Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

0 What to do if you’re scared about growing up

poproxy360 asks: I am scared of growing up and losing my childhood forever. I am not in puberty yet and I don’t have breasts yet either, but I am ten and scared of growing up. What should I do?

Hi poproxy360 –

What you’re asking is as normal as my wanting to chase squirrels! Almost all pre-teens have this fear, though few admit it. So good for you, for your honesty and openness!

You say that you’re scared of growing up. Yet I’ll bet that when you were three years old, you wanted nothing more than to do just that. And probably when you were six. And maybe even when you were nine.

What’s happened is that you’ve suddenly realized that the next stage of growing up isn’t just being a little bigger and stronger and faster, and being able to do a few more things at school. You’re looking straight at the biggest Continue reading

0 What to do when a relationship gets stuck

Twilight Wolves asks: Hello. I hope you can help me or give me a little insight. In December I made a decision I felt was best and my boyfriend did not approve, though he supported me until I realized he was right and I’d made a terrible decision. Since then, I’ve done everything I can to rectify the situation, but he has decided he needs time to think and won’t tell me why. He simply asks that we remain exclusive and that I be patient while he sorts things out. We text everyday several times, but we haven’t seen each other for three months, and he no longer says or responds to “I love you”. I don’t understand what’s happening!!! Any ideas?

Hi Twilight Wolves –

Of course I don’t know exactly what happened between you two, or what you did, but it sounds like your boyfriend has had some trouble knowing and enforcing his own boundaries. When you did whatever it was, he supported you in it. But then, when you changed your mind, said he was right, and became all there for him, he pulled away and said he needs to sort things out.

The one thing I’m sure of is that he’s right – he does need to sort things out. I don’t know if he’s doing it in the best way possible, but he is, now, really taking charge of himself and opening up about where he’s at emotionally.

I’d have to know what really happened to give any more specific advice, but my main thought is Continue reading

0 How to deal with a friend who’s becoming unlikable

pitbull kisses asks: Hi. I am 9 years old. I have a friend who has become so annoying and mean. I don’t want to be friends with her anymore. I tried ignoring her, but she follows me around. If I don’t do what she wants, she is really mean. I also think she does really gross things like pick at her sores. I don’t want people to think I am also gross. I don’t know what to do – she is really stressing me out. Please help!

Hi pitbull kisses –

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Friends are such a great thing to have, and it stinks when a friendship develops problems that threaten to ruin it.

Having said that, it’s clear that your friend is going through a very strange phase. She’s being demanding and mean, and even picking at herself in ways that you and others find disgusting. This might mean that something difficult is going on in her life; if so, maybe you can help her get through it and thereby develop a better friendship than you’ve ever had. But if it’s just her being rude and unaware, then I certainly understand your wish to move on.

Either way, I think you have to do the same thing – which is probably the last thing you’d want to do! And that is to Continue reading

0 Should you stay in a relationship where you’re constantly jealous?

Volcano asks: Hello. Well I’m having relationship issues and don’t know what to do. First, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years. I am ten years older than him. That’s my first issue. I’m always afraid that he will leave me for someone younger so obviously I have trust issues. Especially because of my past relationships. I always question his intentions when he’s being real nice to his female coworkers and so I am very jealous. The most recent time was when I was going to his work for lunch. He asked his female coworker if she wanted anything. She said no. So we ate and after I left he tells me that he was going to go get her food because she was eating some frozen meal and offered once again to go get her something. At this time when he told me that I got furious. I just asked him why is he so considerate for her and he just got mad and said he did it because he did. And then he started telling me how tired he was of me and that it was over. I just kept telling him how could you tell me you love me like two hours ago and kiss me and now it’s over. Just like that. It’s been two weeks since that incident and we’re still living together but he says he just wants to be alone. We haven’t had intimacy and he says he doesn’t want to. I love him and don’t want to lose him but he has been just a different person. So I asked him if everything he’s said is a lie. For Valentine’s Day he sent me thru text something he made for me and said he loved me to till his last breath. So my question is: Can someone just snap and stop loving a person he’s said he loves so much, to not loving them at all? He even said that he thinks that he used to tell me he loved me out of habit and didn’t think he meant it. What can I do to save this relationship? Is it salvageable?

Hi Volcano –

Wow! Okay, I’m seeing two issues here, and I’ll take each on separately. Then it’ll be kinda up to you, how you put the two together.

First – the jealousy thing. I get jealous. Handsome will see some really cute dog and pet it and play with it, and I’ll feel the need to go over and give it a little bit of a whupping. Not to hurt it, but just to let it know that I’m the Queen here, and that it had better remember that. After all, I like that Handsome loves dogs – he always smells so much more interesting after he plays with them!

But that doesn’t mean that I have the kinds of suspicion that you humans have. After all, if I smell another dog on Handsome’s hands or clothes, there’s nothing for me to worry about; I just know that he’s been petting another dog. But for you, and other humans, it’s all about suspicion: you see your boyfriend get a woman something to eat, and you instantly suspect everything from him preferring her to you, to him actually cheating on you, to him leaving you!

And while this is a completely natural act of your superior, imaginative brains, the advice from this simple, small-brained dog is: Continue reading

0 How to keep someone who’s been hurt from enacting vengeance

Graciano_Durai asks: I have a friend from school. He’s from three Middle Eastern Countries and one Central African Country. He’s from Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and his farther grandmother comes from the Democratic Republic of Congo. He wishes he could go back to the Middle East. Even with all the terror, He still prefers The Islamic Republic of Iran, Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, Republic of Iraq, and the Democratic Republic of Congo. He hates one thing the most out of all things: America. He’s hated America ever since he was five, after an American bomber plane killed a friend of his and his whole family, along with his dog. Ever since then, I’m afraid he’s just going to just blow up; because he’s a ticking time bomb, he is waiting for the perfect moment to release his anger and hatred. What exactly can I do to keep him from both bottling his anger and not to release his anger all at once?

Hi Graciano_Durai –

I would love to start my answer by saying that we dogs never act out of vengeance, that we’re above that sort of thing. But the truth is, we’re not. One day Handsome and I were visiting his brother’s home, and I saw his parents’ dog Buster, through a window, eating my food out of my bowl. Over twelve hours later, I was able to meet up with Buster, and dove onto her to beat her up and let her know that was unacceptable behavior! I didn’t want to injure her at all, or certainly to kill her. I just wanted to show her who was boss. But it means I can relate to your friend, if only a little.

I can’t blame your friend one bit for his anger or his hurt. War simply stinks, even if it’s got some moral justification (such as if someone’s fighting to protect themselves or their home), and too often it doesn’t even have that. I live in the United States, and I like a lot of the values our country has, but Continue reading

1 Does dating hurt or help school performance?

pizzasquare asks: Does dating affect test scores differently for boys and girls? What I mean is that, if a girl went into a relationship with a boy, would her academics be likely to drop or raise? And what would be the case if a boy entered a relationship with a girl?

Hi pizzasquare –

This is a great question, and I’m going to give you a really weird answer to it: Does buying a puppy raise or lower academic scores?

It’s not hard to come up with an answer. Let’s say a good student who spends three hours a night on homework buys a puppy and falls head over heels in love with it. From the moment she gets home, she wants nothing more than to play with the little ankle-biter, to cuddle him, to dress him up, to take him on walks, to show him to her friends, to post pictures of him online, all that. Then when she studies, she wants to have him there with her, but she’s constantly distracted by how amazingly cute he is when he sleeps (because he’s very bored by her history book unless he can chew on it). Then she wants to have him by her on her bed when she sleeps as well, and he wakes up every couple of hours needing to play or pee. What happens to her marks in school? They plummet! She goes from an A-student to a C-student in a matter of weeks!

Okay, but let’s look at another Continue reading

0 Is there something wrong with only wanting to write or draw certain things?

Graciano_Durai asks: I tell myself from time to time that I’m into something. I have a knack for drawing (NO HUMANS), Knack for Writing (War/Romance/Dystopia Fiction, NO HUMANS), but I keep replacing people with anthropomorphic animals, and my friends call me a “furry” Even though I ponder the question from time to time, what is it exactly, and could I be one?

Hi Graciano_Durai –

Well I have to admit, I’ve never heard a human called a “furry” before, but I can sure say one thing – if anyone’s a furry, I am!  I’m furry all over, even on my tummy (where some dogs are bare-skinned).  I love my fur, and I find that almost everyone loves the fact that I have it (though Handsome does sometimes yell out that he wishes I didn’t shed quite so much – especially when he’s wearing that nice black suit and I jump on him and cover it in white hairs!).

What hits me about your question is that you are discovering that you have a true Continue reading

0 How to sleep better

poproxy360 asks: I have a really hard time falling asleep and I am tired each day. Any advice on how to quickly fall asleep? I searched the Internet, but nothing works.

Hi poproxy360 –

Sleep is one of the strangest things about life. We don’t pay it nearly as much attention as we should. Think about it – we spend maybe an hour every day eating, and maybe ten minutes total drinking fluids, and the history of the world tells huge amounts about the searches for food and water, and how important that’s been. But sleep is just as important as they are. And while it’s no problem at all to go a while without as much sleep as one would like (everyone does that at times – certainly everyone who’s ever taken care of a baby!), true lack of sleep can be injurious, or even fatal.

What’s so fascinating about it is the process. What exactly is it? Sure, we’re tired after a long day. But what exactly happens when we “conk out?” What happens in the brain? How do we switch from awareness of what’s around us to a dreaming state? How much of sleep is about dealing with what’s happened that day?

When Handsome was training me, I would often get very confused with the lessons. “Something’s going on where when he says the word Sit, and I don’t do anything, or walk over to him, he gets bothered, but if I put my butt on the ground he gives me a treat. Why is that? What should I do?” I would feel kind of dizzy afterward, exhausted. And then I’d take a nap. And while I was asleep, my brain would put the information I’d gotten together. And then I’d wake up, and suddenly “get it!” I knew to put my butt down when he said Sit, and that if I did so I’d get a treat and all sorts of affection from him. Great!

The difference between me on those days, and you today, poproxy360, is very important. I was falling asleep instantly, the second I had the chance to, while you’re having trouble doing it at all. This is bad for your body, and bad for your brain!

I do have some simple suggestions. But if none of them work, I urge you to Continue reading

0 What’s the best way to deal with having told a lie?

annakellyjelly asks: I created an iMessage account without my parents knowing. My friends know, so I was sick and in the hospital and I texted my friend this morning. I told my friend I was sick and I was in the hospital, she called and my mom answered. My friend asked for me and my mom said I wasn’t feeling well, my friend said that she knew because I was in the hospital. So my mom asked her how she knew… My mom does not think I told anyone anything, she thought it was just her and her parents and my dad and sis who knew because I had just come out of the hospital. My mom asked my friend how she knew. When my friend realized she had just screwed up, so she said that this girl in our class had told her. My mom wants me to ask the girl how she knows when I go to school tomorrow, and tomorrow is a half-day, so what do I do? Should I tell my mom about iMessage or just make something up? If I make something up what should I say? If I tell the truth how do I say it? I mean I am only 10. Help!!!

Hi annakellyjelly –

I have to be honest with you about this.

When I say that, I don’t mean that I think I should be honest with you, I’m saying that I literally have to be honest with you. And that’s because dogs don’t lie. We simply don’t know how to.

Some people think dogs lie to them. They’ll feed their dog, and an hour later that pooch is whining and looking longingly at them, asking for food, and they’ll say “Stop lying! I already fed you!” But the dog isn’t lying. The dog is saying he would really like something to eat. And that’s the truth!

The reason I bring this up is that I’m no good at helping people come up with good lies. I just don’t have the brains for it.

But you know what I find? I find most people aren’t all that great at it either. For example, we always hear that politicians are great liars. But the reason we hear about politicians lying is that they get caught at it so often! They’ll lie about who they’re making secret deals with, they’ll lie about what they’re going to do if elected, they’ll lie about who they’re romantically involved with, they’ll lie about why they want to go to war, they’ll lie about specifics of a program they’re putting through… and they get caught on every one of them! (If you haven’t figured this out, the list of lies I just gave includes every US president of the last 34 years!)

And this is what’s bad about lying. Lies aren’t always morally wrong; sometimes lying is the Continue reading

0 When and where to give advice?

poproxy360 asks: I love giving advice but I don’t know where to do it. Where can I give advice to people?

Hi poproxy360 –

I find that one can give advice anywhere, and I mean anywhere, but only as long as the other person WANTS the advice.  I see people give advice all the time, and get resented for it, because the person giving it isn’t paying any attention to what the other person wants to hear.

For example, if you wore something to school tomorrow, and I thought it looked lousy, and told you so, you’d probably be very hurt.  But if, instead, Continue reading