Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

0 Why would a hard-working teenager lack motivation?

Max asks: At home, I do lots of work but when it comes going out, I feel like not going. I go to college, and if I have to go somewhere, I can go for sure, but when I am home, no matter how important the matter is, I don’t feel like going. Is this laziness, or is something wrong with me?!

Hi Max –

Yes, there’s something wrong with you.  It’s your age!  You’re a college-age boy, and although we usually have this image of guys that age being aggressive, driven, excited, and very social, the truth is that this is a time when males often need to retreat for a while.

Am I correct in guessing that you’re also having some trouble making decisions these days?  That the world is expecting you to pick your major, pick your top interests, find a spouse… and you’re not quite able to choose between eating a carrot and an Continue reading

0 How to deal with teenage drinking or alcoholism

Chandu asks: How to correct an alcoholic teenager?

Hi Chandu –

This is a great question, but before I answer at all, I want to clarify something – the word “alcoholic.”

Alcoholism is a terrible disease, an addiction in which the sufferer is unable, or nearly unable, to resist the urge to drink, no matter how bad the consequences are.  It’s much more than just a desire; it involves the person’s brain being literally re-wired, in a way that can never be undone, even after decades of sobriety.

Lots of teenagers drink, and lots drink way more than is remotely healthy for them or those around them, without being Continue reading

0 Why can one still get depressed when they’re doing what they love?

Athny asks: I have been completely obsessed with Anime. I watch it all the time, and I mean All the time. But I sometimes get bored with it, and Life. I go to Karaoke, but I just sing Anime songs. I even have my own Hatsune Miku Costume. But I keep getting depressed half the time and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

Hi Athny –

You seem to be confusing two very different issues, Athny.  It’s absolutely fantastic to love something, even to the point of obsession.  Lots of people never find something they love that much.  Your love of Anime might well last your whole life, and influence all sorts of aspects of your world as you go.

For example, when Handsome was young, he developed a great love of the old Continue reading

0 How can one move past bad memories?

prettyndsweet12 asks: Sometimes I tend to think about the bad and embarrassing things that have happened to me in the past, and it makes me sad and sometimes mad. How can I keep myself from thinking about my past and focus more on my present and future?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

That’s a great question.  People always tell us to move on past the bad things in our pasts, and live life in the present.  But how can we do that when those bad memories just won’t let us go?!

Well, here’s the deal – those memories are there for a very good Continue reading

0 How to get in shape quickly

Sundershiner asks: I’m really overweight, and really upset I’ve let myself get this way. At school all my classmates look at me funny, and I always feel insecure. I am confident in everything else other than my stomach. I don’t have any problems, and I’m occasionally active! I just love to eat! I’ve tried to be healthy, or try to do something active but I just end up not doing it and having some type of food in front of me! So what could I do to get healthy fast? Run, swim, walk, cardio twister, the bike, field hockey practice in my yard? Also, I will be missing a week worth of field hockey practice! My coach said we all really need to get in shape or it will be a nightmare. I know because I did it last year. I just want to be prepared this time! What should I do?

Hi sundershiner –

If I’m understanding your question right, your field hockey will start soon, and you want to get into great shape by then.  Well, it’s impossible to change completely in that time.  But what you can do is start preparing now, to be ready for the practices to get you into better shape.

All the exercises you ask about are great.  And my advice would be to not overdo any of them.  Maybe go Continue reading

0 How can a dog help anyone by giving advice?

Rebecca asks: You’re just a dog! How can you ever help me? My problems are getting worser n worser! But thanks anyway, for your concern, and for being on my side. I am happy just for that.

Hi rebecca –

I have one very important answer for you:  You’re right.  I can’t help you a bit.  I can’t come out there and bite the people who are mean to you, and I can’t lay my head on your lap so you can hold me while you cry.  And I certainly can’t change anyone else’s behavior.

But there is one thing I can do, and that’s what I love to do more than anything else:  I can Continue reading

0 What to do if a popular boy is attracted to you

lillyanna asks: I recently heard that the most popular boy in my village has a crush on me. This came as a surprise because I am not all that popular and taught he did not know who I was. What should I do?

Hi lillyanna –

Oh I wonder how many of our readers are yelling at you as they read this, “JUMP ON HIM, SILLY!”  And of course, I agree, but I jump on everybody, so I’m not a good role model in that!

My big question is what you Continue reading

1 What is racism, and why does it exist?

sazuna45 asks: I’ve been asking a question of people I trust. Kind of a survey: What do you think about racism? How unnecessary/ necessary do you think it is? And what can be the results?

Hi sazuna45 –

Okay, let’s start with a definition.  I define Racism as a particular form of prejudice, in which one makes judgments about a person or group of people based on their race, and not on actual facts.  And usually those judgments are, in some way, negative.

Let me explain what I mean by “usually, in some way, negative.”  Today, one of the most popular sports in the world is Continue reading

1 What to do if your parents treat you worse than your siblings?

rebecca asks: I am 16, and have a 20-year-old sister who my parents love more than me. They’re always telling me I’m good-for-nothing. I mostly do all the hard work like cleaning the house and washing the dishes, and when I am tired, they just tell me get back to work again, and don’t even say a word to my elder sister. If I ask for something, they say no, but if she asks, they give it to her. My parents hate me and hardly appreciate anything good I do. They hardly say any good words to me, and don’t mind if I sleep hungry for weeks. But I don’t hate my sister – I like her – but I can’t stand anymore of our parents’ inappropriate behavior! No matter if I’m right, they always say I’m wrong; many people tell them what a bright and good child I am, but they still don’t change. I don’t know what to do! Please help me!

Hi rebecca –

I just can’t be the only one who reads this and thinks “Well I know the solution to her problem, and it involves a prince, some mice, and a pair of glass slippers!”  You really are living the life of Cinderella, rebecca.  But since I’m only a dog, and not a fairy godmother, I can only offer advice, and not a magical coach!

I think there are two important issues here.  First, there’s the issue of the favoritism your parents are showing your sister.  In terms of that, check out my letter to Bella about a similar problem (just type “Bella” into the search box to your right on this page).

But your problem sounds worse than Continue reading

0 Should you reconnect with a parent who abandoned you?

Emmie asks: My dad was never married to my mum, and he moved away when I was little. He moved to Nottingham and for the past thirteen years I see him once a fortnight. He’s moving back to my town and asked my mum if he could see me more. My mum said that he hadn’t bothered for thirteen years, but I think he’s making amends. How can my mum say she knows, and how can I persuade her?

Hi Emmie –

There’s a lot that’s really painful about parents splitting up, and one of the toughest is what you’re going through.  Human children desperately want their parents to love and care for them, and if a parent seems uninterested in that, it leaves a gigantic wound in the kid.

Then, if that adult later wants more contact with the kid, there’s a great conflict:  On one hand, part of the kid (in your case, the part your mom agrees with) says, “Where were you when I needed you before?  Why should I trust you now?”  While the other says, “At last!  I’m finally getting what I’ve needed my whole Continue reading