Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

0 How can men and women relate?

urmii asks: How can I relate with a woman?

Hi urmii –

I’m going to guess two things.  First, that you’re a man.  And second, that when you ask how to relate with a woman, what you mean is how to understand her, to connect with her.  (If you’re asking how to get a girlfriend, or how to get a woman to become your relation, those are very different questions!!)

So what we’re dealing with here is the timeless question of how men and women can understand each other.  Sigmund Freud, who was probably the greatest genius who ever worked on questions like this, famously said, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’”  If he was this stuck, how in the world can normal men and women hope to Continue reading

0 How to find true love

mhaneva asks: How will you find a true love?

Hi mhaneva –

The way you phrase your question, it sounds like you’re asking how I will find true love.  Oh mhaneva, I found Handsome, and I found a wonderful boyfriend too, an Akita-Chow mix named Kuma, and between those two, I’ve got the truest loves I could ever hope for.

But I like to think of your question in a different way:  How can anyone find true love?  Now I have lots of questions and answers on the AskShirelle website about when and how to get girlfriends and boyfriends, but you’re asking something else – how to find Love.

Well, the answer is simple, and very very difficult.  You find Love in your own heart.  But that can take some Continue reading

0 How to keep teenagers from abusing drugs and alcohol

Kully asks: What can be done to help high school learners not to engage in alcohol and drug abuse?

Hi Kully –

This is of course a gigantic issue, one that has dominated minds far greater than mine for decades.

The problem is a simple one – teenagers like to do things that are daring, things that are adult, and things that make them feel different; and alcohol and drugs meet all three of those desires.

The one thing I can promise you doesn’t work is telling them not to do them.  It’s great to educate children about the dangers of different substances, and that can have fantastic long-term results.  In the United States, concerted campaigns to teach kids about the dangers of smoking have helped cut the percentage of smokers there by half in the last fifty years.  But telling teenagers that alcohol and drug abuse are unhealthy does almost Continue reading

0 What to say to graduating students

sukh asks: What advice would you give to the outgoing class?

Hi sukh –

Well, I’m not a great expert on this.  My entire educational experience was a few weeks of obedience school (and some later remedial tutoring).  We didn’t get any advice from our teacher – the main advice he gave was to our humans, advising them to keep training us!

My bigger problem, though, is that I don’t know what “outgoing class” you mean.  Are they graduating sixth grade?  High school?  College?

Either way, though, I guess there are some things I’d want to Continue reading

0 What to do about uncontrollable diarrhea

ktarr asks: I’m not sure if I have diarrhea. I go to poop quite a lot, and when I do my poop is runny, and watery. When I look at it I feel sick. Also sometimes this happens at school and I go in my pants by accident. Please help. I’m not going to tell my mum, because I’m scared as she’s upset about dad leaving her. She doesn’t care. And my tummy hurts a lot.

Hi ktarr –

Diarrhea has a number of different definitions, but the most common one is exactly what you have – runny, watery poops.  Especially if they’re frequent, and hard to control.  People and dogs get it pretty frequently, often from eating food that’s too spicy for their system, having more fruit than usual, or, of course, from some sort of digestive illness, like a flu.

So the literal answer to your question, ktarr, is yes, you have diarrhea.  But from what you say, I think there’s more concern than just that.

It sounds to me like you have a condition that’s probably brought on by Continue reading

0 Should a redhead dye her hair to be liked?

ED104 asks: I have red hair and really want a boyfriend, but no guys like me. I sometimes get bullied about my hair colour, and everyone is so judgmental. I’m thinking of dying my hair darker for a change, but also to get a boyfriend. But I don’t know if I should or not.

Hi ED104 –

Although we dogs aren’t nearly as interested in looks as we are in smells and sounds, I understand your desire to look more beautiful.  It’s clear to me that when I’m dirty and covered in burrs and smells, most people don’t want to pet me, and even Handsome just does enough that it’s clear he’s just letting me know he still likes me.  But when I’m clean and brushed and not so smelly, so many more people want to hug and pet me, and kiss my nose and all.  You just want to be more attractive, and that makes total sense.

But you bring up a really important other issue .  It sounds like you’re saying that your red hair means you’re not Continue reading

0 What should you do if your boyfriend cheats on you?

batha asks: I need advice about my boyfriend. I love him but he’s having an affair. What can I do?

Hi batha –

Oh what a horrible feeling you must be having!  It’s just awful to be cheated on!  I’ve never experienced it exactly – just felt very jealous when Handsome pets other dogs – but when I’ve seen others go through it, it looks awful.

So you have a pretty simple question to ask, and it’s only yourself you’re asking:  What can you put up with?  Is it okay with you that he’s having an affair?  And if he promised to stop it and not have another one, would you Continue reading

0 How to handle a parent who can’t trust your boyfriend

Julia asks: If you have a friend that tells your mother “good morning” and everything but she doesn’t reply, and then says that he is disrespectful and has no manners… what do you do about that?

Hi Julia –

It sounds to me like your mother has a major case of “I Don’t Like That Boy!” going on.  It could be for many reasons, and the most likely one is just because he’s a boy and he’s hanging around you!

When Handsome was a teenager, he had a girlfriend whose father just complained and complained about him.  When he girl finally confronted him and made him admit that Handsome was a perfectly nice enough boy, the father told the truth, “All right, yes he is.  But he’s still a Continue reading

1 What are the constraints of becoming pregnant at an early age?

Sparkle asks: what are the constraints of becoming pregnant at an early age?

Hi Sparkle –

There are really two answers to your question.  The first is what the constraints are of becoming pregnant at any age.

I was spayed when I was six months old, so have no experience with pregnancy.  But from what I hear, it’s the most intense experience anyone ever goes through.  Your body changes in countless ways – your hormones go wild (which is of course happening in your teen years anyway, so just figure it’s more of what you’ve been already experiencing!).   Your belly of course swells to many times its normal size.  The pregnancy cuts into pretty much all your activities, from athletic physical ones (of course) to social and academic ones (you’ll need lots of extra sleep, crave odd foods, have to avoid lots of your favorite foods, throw up lots, and have to pee ALL THE TIME since your bladder is being sat on by the Continue reading

0 Why do teenagers feel so isolated

ti-f asks: I’m 12 and in sixth grade, and I know most kids don’t have any close friends – I’m actually one of them. Why do I feel so isolated?

Hi ti-f –

There is just about nothing more painful than not having friends.  Friends are as important to most people (and dogs) as health or family.  So it makes total sense to me that you’d feel bad about not having any close friends.  But while it’s always true that we want good pals, you’re at an especially vulnerable age, ti-f.  This is a time when your whole world is changing – inside you and around you – and that can make anyone feel very

Continue reading