Category Archives for "Family"

0 How to deal with a nervous pre-teen

Nono asks: How can I deal with a pre-adolescent boy, twelve years old? I’m a single mother, and he has no brothers or sisters. He recently became very nervous. My blood pressure always rises when we have any conversation together, because his arguments have no end and his voice is becoming louder (though afterwards he apologizes). This happens at least ten times a day, and I’m afraid that one day I’ll get fed up talking to him! We’re still friends, but I’m afraid to lose that. Please guide me as to how to deal with him.

Hi Nono –

I’m of two minds on this (which is very hard for a dog – you know our brains are a lot smaller than yours!).  First, it’s very normal for a boy of around twelve to become ruder, more aggressive, and louder.  But second, I wonder about your saying “he recently became very nervous,” like: is there something other than the beginnings of adolescence going on?

With the first instance, the best news I can give you is that this should end completely – in about six or seven Continue reading

0 What to do when your grades suddenly fall

ZeeTan99 asks: I am an A-grade student (13 yrs old) but the problem is that I’m pretty sure I’ll get a D or something in TWO SUBJECTS! Tomorrow I’m gonna get my report card, and I don’t know how I’m going to show it to my parents. I’m having nightmares about this, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s got me really stressed you can’t imagine. So please please, tell me what to do. I’m very very confused and I could really use someone’s help.

Hi ZeeTan99 –

Oh I know that feeling!  It’s like when I was being perfectly good and quiet and watching out the window, and a cat suddenly appeared just outside, and I jumped up yelling and broke a pane of glass!  And I hadn’t meant to do it, but I knew Handsome was going to walk into the room and be very unhappy about it!  You’re in exactly the position I was in as I heard his footsteps approach the doorway!

But do you know what happened when he got to me?  Sure, he was shocked at what had happened.  But then he checked my nose and my paws, to make sure there wasn’t any glass in them, and then he put me out back, so I wouldn’t step on anything sharp, and then he cleaned all the glass up very carefully.  Because he was way more worried about me than he was upset about the broken glass.

Now sure, when he paid the glazier who repaired the pane, he did give me an exasperated look and mutter “You knucklehead!”  But overall, he reacted to my mistake with love and concern, not anger.

Now, there’s a good chance that, if you’re right about your grades, your parents will first react with Continue reading

0 When and how to change schools

prettyndsweet12 asks: I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe if so many people at my school are continuing to be rude and mean to me, to the point where I can’t even get an education, then maybe I should just leave that school. How can I send the message to my mom that I am not happy where I am, and that I really want to leave? I’ve done this before, but, as you can see, I am still stuck in the same sticky situation, and I want out!

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Oh I’m so sorry this situation hasn’t gotten any better!  Have you tried the things I suggested before?

If so, then I’m really of two opinions here (and that’s very difficult for a dog – our brains aren’t as big as yours, you know!).  On one hand, I will gladly give you some suggestions on how to talk to your mom about switching schools.  But on the other, I don’t know if it’s really worth the Continue reading

0 What to do when you’re attracted to a friend’s or relative’s spouse

Pradeep asks: I like my brother’s wife. She is so sexy and I like her very much. What should I do?

Hi Pradeep –

Oh boy is that a tough situation!  I usually suggest to people that they pursue the people they’re attracted to, but in your case, that would almost certainly be a disaster!

So here are my suggestions:

1)    Try to spend more time with other women.  Date other women.  Befriend other women.  Go see movies with lots of beautiful women in them.  Your sister-in-law may be wonderful, but she’s not the only beautiful, sexy, likable woman in the world.  Work to make yourself more aware of this.

2)    To whatever degree you can, it’s probably best to stay away from her for a little while.  I realize you like each other a lot, but this could get really painful for you, and you should be kind to your own Continue reading

0 How to handle the beginnings of teenage rebellion

Tata asks: I am really worried about my 10-year-old daughter. She does not hear me when I talk to her the first time. And she always answers back to me.

Hi Tata –

Well the easy answer for me to give you is… she’s right on schedule.  Your daughter is entering adolescence.

Now you probably entered this stage a bit later than she did.  Kids are definitely growing up more quickly than they used to.  This is due to everything from media to chemicals in food, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  It’s not a bad thing necessarily, but it can be very frustrating, especially to those who would love to see all humans stop aging at age five, when they’re Continue reading

0 Is spanking okay?

Jevisus asks: What is the biblical way of parenting when it comes to correct behavior of the children. Does the Bible allow spanking?

Hi Jevisus –

As a dog, I am not an expert on Biblical teachings.  But I believe that the Bible would have no trouble with spanking, just as it seems to condone slavery and child labor, and a lot of other things that are considered wrong in most societies today.  While the Bible teaches many important lessons, it’s also important to remember that it was written in a very different time, when people had very different values. So it might well argue that it’s okay to whip one’s child, but I don’t think most Jews or Christians today would agree that that is okay.

The laws about spanking where I live are pretty Continue reading

0 What to do when your parents ask you to choose between them

Super dooper asks: My parents are split and now my mum is angry because my dad is taking me for holidays for a week during the time she is meant to have me and now she is making me choose. Please help! I do not know what to do.

Hi super dooper –

My friend, you are in an absolute stew of unfairness.  It’s always unfair to kids when parents split up, it’s unfair when decisions get made about where they’ll have to be at what time, and oh boy it is especially unfair when the parents make the kid take responsibility for their choices.  You are absolutely living this, and I am so very Continue reading

0 How to stop a kid from interrupting my friends

Moona asks: My child is 5 years old. He is good in studies and other activities, though he was very hyper in his early years. Now he is better, but he has a problem of always interrupting when someone else is talking – especially when some guests come. He’ll talk to them unnecessarily and speak foolish words that the guest also doesn’t like. How can I make him stop it?

Hi Moona –

The reason I say it’s so interesting is that I’m not sure there’s anything wrong at all.

Lots of times, young children are “hyper,” not because they actually have the physiological condition of ADHD, but because they’re really smart!  And there’s so much going on in their head all the time that they need to get it all out!  It’s like when I was a puppy and wanted to run every direction at once, lick everyone, sniff everyone, and bite everyone – all at the same time.   Then when I went to obedience school, I was a really good student, best in my class.  But I still behaved the same way with Handsome all the rest of the time.

Your son sounds kind of like me in this!  He sounds like a great kid, but one who needs (as I did) to be trained in some social skills.  So I think your trick is to do some dog-style Continue reading

1 What to do when you upset your mother

saf1 asks: hey Shirelle, I have a huge problem – I always make my mum cry, and it hurts me inside; I think I am gonna kill myself! What can I do to resolve all my problems with my parents?

Hi saf1 –

Of course, there’s not much I can say to help, since I don’t know what’s actually happening between you and your mother.  There are lots of ways to make a mother cry.  I did it by still trying to nurse after my teeth had grown in!

What worries me, of course, is how much this is bothering you.  It sounds like you’re bothering your mother without ever wanting to.  That might be her issue more than yours.  Do you know why she’s crying?  Do you know what it is that’s affecting her this way?  Because if you don’t, then you’re in a really difficult Continue reading

0 How to be a long-distance uncle

Eddy asks: I want to talk to my nephews far away in Australia, but when I call them I don’t know what to say to them. They look so distant and I feel the impact so strongly. It’s as if something is wrong.

Hi Eddy –

Oh there’s nothing quite like being an uncle or aunt, is there!  You’re so fond of those kids, but you’re not their parent, so it’s hard to create exactly the relationship you want with them.  Especially if they’re very far away, like on another continent!  I don’t know how old your nephews are, but there’s a really good chance that you’re right – they are growing in their own world, their own lives, and you’re not a part of it.

Because of this, you have two jobs.  The first one is to find a way to visit them!  And when you get there, to have a total Continue reading