Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

0 How to deal with a guy who won’t leave you alone

Sakurastars asks: So this guy I met through a friend has been interested in me and I was interested in being in a relationship with him as well. I am new to dating so I guess he wasn’t sure where I stood in liking him or not. So he decided to show me what I was missing by going out with another girl. Me being new to dating, I didn’t mind he was going with this girl. And continued to treat him as a friend. He started to act very strange towards me and even flirt with me in front of this girl he’s supposedly with. One day he got upset about me hanging out with someone else and called me out on it. So, I got upset and asked him why does it matter who I hang out with? He tried to make it my fault and didn’t think he did anything wrong. A day after I asked him what he viewed me as and he told me a friend. After this question he asked me in a expecting way “so…. why did you ask me this?” And I told him he was making me feel uncomfortable. He again he tried to make it my fault and told me it was in my head. I wasn’t going to fall for that. A couple of days after that talk he messages me, “hey pretty lady.” That was the last time I talked to him because I’ve been ignoring him for 4 months now. My question is why is he taking so much effort to talk to me again and why does he keep bothering his friends about me? And how do you get him to simply stop messaging me altogether? I was going to be straight with him and say it’s really sad that you don’t get the hint after 3 months, but I’m not really that mean.

Hi Sakurastars –

Wow, what a story!  At first it sounded pretty sweet, like a lot of romantic comedies where both people are really into each other but neither wants to admit it, and eventually one ends up running away from their wedding or something, and love triumphs over all.

But it sure doesn’t continue that way.

I have to admit, I’m a little confused about the time-frame of your letter.  Did all the events you describe end four months ago, but he’s kept messaging you the whole time?  Or were the four months before he wrote “Hey pretty lady?”  I’m not sure it matters which is right, though.  Because I’m seeing two major issues here.

The first is what’s called a Continue reading

0 How does Shirelle type?

aana asks: Weirdddd….. How can a dog type? What do you use?

Ah aana, you’re very right.  I’ve tried to get a very large typewriter that I could use with a “hunt and peck” method, where I’d put my paw down on each letter, but I certainly can’t use a normal one.

I use a special technology that enables my words to be typed out without my using my paws.  There are lots of these technologies out there these days, for the use of people who have certain disabilities, that allow them to express themselves if they don’t have the use of their hands or voices.  Well, what I use is kind of like that – though I don’t know any other dogs who are also use them.

I am a very lucky pooch!

Cheers,

Shirelle

0 How to treat someone you like who gives mixed signals

Mandhie Asks: There’s a boy at school I like and I know he likes me (and lots of other people can see it too), but he still won’t say it to me, and keeps dating other girls. My feelings toward him are sort of fading away – I can’t waste my precious teenage years loving someone who isn’t ready. But I am still hurt or jealous when I see him with a girl. I feel like giving up but I don’t want to yet. What should I do? Follow my heart or do what is right?

Hi Mandhie –

I think the solution is in your question, but I think your question is wrong!  You ask whether you should do what’s right or follow your heart.  But I’m not sure you know what either of those would dictate.  “What’s right” might be to be careful, to not get involved with a boy who’s going out with lots of girls, to wait for him to come to you, or to go right up to him and tell him you want him to forget those other girls and be your boyfriend.  Your heart might tell you to run away and never look at him again, to throw yourself at him, to send him secret anonymous love notes… or all of those at the same time!

I would argue, in a situation like this, that you shouldn’t do anything that you don’t believe is right, and that you should follow your heart.  In other words, the answer to your question would be “Do both, or Continue reading

0 What is Capitalist Democracy?

Sabbo asks: Define capitalist democracy

Hi Sabbo –

Wow, you’re asking a dog to define capitalist democracy?  You’re a trusting soul!

Well, Democracy is a form of government, mainly from ancient Greece, based on the idea that the people are in charge.  Members of the group (such as citizens of a country, or members of a club) vote to determine such things as who the leaders are, what laws are enacted, or any other major Continue reading

0 How to best react to failure

dumboo asks: What should be our reaction if we fail in achieving something?

Hi dumboo –

There are lots and lots of ways to react when one fails at something.  A few I see often are “Oh No!  I give up!  This is impossible!” and “I don’t believe this!” and “God hates me!” and “I suck!” and “Well I know not to try that again!”

Some others aren’t so verbal.  They might involve bursting into tears, banging one’s head against a wall, or kicking someone.

Another is to immediately try doing what Continue reading

1 Should people stay friends after breaking up

sazuna45 asks: When people date and they break up, they stop talking and they get awkward and they ignore and sometimes even hate, each other. I find that very sad. When best friends start dating and they break up, they stop being friends, they cant even look each other the same way after all that. Don’t you find that sad? Do you think its normal for people to act that way? But most importantly, is it okay if past lovers stay friends? Do you think they can remain friends?

Hi sazuna45 –

Your timing is perfect.

You see, Handsome’s had a lot of girlfriends over the years.  I always like them at first, but some weren’t so crazy about me, so I learned to stay away from them (and eventually, so did Handsome!).  But of course, at least at the beginning, he was nuts about all of them.

Now most of the time, when they broke up, it was the way you describe.  Not necessarily that he hated her or she hated him, but they learned that they were happier keeping some distance from each other.

I guess I both understand and don’t Continue reading

0 How to control jealousy

prettyndsweet12 asks: Do you have any tips on controlling jealousy?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions we have.  Note the word “we.”  We dogs can be very jealous – as any pooch who Handsome’s ever found adorable and cuddly has learned!  “RRROOOWFF!  I’ll teach you to let him scratch your belly!!”

All cultures have stories of jealousy.  In The Bible, the first kids ever born have enough jealousy between them that one kills the other!  That’s some nasty stuff!

I really like your question, because you didn’t ask how to get rid of jealousy (which is impossible), but how to control it.  And that’s something anyone can do.

The trick is to realize that jealousy actually comes from a Continue reading

1 How to handle a spoiled child

mouse asks: My cousin’s 9-year-old sister is too stubborn. She doesn’t even regret that she has failed so many papers, she doesn’t listen to her mom or dad, and she talks rudely. She believes that no one loves her, although her parents get her everything – she just seems to follow something in her mind. Please help!

Hi mouse –

I have to admit, I’m a bit confused about this girl!  First of all, what sort of papers is a nine-year-old assigned to write?  Second, why are her parents giving her ‘everything,’ when she doesn’t listen to them?  And third, does she believe that no one loves her because… no one does?  I’ll try to answer your question, but this is tough material.

It sounds to me like this girl has some real issues with her parents.  They’re giving her lots of stuff, but not giving her the boundaries she needs.  She sounds confused and unsure of what to do, and VERY unhappy about it.

You see, it’s a kid’s job to see what they can Continue reading

0 What happens when we start following others?

dumboo asks: What will happen if we start following others?

Hi dumboo –

When we are young, following others is pretty much all we do.

Who do I mean by “we?”  Well, we dogs definitely follow our mothers and siblings when we’re very young, and when we get interested in a human, we’ll follow you everywhere, all day long!  Have you ever watched ducklings?  They swim in a nearly perfect line behind their mothers when in water, and walk right behind her as well on land.

And you humans?  When you are babies, your primary focus is on your caregivers – whether your parents or someone else – and trying to learn how to be like them.  That’s how humans learn to walk and talk, probably the two most Continue reading

1 Is it wrong to be jealous of people who still have their parents?

Salvatore asks: As you know, my father died a few months ago. Now, whenever my friends talk about their dads, I feel that something is burning inside me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I think it may be jealousy. Please tell me how to overcome this feeling.

Hi Salvatore –

I have written about jealousy a few times.  Usually it’s about romantic jealousy, which can be anything from heartbreaking to fun to, as we know, murderous!

But the jealousy you talk about is something very different.  What happened to your father – and to you and the rest of your family – is absolutely unfair.  There’s nothing you have done – or could have done – to deserve this pain.  And when you hear other kids talk about their fathers, there’s no way it won’t hurt.

Though, of course, unless they’re purposely trying to make you feel bad, this isn’t their Continue reading