful for today

My Top 10 of 2012! – things i’m grateful for today

Wow has this year flown by!  It feels like weeks ago that I gave Handsome a big lick at midnight to start 2012 right.

It’s certainly been a tough one for lots of us.  From wars to attacks to the continuing lousy worldwide economy, to horrible – even fatal – weather, 2012 has tested a lot of people’s and dogs’ patience.  But I’m optimistic about 2013.

Why?  Well, because I think we’ve learned a lot this year that can help us do better, because I believe the economy’s on the upswing, and because, well, I’m just that sort of cheerful mutt!

But also because so many things this year were wonderful.  Here are ten that I’m especially thankful for:

–      Water.  Sounds boring, I know.  What’s simpler or blander than water?  But you might have heard an old song that says, “You don’t miss your water till your well runs dry?”  I’m very active, and so pant a lot, and need to drink a lot.  So I’m grateful for water every time I find any.  And, as clean water gets harder to find, there’s no question, humans need to start caring for this most precious of resources better.  But for now, I just want to bid it a friendly nod of thanks!

–      Babies.  Another very normal thing – but aren’t they absolutely amazing?!  Just through luck, I’ve had a few new ones born around me recently, and I am always intrigued by their amazing minds, their deep souls… and, yes, the fascinating smells of their diapers!  I never met a baby I didn’t like, and I’m cheering babies everywhere, but I will take this opportunity to say a special hello to my pals Hazel, Sam, Avery, Chiara, and Judson!  Welcome to my crazy world!!!

–      The Black Keys.  I tend to like quieter music in general – the noisy stuff hurts my ears.  But I’m also a puppy at heart, and really fun jumpy tunes with a great beat do get my heart racing!  If you haven’t heard this band, or their SOOOOOO FUN album El Camino, you’re missing out!  Plus it’s so fun to howl along with the chorus of “Lonely Boy,” Oh-OH-Oh-Ohhhhhh!!!

–      Red Flags.  Last year, one of my top ten faves was about good friends sticking around and bad friends leaving.  On a similar note, I want to thank “Red Flags” this year.  That’s a term for when somebody does something that reveals to you that they’re not quite as trustworthy as you had hoped.  Like if you’re on a date with a boy who seems a total sweetheart and super-sensitive and caring, and he kicks a puppy and laughs about it.  Probably not the boy to stay with, right?!  Or that girl who’s everything you’ve ever wanted, but suddenly calls you a liar and a cheat because your cousin texted you ‘hello!’  Be Thankful for these moments!  They save us from such hurt and heartbreak later on, and leave you open for possibilities of…!

–      Paperman.  Speaking of romance, I don’t see new movies very often (it’s hard for Handsome to sneak me in to the theater), but last week I saw the most romantic, beautiful, touching love story I’ve seen in years!  And it’s maybe ten minutes long!  It’s a short, almost silent, cartoon film called “Paperman,” that shows before Wreck-It Ralph, which I’m sure you’ve all heard of by now.  And it’s sad and sweet and joyous, and all about the magic that can be created when someone refuses to give up on their quest for love.  Which is something any dog – especially any who’s ever been a stray – knows a lot about!  Love This!

–      The U.S. Election.  This is a tough one to include.  We all got SO BORED with the endlessness of this contest, with all the insults and lies and half-truths, and of course the incredible waste of money that went into it – money that could have done so many good things for the world.  But I still have to say, I liked that the main participants came off as smart (not always the case), that some real issues did get honestly debated, and that the results bode well for a future where more people will be respected, regardless of their race, gender, orientation, or religion.  But maybe the best thing about this election… is that it’s OVER!

–      Gluten-Free Pizza!  Last year I listed Pizza first among things I was grateful for.  But so many people have allergies to wheat flour that I have often found my human refusing to order it (and pizza is one of those things we dogs need you to do – it’s impossible for us to make; the toenails get in the way of our tossing the crusts, you know!).  Thank Goodness for the growing trend of Gluten-Free foods, so those people can enjoy the same dishes as others… and so they can get pizzas they’ll share with ME!!!!

–      Insects!  Everybody out there complains about bugs, how they get into food and bite and spread disease and such.  Well, I hate fleas and ticks as much as anyone, but I think our littlest companions deserve a bit of gratitude too.  Without them, life as we know it would end in minutes.  We need them in so many more ways than we know, and if we sit back and observe them, they have so many lessons to teach us – bees with their code of honor, ants with their mutual support.  I’m not telling you that you can’t bite a flea that’s biting you – I certainly do! – but when these fellas are leaving us alone, they’re worth a note of thanks.

–      YOU!  No surprise with this one!  I work hard, but it’s YOU who’ve made this site what it is.  The thousands of Pack Members, the tens of thousands of visitors, all of you who send questions in, and all who write back to tell me how my thoughts worked out… or just to say hi!  You are just the best bunch of friends a pup ever had!

But you know, up till now, I’ve been able to tell you that, but never to show it. But only up till now!  Because, through the magic of my wonderful friends Sherice and Martin…

–      Now you can REALLY Scratch My Ears!  You might have noticed that, on the right side of every page of AskShirelle.com, there’s a place that says “Scratch My Ears.”  And when you’ve clicked it, I’ve loved it and said ‘thanks,’ but now you get to SEE how much I love it!  Go for it. Ear scratches are one of those special things that you can never get enough of in life!  (Like Gluten-Free Pizza!!!)

So those are what I came up with off the top of my fuzzy head today.  What are YOU feeling grateful for?  (Or perhaps, not so grateful for?!!)

Have a great month and I’ll be in touch soon!

Shirelle

0 What are good breakfast foods?

sega asks: What are some of the best easy breakfast options?

Hi sega –

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term “the dog’s breakfast,” but I’m assuming that isn’t what you’re asking for!  (it means vomit!)

Well of course, I primarily love leftovers of whatever Handsome had for dinner the night before.  It’s always great, it’s very easy for him to prepare (just pull it out of the refrigerator and put it in my bowl), and I’ve always been craving it ever since he got home!

But you’re probably after something more usual.  Well, as good as they taste, my sense of nutrition tells me that starting the day with Continue reading

0 What to do when your friend alienates other friends

rachel asks: I have this friend. She is pretty nice, but she can get really mean and get into a lot of fights with other girls. She’s never mean to me though. And when she’s in fights with people she expects me to support her. I don’t want to get involved in it! Other people are starting to hate me because I hang out with her. Should I drop her as a friend? I don’t know what to do.

Hi rachael –

This is a really tough situation.  Your friend is a good friend to you, but is clearly expecting you to have a lot of loyalty to her, even when you think what she’s doing is wrong.  And now others are associating you with her bad side.  There is no right answer for what to do with that!

Or maybe there is.  You see, rachel, I think this all comes down to Continue reading

0 How to deal with not getting enough money from your caregivers

tinno 06 asks: My uncle and aunt pay for my school fees but they do not pay enough. I suffer at school, but I can’t tell them. This has made me less social – I can’t associate with my friends because in the middle of the term I run out of money, and I don’t eat on Saturday. What should I do? At school I have attitude because am not happy at home. I feel like am not loved. All the time I cry, and I live a fake sad life at school. I do not have clothes, so I have this bad habit of getting people’s things. I really need help please help me.

Hi tinno 06 –

tinno 06, this letter might be even sadder than the one about your father!  I am so sorry you’re going through this!

Money is one of the parts about humanity that I have lots of trouble understanding.  I mean, I like the idea of a token economy (no dog could have ever come up with that!), but the way that people have so many feelings about it, that just mystifies me.  Rich people are ashamed to admit how much money they have, poor people are ashamed to admit that they don’t have much, and someone like you who’s getting money from someone doesn’t feel they have the right to tell them that the amount isn’t Continue reading

0 Why are kids at school easier to understand than those in your family?

smart panther asks: As a teacher, why it is easy for me to understand my students, but hard to understand my own kids? Or is it that our own kids just don’t understand our instructions?

Hi smart panther –

I think the answer is pretty simple.  Think about dogs.  I’ll bet you think dogs are pretty easy to understand.  They have a few drives, some friendly, some aggressive.  They want food and play and love, and do what they can to get them.  Right?

But that’s because you don’t know them well.  Handsome has spent years studying me, because he finds me fascinating.  He is absolutely amazed and perplexed by the ways my mind works.  Now I’m not that different from other dogs; it’s just that he’s looking at me so closely.

When you go to your school to teach, every child there has a bunch of Continue reading

0 Is it uncool to hang out with younger kids?

lolly asks: I’ve just moved to a new house and made some new friends. Two of them are seven years old, and one of them is ten. Do you think I’m a bit too old to play with them? All the other teens are laughing at me, but I just don’t want to break their little hearts!

Hi lolly –

This is a great question.  Particularly because it says so much about you and the place you’re at in your life.  There are four important facts here:

1)    You have new friends and like them

2)    Some would say you’re too old to play with them

3)    Other teenagers laugh at you for your friendship with them

4)    These kids really care about you and you don’t want to hurt them.

Cool.  You are in a fantastic place to make a determination about the person you want to be.  And there are a few perfectly good choices you could make (and I guess one bad Continue reading

0 What are some acts of compassion from history

MASHOOD asks: Can you name a few major accounts of compassion from history?

Hi MASHOOD –

You bring up an interesting point: Most of the history that gets taught to children doesn’t include much about compassion.  It’s full of battles and wars and vengeance… mostly just the stuff we’re hoping to reduce in the world!

So I’ll throw in a few that I know of.  But it’d be awesome if you could collect a better list than I can!

1)    Saving the European Jews in World War II.  This story does get told, thank goodness.  When the Nazi government tried to kill off the Continue reading