Category Archives for "Growing Up"

0 How to handle an overprotective parent

Ioanna asks: My father lives in another country, because his job is there. So I live with my mother and my brother who is 2 years younger than me (I am 15 and he is 12). I don’t know how to make my mother trust me. Things my brother does now I couldn’t do two years ago — and not even now! When I go out with my friends, my mother asks about every single thing! Please help me!

Dear Ioanna:

The best and worst thing about me as an Advice-Giver is that I’m not a person. What I know about people is what I see by standing on the outside – watching neighbors walk by talking from my window, listening to phone conversations as I try to sleep, or staring attentively at Handsome’s dinner parties, paying a little attention to how the people deal with each other while I pay a lot more to any possibility of food falling onto the floor! (You know, spaghetti is especially good at falling off forks!)

So when I get a question like yours, I tend to answer in very broad terms, as if all families and mothers and daughters are alike. And of course they’re not! So please forgive me if I make a guess here, and it’s totally wrong!

Having said that, your problem is very common. You’re dealing with two typical human patterns.

First, when parents get their first baby, they really don’t know what they’re Continue reading

2 How to Handle First Loves

Sweetparker asks: I am 13 years old. When I started high school, I fell in love with F. Then I found out that he already had a girlfriend, so stopped having those feelings for him. Meanwhile, I had an enemy there as well, A. He and his friend like to disturb my friend and me. But after a fight with A, I realized I was falling in love with him! After that he made me furious with him, but I still love him. Then recently, F had a fight with his girlfriend and told me he loved me. Now, A can’t understand what I feel, but I just don’t love F. Please tell me – what should I do?

Wow, Sweetparker! Whatever happens, be sure and write this story down. This is just what makes bestselling novels, hit plays, and blockbuster movies! Everyone loves stories where the couple can’t stand each other and then fall in love – from all those Shakespeare comedies to Scarlett and Rhett, Leia and Han, and… hey even Lady and the Tramp had conflicts!

The tough news is that, unlike those, your situation is real, and doesn’t get worked out in a few hours.

The first thing I can tell you for sure, though, is that what seems to be a gigantic and endless problem now is really Continue reading

0 How to Support the Younger Generation to Shape Their Future

Fabeenajeeb asks: In what way we can support our younger generation to shape their future?

Ah, Fabeenajeeb, you are a human after my own heart! This whole website is devoted to just that! All I’m here for is to support the younger generation (of humans!) to shape their future. So if you ask what you can do to help that, my first answer is: tell them to join and read AskShirelle.com!

But what else can you do? Wow, there are thousands of things. But here are a few off the top of my furry head:

1) Provide a Full Education. Kids notoriously avoid doing their schoolwork… until they find something that really interests Continue reading

0 Good Advice for Applying for a Job

Hassan asks: I want to apply for a job. I’m too much interested. Can you help me?

That’s great Hassan! The only job I ever applied for was “Companion and Protector.” My job interview involved standing up in the little cage in the dog pound and trying to convince whoever walked by that I’d be the best friend they’d ever have. With the first few hundred people who walked past, I was really saying I’d try to be that. But when Handsome walked by, we both knew it was true.

But here’s something I don’t think I’ve ever said to anyone on this site before – Handsome did not buy me right away! We had this great connection, but he was afraid I’d Continue reading

2 How much one should compromise in life

Duaa asks: How much should we compromise in life?

Your question is wonderful, and very very important. Especially because it’s one that you’ll keep asking as long as you live! Everybody has to ask themselves this question all the time.

From your question, it’s clear that you know the word “compromise,” but in case any of our other readers don’t, it means to take what you want and what someone else wants into consideration, and either find a way to “meet halfway” where each of you gets a part of what you want, or for you to just give them some or all of what they want, and not get what you want.

Confusing? Well, for example, when Handsome takes me for a walk, I like to sniff a Continue reading

0 How kids can resolve the generation gap

Tanni asks: What should children do to reduce the generation gap between adults and children?

That’s a fascinating question. Lots of our readers probably don’t know the term “Generation Gap.” It showed up in America in the 1960s when people noticed that parents and kids were disagreeing about way more things than ever before. Of course there’d always been disagreement about things like homework and chores, but now the young people were listening to music their parents couldn’t Continue reading

0 How to resolve lying to your parents.

Lehshan asks: I’m feeling nervous right now. I’m lying to my mother all the time. I didn’t enroll in my summer class. What should I do?

Okay, let me be clear. I have a very long nose. So I’m not making fun of anyone’s nose when I say that the wonderful old story “Pinocchio” really had it together, with the idea that when you tell a lie it just grows bigger and bigger till it’s as clear as the nose on your face. Your job, if you’re dealing with having lied, is to somehow stop it, and resolve the problem, so you can move on from it.

See, dogs don’t lie. We don’t know how to. So we never can get caught in one. We get caught at other things – digging out of our yard, disobeying, stealing food off the Continue reading

0 How to become famous at school

Anand asks: How can I become famous in my school?

That’s a fascinating question, Anand! Thanks!

I definitely understand you wanting to become famous in your school. I had the same frustration once! In my obedience class, I ended up being the best student there – I learned the most, and did my tricks the best on the last day. But I’ll bet there’s not a single dog there who remembers me. You see, they were all way too focused on the treats their owners had to pay me much attention!

In a funny way, it’s really the same in human schools, isn’t it? Everyone there is worried about all sorts of things – wanting to do well on tests, wanting to be liked, wanting to fit in, wanting to stay out of the principal’s office, wanting to get out of this annoying Continue reading

0 How can you be yourself on a first date?

Avrilox26 asks: A guy from my school (but with 1 class “bigger”) noticed me a while ago… We started to talk on messenger about a lot of things! He’s known me a lot of time, but didn’t notice me until now… Until now we just said hello and how are you ‘live’, the rest online… (I need to mention that I’m kind of a shy person and it took me a while to be myself with other people, but online it’s easier for me to be myself, so I was myself with him online) I think that he really enjoyed me, so he invited me out… Today, we decided the date, time, and place, but I’m really nervous! I don’t know how I’ll act! (I also need to mention that is my first date – if he sees it like a date – ever! A lot of guys have asked me if I want to be their girlfriend, but I didn’t want to, because I didn’t like them or didn’t want/can). I’m so nervous! I’m having a lot of questions now in my mind about what he will think (I always care about what the people around me are thinking about me!) and I don’t know if he’s as nervous as me! He told me that at first he was ashamed to ask me out. Then today he said that he can’t wait to see me and he warned me: “make sure you won’t be late!”… I’d like to invite my BFF to come ‘by mistake’ there, but I think now that he will feel uncomfortable… Do you have any advice/tips about this? What should I do? I’ll be so nervous! And, how can I be myself with him? It’s easy to be myself with other people (those that I know), but with him… I need to mention: I am 14 years old and he is 15 (but he will be 16 in July :/). Thanks! This means a lot to me!

Wow this is really exciting! A first date! It makes me think of my first time in the local dog park. I was so nervous, and SO excited, to play with all the other dogs. And I ran out to play with them and… nothing happened. They wouldn’t play with me. I didn’t know how to play with them, and they didn’t care about me, and… it really hurt. But Handsome kept taking me back there, and over time I Continue reading

0 What new challenges do today’s five-year-olds face?

Sonia asks: Can you tell me what the challenges are, that have to be overcome by today’s kids of 5 years of age and above?

Wow, Sonia, that’s a huge question! I mean, there are a ton of things that most five-year-olds have overcome: most of them have learned to walk and talk and use the toilet and a lot of other more detailed things. But the answer to your question is: Everything Else! Kids 5 and above have to learn social skills and multiplication; how to ride a bike, drive a car, and analyze history; what to do on a date and how to write correctly in the subjunctive tense (okay I’ll be honest, this dog has absolutely no idea what the subjunctive tense is; it’s just something I Continue reading