ian asks: Who can help students throughout their problems in their school performance?
Hi ian –
There are almost an endless number of folks who intend to help students with their problems. The tough question for students is who to choose to ask for that help.
For example, many schools offer Continue reading
kavin24 asks: My younger brother’s 7th b’day is on coming up, but I don’t have an idea for what to give him. Can you choose it for me? I’ll tell you his interests: 1) He likes astronomy and mechanics but I don’t think he knows anything about it. 2) He’s trying to create things. 3) Sometimes he plans space ships. 4) He wants to work in NASA when he is 20 years old. 5) He’s also interested in mathematics. 6) He’s trying to dig tunnels in the house, and to add a swimming pool to our home. 7) He also likes detective stories, and has a detective tool set, laboratory tools and a telescope to watch planets. (note: I just have only a little pocket money!)
Hi kavin24 –
We dogs aren’t very good with gifts. The nicest present I ever gave Handsome was a squirrel I’d just caught. I dropped it at his feet as he was stepping out of the shower. The huge yell he gave made me think he was really excited and appreciative, but he then threw it out in the garbage, so I have a feeling it wasn’t a total success.
So I have no suggestions at all. In my experience, what people appreciate the most from me is love, play, warmth, protection… and shutting up when they Continue reading
zipingo asks: I am a special child – I can’t walk and am in a wheelchair. I need a tutor to teach me in Urdu. Can you help me?
Hi zipingo –
I don’t know enough about your specific situation (where you live, etc.) to give you exact information, but I think the Internet is your best bet.
Let’s say you lived in, oh, Paris. Well I imagine you could go onto a search engine like Google or Yahoo or whatever, and type in “Tutor Urdu Paris” and that a number of names would come up. Then you could check with all of them, and see who you can trust and like the most.
But also, I would imagine, if you live in a city, there will be places that provide tutors for Continue reading
amason7 asks: I failed 2 subjects at school, and my parents say that they are going to change me to a very bad school. I fear for my future. What do I do?
Hi amason7 –
I’m not sure what you’re fearing – if it’s the effect of failing the classes or the bad school. Or both.
If it’s about the classes, the odds are you’re worrying more than is deserved. People fail classes and exams all the time, and manage to move on to great lives and careers. There may be lessons to learn from the failures, and if so I’m all for that. But in terms of the immediate effects of the exams, you might have to retake those classes, or not get into some schools you want, but in the long term I think it’ll be fine. Hey I had to get trained in staying so many times – each time I’d think I’d nailed it, I’d screw up and have to go Continue reading
sundershiner asks: This one girl hates me and won’t stop making up lies about me! How can I get through to her? I want her to stop. But I want to do it in a calm way.
Hi sundershiner –
You probably know me well enough by now to guess what I’d say, which is that you’ve got to find out why she’s doing this! It makes no sense for anyone to hate anyone, or spread lies about them (which we know well is guaranteed to come back and bite her right below the tail one of these days), unless they have a very strong reason.
(Note: I didn’t say a very good reason; it might be completely stupid! But it’s definitely a strong one.)
Now if someone hates someone for reasons that are really about that person being Continue reading
roxan asks: What are the different types of dogs? How do they differ?
Hi roxan –
As different as we all look, believe it or not, all dogs are descended from the same ancestors – wolves! Yes, from that round Bulldog down the block to the tiny Maltese your friend sticks in her purse, to the gigantic Great Dane you’re scared to stand next to, to the yowling Beagle who wakes you up at sunrise – they’re ALL descendants of wolves. I know, I know, it’s shocking!
The different types you see are called Breeds. Breeds aren’t something from nature; they’ve been created by Continue reading
amikellia asks: I attend a school. As I got there people started disliking me for no reason. One girl said to another person that I am an African and they are very ugly, I am an African but I don’t know why people dislike Africans. Some of them have to be forced by a teacher to talk to me or group up with me, and so on. Some of them don’t even like sitting down next to me. They make fun of me behind my back, call me names and laugh at me anytime I lose something! If I tell a teacher, it becomes even worse. I try to ignore them, but it is very hard. They even mock my accent because I am an African. I don’t like it at all. Please help me.
Hi amikellia –
In most ways, humans are a lot smarter than us dogs. Humans can invent and create automobiles, humans can do math, humans can write songs and symphonies and poems and novels… humans are just brilliant.
And then there are the areas where humans can be absolute idiots. Racism sticks out as maybe the biggest of these.
You say you don’t like the way you’re being treated? Well I’ll take you one further – I HATE it! What you’re living through is unbridled cruelty, to the point of real bullying. And it is SOOOOOOOO Continue reading
kavin24 asks: I sent you a question, but I didn’t get your answer. Why is that? How can I see your solutions?
Hi kavin24 –
I’m sorry about that – I get very overwhelmed with all I’m doing (from guarding Handsome’s house to chasing birds to writing stuff for the website), and so I can’t answer questions as quickly as I’d like to. It usually takes me a few days to get to them. I try as hard as I can to answer them in less than a week, but sometimes I even fail at that.
But please know I do answer every question I receive. So if a week ever goes by and you haven’t heard back, please write me again. Sometimes emails do get lost. And even my great doggy hearing can’t pick up on the signal!
Thanks for all your questions and interest! Welcome to the Pack!
Shirelle
Happy Valentine’s Day? …is such a thing possible?!
(originally posted as Pawprint, February 2011)
February 14 is, to my mind, the strangest holiday humans have ever come up with! It’s been around for something over 600 years (the English poet Geoffrey Chaucer wrote about it in the 14th Century!), and is named for two saints who were killed for their Catholic beliefs – certainly not anything mushy-kissykissy-romantic! But today, their names define a celebration of romance that is celebrated just about everywhere in the world!
But that’s not what’s strangest about it. What’s really odd is that there is so much pressure on everyone on Valentine’s Day!
I’ll bet most of you kids have parties at school where you’re expected to give Valentine cards saying “I Love You” or “Be Mine” to every other kid in your class (whether or not you actually like them!). You teenagers have the huge question of whether or not to give a card (or a flower, or chocolate, etc.) to anyone who you kind of like, or who kind of likes you. And for you adults who are still single, it’s worst of all! Do you send a Valentine to the person you had a really awesome dinner with last week, or is that uncool? And if you are in a serious relationship, or even married, just how much do you have to do that day? Have a romantic dinner? Buy flowers? Give presents that cost a months’ salary?!
Now I’m a dog, and don’t understand a lot about how you humans do this romantic love thing. But one thing I do know is that pressure is the most UN-romantic thing there is! If a kid has to give a Valentine to all the other kids, how does she show how much she likes her best friend? If a teenager has to worry about who to please and who not, how can he express, or even feel, romance?! And for adults, if it’s all about having to honor a day on the calendar, it’s not really about that person you love! After all, you could give him flowers any other day of the year – and it would come off as more special, right?!
But worse, this pressure can make Valentine’s a very painful day. I have a friend who was the “new kid in school” when she was in 3rd grade, and when the students exchanged Valentines, she didn’t get a single one! Have you ever known someone who’s been “dumped” on Valentine’s Day, because of all the pressure? It happens a lot! Oodles of heartbreak. It’s just too much!
So what can you do?! Stay in bed all day?!
Okay, I’ll admit: that sounds GREAT to me! But in the meantime, I have three suggestions.
First, in Mexico they call February 14 “Dia del Amor y la Amistad,” or “Day of Love and Friendship.” I like that! What if you decided that Valentine’s Day is a great day to work extra hard to treat everybody with love? Maybe tell everyone something you like about them, “I love your voice,” “That shirt looks great on you,” or “You’re funny!” (Or, as I usually say, “Wow you smell really interesting!”) Not only will it get you through this crazy day, but you’ll be so well-liked tomorrow!
Second, if there’s someone you’re really interested in, and you weren’t able to tell them about it before, maybe you can use this day to send them an anonymous Valentine! That’s where you sign it “A Secret Admirer” or something like that! That can be really exciting and romantic, even if you never tell them you sent it! (Though it can also be a disaster – what if you send it to her and she thinks another guy sent it… and that guy lies and says “Yes I did…?!” Oh No!!!)
And third, if you have a relationship with someone really special in your life, it’s great to make them feel loved by doing something for them on this day. But plan something else too. And tell them, “I don’t want this to just be about a holiday. I want us to do something special because we are a very special thing!”
Wow, my brain’s hurting! That’s a lot of thinking about human love!
So let me tell you what WE DOGS think about Valentine’s Day. First, EVERY day is a day for us to jump on people and lick them and tell them “We’re CRAZY about you! We’re SO excited to see you! We love you more than ANYTHING!” So V-Day is just another day for that. But we’d love it if maybe, because it’s a special day, you could tell us the same thing… extra! With extra hugs, with extra belly rubs, with extra kisses on the nose, and with extra TREATS!
(But remember, no chocolate! It’s bad for us.
Along with all the pressure and rules and expenses, yummy chocolate is one other thing that you people get to keep among yourselves on this crazy crazy day!)
Lots of Love!
Shirelle
For Goodness’ Sake …a few thoughts about what ‘good’ means
The other day, I was sniffing some interesting bushes in a park, and a girl walked by without looking, and almost stepped on me. I jumped, and she screamed, and froze, trembling, afraid to move. Clearly, she was really scared, and thought I’d bite her.
Then, with all the voice she could muster – a whisper – she said, “Please be a good dog. Good doggy.” I sniffed her leg, and gave her a little kiss on the knee, but, seeing how frightened she was, thought it best to walk away and leave her to breathe.
This whole thing got me thinking, though. About what humans mean when they say someone’s “Good.” Now in her case, she meant that a good dog is one that doesn’t rip her legs off, expressing wishful thinking that I was at least that good! But that’s not what Handsome means when he calls me good. And when he angrily calls me “Bad Girl!” that’s not because I’ve ripped his body apart in fury!
So, just what does it mean when someone says that someone is a good dog, or a good person?
The more I thought about it, the more complex it got. And for my doggy brain, that was really hard. But here’s what I came up with:
“Good” can just mean the absence of “Bad.” Like that girl in the park – she didn’t know my best qualities, or even care about them. She didn’t know about how I protect our house, how I try to keep the yard squirrel-free, how I make sure Handsome feels loved every day by jumping on him and getting his nicest clothes all muddy and hairy… and I have no doubt she doesn’t know that I work hours daily to help out my pack member buddies with their troubles! No, she just hoped I wouldn’t hurt her.
But “Good” can also mean other things. For example, Handsome says it to me with a lot of meanings: When he trains me, “Good” means I did a trick right. When I catch a really difficult ball in the air, “Good” means impressive, that I did something really cool. And when he’s falling asleep and I curl up alongside him and he scratches my ears and says “such a good girl,” “Good” means that he loves my heart.
But when you hear that word used about humans, it very rarely means those same things. In the “Lord of the Rings” stories, for example, when Frodo’s always talking about his friend “Good Sam,” he’s talking about the goodness of Sam’s loyalty. And when you hear people refer to someone they’re introducing as “oh you’ll like her; she’s good,” they’re talking about how well she fits in with their group’s expected behaviors, such as having the right sense of humor or liking certain activities (In other words, “she’s good” could mean someone who likes to go hunting, or someone who’d never harm an animal, depending on who’s talking).
Then of course there’s the term “the good guys,” meaning the people we consider on the right side in a battle. Batman’s a good guy; The Joker’s a bad guy. Then people will half-jokingly take that attitude in sports. “The good guys scored six points against the bad guys.”
And then, there’s “Good” meaning “good enough.” Such as, “He’s a good singer,” or “She’s a good football player,” etc. It’s not the same as saying that person’s truly great at that, but that they’re adequate. “He’s no Daniel Day-Lewis of course, but he’s a good actor.”
Speaking of actors, there’s another meaning of “Good” that I’ve seen in some of the old movies Handsome likes to watch. It’s a mixture of ability, coolness, intelligence… all those qualities we really want to think we have (yes, even us dogs). “Is he any good?” a character will say. “I just want to find out if I’m good enough.” Etc. It’s kind of hard to describe, but think of it this way: James Bond is good, really good.
And then there’s another definition. And this one is my favorite. A friend of Handsome’s was arrested by a police officer, as it looked like he’d committed a crime. And after he was released (they found out he hadn’t done it), he talked about what it was like being held by the cop. “He was pretty tough. Had me in handcuffs, was really intimidating. But then while I sat in the car, he offered me some coffee. Even held it so I could drink it. I realized, he was actually a good guy.”
Now what did he mean by “Good?” Of course the officer was on the side of the law; that wasn’t what this guy discovered about him. And it wasn’t quite kindness; the officer was absolutely scaring him, and hurting him a little by chaining his hands up.
I think the quality that made that officer “Good” was something called Empathy. Empathy is that quality where you actually feel something that someone else is going through.
It’s not the same as Pity (where you feel sorry for someone in a kind of distant way, like pitying the victims of the volcano at Pompeii), or Sympathy (where you feel bad that someone’s going through some pain, like when your friend loses a relative).
Empathy is more like when you watch someone suck on a lemon and it makes your mouth pucker. It’s also when you watch a movie and cry because a character’s girlfriend just left him. Or when you hear about a kid whose dog has gone missing, and your heart just drops as you struggle to imagine how that must feel.
Now I might be wrong, but I’m guessing that that police officer saw this scared guy in his car, shivering in the cold, and thought “Hey, even if this guy is a criminal, he’s clearly not dangerous, and I would feel better if I gave him some hot coffee.” That’s Empathy.
We hear all the time about people who do good deeds just for show. And when we learn the truth about how uncaring that person really is, we stop thinking that they’re really good people – even if they’ve done something really nice and useful. No, it’s goodness in the heart that really matters to us. How much someone feels for others. And acts accordingly (If that officer had only felt for the guy, and not given him the coffee, no one would consider him especially good).
Which brings me back to that girl at the park. You see, it wasn’t my not biting her that made me a good dog at that moment. It was my sensing how scared she was and walking away to give her space.
If I’d stayed and sniffed her some more, that doesn’t mean I would have been a bad dog, but it wouldn’t have been as thoughtful, as considerate… as empathetic… as what I eventually did.
And as we go through life, I think that might be something to keep in mind. It’s fine to put a lot of effort into being great, or being the best. I’m all for it. But at the same time, it’s important to remember that maybe the best things we ever do are just simply being Good.
Which was especially important to remember when we got home from the park, and I was all excited, and jumped up on Handsome’s white couch with my muddy feet and he started yelling and kicked me out of the house, calling me “Bad Dog” and worse!!
“Bad Dog?” I guess I was. But I also was able to know that, deep down, I was a Good dog too.