What to do when you upset your mother

saf1 asks: hey Shirelle, I have a huge problem – I always make my mum cry, and it hurts me inside; I think I am gonna kill myself! What can I do to resolve all my problems with my parents?

Hi saf1 –


Of course, there’s not much I can say to help, since I don’t know what’s actually happening between you and your mother.  There are lots of ways to make a mother cry.  I did it by still trying to nurse after my teeth had grown in!

What worries me, of course, is how much this is bothering you.  It sounds like you’re bothering your mother without ever wanting to.  That might be her issue more than yours.  Do you know why she’s crying?  Do you know what it is that’s affecting her this way?  Because if you don’t, then you’re in a really difficult position!

If I were there, I’d try to create a conversation, where you and she sit down and really talk about what’s going on.  And if that’s possible, that’s what I’d like to see you do.  But in the meantime, I want you to realize that you’re not responsible for all her feelings, and as long as you’re doing your best, and acting on your best impulses, you’re doing about as well as you can.

The other truth is that what parents want most is for their children to be happy and successful.  So your feeling so bad, and thinking about doing awful things to yourself, aren’t cheering her up a bit!  Much better to put her favorite song on the stereo, make her some chocolate chip cookies, and pick her some flowers!!!


Good Luck my friend,


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spike - January 20, 2012 Reply

am so sorry about you and your mom i think that children should think about what you say to your parents, when loos respect to words them,so we most always think about what we are gonna say before we speak ,so think about what i say and take it into consideration. bye now.

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