Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

1 How to reduce stage fright

Sarah asks: In two weeks I am going to perform (rap) on stage and I am extremely nervous. What can I do to help me reduce that fear?

Hi Sarah –

The first – and most important – thing for you to know about this is that Stage Fright is the most common greatest fear in the human race.  Let me clarify what I mean: when people are asked in surveys “What is your greatest fear,” and there are answers like illness, death, and losing all your money, they answer “Public Speaking” more often than anything else!

We dogs don’t have as big a problem with this, because we don’t have self-awareness and self-consciousness in the way humans do (simply because our brains are smaller!).  But I sure see humans freaking out about it a lot, so I can offer you a few suggestions to help you with it (try them out and see which ones work for you, and don’t worry about the Continue reading

0 How one can know what they’ll be when they grow up

Bright asks: When I grow up, what will I be? I am not really sure, and I don’t even really know what I like. Can you help me?

Hi Bright –

Ah, the truth is that I can’t help you decide at all.  I have hundreds of questions on my website about building one’s future, but what’s absolutely great is that you will be the one to decide for yourself!  For today, the best thing you can do is to find things that you do like, and pursue them.  Even if they’re not the things that school says are important.

Handsome really fell in love with old horror movies when he was about ten years old.  Did they get him a career, a marriage, or anything remotely like that?  Nope.  Does he think about them every day today?  Yep.  Did he totally flip out a couple of years ago when he got to meet Boris Karloff’s daughter?  You bet!  In other words, that love from his childhood has deepened and strengthened his adult life today.  And that is a great Continue reading

0 How should one learn the meaning of obscene words?

prettyndsweet12 asks: A lot of the kids at my school are older than me and use a lot of profanity and talk about mature things like sex terms. Most of the time I don’t know what there saying, but I’m too embarrassed to ask what they mean, and I’m too embarrassed to ask my mom. What should I do?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Well, I’m of three opinions here, and I can’t decide between them, so I’ll throw all of them at you and let you make your own mind up, okay?!

First – Relax.  You’ll learn what all those words mean soon enough.  In fact, you’ll eventually hear them so much that you’ll wish you didn’t know what they meant anymore!  People use bad words more than ever before – it’s not that the words are new; it’s just that people used to save them for specific times, and now they throw them around like adverbs and pronouns!  Frankly, most of them aren’t all that interesting.  So relax, and trust that, just as you once learned thousands of words just by listening to your family talk, you’ll pick up on these just fine soon.

Second – Trust your Continue reading

1 How to divorce with children

Lakshmi asks: I am a mother of an 8-year-old. Of late my husband and I are not like we used to be. We have been frequently fighting, and today he said that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. I am confused about the kid. I am from India, where divorce is still not very well accepted. I need advice please.

Hi Lakshmi –

I’m so very sorry that you’re going through such a painful experience.  I can’t imagine many things much more difficult.

I have to admit, I’m confused on one point.  You say that you are “from India,” but are you still living there now, or have you moved to another country?  Regardless, I don’t know where you are, so I can’t comment on the specific divorce laws of that area (not that I’m any expert on any laws other than the local leash laws, which are pretty scary to me!).

But I can comment on two aspects of what you say.  Firstly, although I think it’s terrible, people often say very harsh things to their spouses, way more intense than they really mean.  When your husband said he didn’t want you in his life anymore, it’s possible that he was just speaking his Continue reading

0 Why can’t teenagers leave home yet?

CASHMONEY asks: Why must teenagers not leave their home and start life?

Hi CASHMONEY –

Scientists and politicians and religious leaders have been arguing forever, it seems, about when life begins.  Is it at birth, at conception, three months into gestation…  Only teenagers believe that life begins the day they can get out of their parents’ home!

And that’s a really important part of being a teenager.  Little children might fantasize about running away, but that’s generally because they are miserable about how they’re being treated.  And lots of adults cling on to their parents’ homes to a degree that sometimes looks bad to others, who say “Why don’t they grow up and move away?!”  But most teenagers have this enormous yearning for the freedom of getting out of the house, of making their own lives, finding their own way… or, as you said, starting Continue reading

0 Is it possible to fall in love with two people at the same time?

connie asks: Is it possible to fall in love with two admirers?

Hi Connie –

Oh absolutely it is!  There are many tales about it: Scarlett loved Ashley and Rhett, lots of the Greek gods and goddesses had no trouble loving more than one person (or god) at the same time… and think about that lady that Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney sing about in “The Girl is Mine.”  You know she couldn’t help but love both of them!!!

What does seem true, though, is that it’s very rare that a person can fall in love with more than one person in the same way.  Scarlett loved Ashley’s nobility and innocence, while also loving Rhett’s scalawag strength.  In fact, lots of people argue that it’s impossible to have all your needs met by just one person, so it’s best to, even if you’re married, have other people who you love and keep in your life, besides your spouse.

The tough part, of course, is what you Continue reading

0 How to handle a friend who’s jealous of your other friends

emily rose asks: I have a ”friend” in my school who is jealous of me being friends with someone else and she’s always making fun of us and tricking us into doing stupid things and making us feel bad about our selves (but she is mostly hurting my friend). What should I do?

Hi emily rose–

Jealousy is such a lousy feeling, both for the person who’s feeling it and the person who it’s about.  Of course some mild jealousy is all right, and even can be fun (married humans say it can keep a romantic spark going), but what you’re describing isn’t fun at all.

I think the best thing about your letter is the quotation marks you put around the word “friend.”  Not that she doesn’t care about you, even to the point of devotion, but that she’s not doing a good job of being a friend right now.  Instead she’s being Continue reading

0 How to handle rejection

Amethyst asks: How does one handle rejection, especially as a teenager? And please could you give me stories of other teenagers that have overcome both rejection and depression?

Hi Amethyst –

The honest truth is it never feels good to be rejected.  I’m a really friendly pup, and I want to be friends with just about everyone I meet.  And I get rejected so often.  Maybe because someone’s scared of dogs, maybe they just don’t like us, and maybe they love dogs but are wearing black and don’t want me to shed all over them (I can’t help it – I don’t do it on purpose!).   Whatever it is, it hurts every time.  And when it’s someone I really care about, oh that’s like a knife in the heart!  The times when I’ve run up to Handsome and he’s been angry to see me (probably because I’d climbed over the fence and run across the street) I will never fully recover from.

On top of that, when you’re a teenager, you care more about acceptance from your peers than at any other time in your life.  So the boy who doesn’t call again, or the girl who is offended by your goodnight Continue reading

0 What to do when friends are jealous of your success

Serena asks: In school my friends always try to avoid me because I’m better than them in studies and everything. What should I do?

Hi Serena –

Before I answer your question, I want to ask you one:  Are you sure that that’s why your friends are behaving this way?  If so, they’re being extremely petty.  So you might want to see if there’s a way to find out if something else could be going on – if they’re avoiding you for something you didn’t even realize you’d said, or because they’ve decided you’re not wearing the cool brand of shoes or something!

But if you’re right – this is ridiculous!  Your friends are acting out of meanness and jealousy.  And my advice to you is simple:  Keep doing what you’re doing in your classes, and find better Continue reading

0 What to do when your child steals

Bhing asks: I am a working separated mom. I’m worried about my son’s behavior. Whenever he sees money he cannot be honest with it. He is into computer games and because I do not want him to focus his attention to it I kept my valuable things where he couldn’t find them. But the next thing I knew, he still found them (I do not know how he does it). I worry that if I can not do something about this, it will affect his future (and I do not want my son to be embarrassed in front of other people, or at worst go to jail if this gets worse. I love my son and I just want the best for him. I have tried so many strategies, including spanking, just for this behavior not to get worse. Please help me. I do not know what to do.

Hi Bhing –

There’s a word for this, and it’s “Unacceptable.”  Kids misbehave in lots of ways that their parents have to deal with, but a few things go beyond the norm in that area. It’s like when I was a puppy – I might chew some things up, might make some messes, and Handsome just had to work with those.  But one time I nipped at him in anger, and he BLEW!  Jumped onto me, turned me onto my back, yelling in my face – exactly the right way to dominate a puppy, and teach it to never ever ever do that again.  Lesson learned, all fine.

For a human to rob is like a dog biting.  Eventual grounds for Continue reading