Category Archives for "Family"

0 Why is my child so difficult in the morning?

Jupica asks: My kid is 3 years old, and she does a big show in the morning, because she won’t clean her mouth or brush her teeth. She cries and screams a lot, making a big noise. That takes sometimes half hour, and we are almost always late to school. Do you have any nice and easy idea that works in my case?

Hi Jupica –

I have two thoughts, which are completely different from each other.  One is really common and should be fixable pretty easily; and the other is rarer, and really important to get to work on if that’s the case.

My first thought is – you have a 3-year-old who’s going to school.  That’s pretty young, and she might well just hate going there and feeling abandoned by you (even if she actually has a good time once she’s Continue reading

0 Why do people break up after many years?

smart panther asks: Why do some couples take a separation after a long time (like 18 Years) together ?

Hi smart panther –

As I’m sure you know, there is nothing in the world more loyal than a dog. We will stick by the ones we’ve bonded to, no matter what. How often do you see a poor hungry homeless person, maybe even mentally ill, but with a faithful dog next to them who’d rather die than live apart?

So I may not be the best one to ask about why people would separate after being together for years. But I’ve checked with some humans, and here are some of the responses I’ve gotten:

1) More than dogs, people change and grow, continually, through their Continue reading

0 What to do with a hyperactive baby

toddlers asks: My baby girl is nine months old. I find her to be a hyperactive child. How should I handle her psychologically?

Hi toddlers –

It’s very normal for a nine-month-old baby to be super-active, and get into everything.  That’s what I was like as a puppy too!  If that’s what you’re talking about, then there’s nothing to worry about except your own exhaustion.  But if the baby is truly acting abnormal in her sleep patterns, mood, or inability to focus, you should definitely take her to a medical doctor, to have her tested.

In terms of ADHD, though, it’s way too early for that to be Continue reading

0 What to do when a family won’t go into therapy

ardnaskela asks: My cousin (who I see about once a year) has an 15-year-old daughter, beginning high school. She hates her parents, and is blackmailing them. She is very clever, but uses her brain in a negative way. Her mother never finished college, and is lost. Her father is alcoholic. She doesn’t want to go to school, or see a psychologist. I know that the whole family needs help. Is there any solution? How to make her go to school again, or to make her go to the psychologist?

Hi ardnaskela –

I have a couple of questions for you, but let me start by saying that this situation is something else!!

First of all, what do you mean when you say that her mother is “lost?”  Are you referring to her not knowing what to do with her daughter, or that she’s lost in her life in general, or… I assume you don’t mean she’s actually missing from her home?

And when you say that she’s “blackmailing” her parents – is she literally demanding money from them for not saying something?  Or is she just doing what many call “emotional Continue reading

0 How to deal with not getting enough money from your caregivers

tinno 06 asks: My uncle and aunt pay for my school fees but they do not pay enough. I suffer at school, but I can’t tell them. This has made me less social – I can’t associate with my friends because in the middle of the term I run out of money, and I don’t eat on Saturday. What should I do? At school I have attitude because am not happy at home. I feel like am not loved. All the time I cry, and I live a fake sad life at school. I do not have clothes, so I have this bad habit of getting people’s things. I really need help please help me.

Hi tinno 06 –

tinno 06, this letter might be even sadder than the one about your father!  I am so sorry you’re going through this!

Money is one of the parts about humanity that I have lots of trouble understanding.  I mean, I like the idea of a token economy (no dog could have ever come up with that!), but the way that people have so many feelings about it, that just mystifies me.  Rich people are ashamed to admit how much money they have, poor people are ashamed to admit that they don’t have much, and someone like you who’s getting money from someone doesn’t feel they have the right to tell them that the amount isn’t Continue reading

0 Should a teen get the hairstyle her mother wants?

Marceline asks: I’m 11 years old. My mom wants me to cut my hair. To align with my chin… I really wanted my hair to be long, but my mom doesn’t want that. What should I do? Do you think hair to the chin is good?

Hi Marceline –

Well, first off, I have to say, I am not a beautician, or a fashion expert.  My hair has been the same length all my life.  It doesn’t grow; I just shed a lot.  I do take a lot of care in grooming, by licking myself all over and biting any rotten little fleas that have jumped onto me.  And I like it when I have a new collar that looks pretty on my orange hair.  But when it comes to things like hair length, or clothes, or jewelry, I’m just not the one to ask!

What I can maybe help a bit with, though, is what to do if you and your mom disagree about your Continue reading

0 What to do with a teenager who wants to move away

buffy1 asks: I have a 16-year-old son who seems to have lost his mind with his first girlfriend. He is terribly aggressive, he has failed 2 schools in one year after being a 70% average student, he won’t listen to reason, he ran away from home a few weeks ago, and now he wants to move 750 km away just to be with his new girlfriend. How do I deal with this?

Hi buffy1 –

I don’t know where you live, but the first question I have is about laws.  (For example, if I run away from home, I’m just going to get picked up by dog-catchers, regardless of my reasons!)

Does your son have the right to move away without your permission?  Was he legally allowed to run away from home?  I don’t know those things, and of course those are huge elements of any good answer for you.

But not knowing those, I have one really strong reaction to your question:  Is That Continue reading

0 Should a teenager try to get to know the father who abandoned them?

tinno 06 asks: I am hurting. I really want to know my dad, and I have tried, but I have failed. It hurts me so much that am expected to be like everyone else and forget about him because he walked out on my mum when she was pregnant. Am I wrong to do this?

Hi tinno 06 –

One of the saddest things a human can go through is being abandoned by a parent.  For lots of people, it means they spend their life angry at, or even hating, that parent.  But as you point out, for some others, it’s a different pain – that they want to find that parent and get to know them, maybe even get close to them, while those around them tell them not to.

Deep down, the basic fact is that it’s all unfair, tinno 06.  It just stinks that anyone ever goes through this.  And, given that fact, your job is just to figure out how you Continue reading

0 Why are kids at school easier to understand than those in your family?

smart panther asks: As a teacher, why it is easy for me to understand my students, but hard to understand my own kids? Or is it that our own kids just don’t understand our instructions?

Hi smart panther –

I think the answer is pretty simple.  Think about dogs.  I’ll bet you think dogs are pretty easy to understand.  They have a few drives, some friendly, some aggressive.  They want food and play and love, and do what they can to get them.  Right?

But that’s because you don’t know them well.  Handsome has spent years studying me, because he finds me fascinating.  He is absolutely amazed and perplexed by the ways my mind works.  Now I’m not that different from other dogs; it’s just that he’s looking at me so closely.

When you go to your school to teach, every child there has a bunch of Continue reading

0 What to do with a child who has rejected the family, and wants to come back

husky asks: My son is 18 years old, and first left home at 17 for 3 months. He returned and stayed for about two weeks, then left again when he was 18. He said he’s old enough and wants his freedom, but at the time he was still in high school. I’m very hurt by this. When he left the first time, I could not sleep and could hardly eat anything. Why was this child doing this? My family brought him home: and I was so happy he was back. When he left again I was heart broken, this is my first born, and I’ve done everything I could possibly do for this child. This has really hurt me and I’m awake at night sometimes crying to myself. Everybody in my family has had their say, but not one of them knows how I feel. I have not spoken to him in 6 months, but now he wants to come back home. He is my son, but he has stolen from me and he disgraced our family name when he left. He said he did not need me and that he had another mother to take care of him. It looks like the world was not the place he thought it would be so he wants to come back home. What should I do?

Hi husky –

What a sad tale this is!  It reminds me of some very old stories, from ancient legends, from myths, and even the famous tale of the Prodigal Son from The Bible.  There’s a lot I don’t know about the situation, but I think I have a suggestion.

First of all, I don’t know why your son left.  I don’t know what he was angry or dissatisfied with.  I do know, though, that at 17, many teens are so Continue reading