Category Archives for "Behavior"

0 How to stop fighting with your sibling

Serena asks: I and my younger brother always have petty fights. What do I do about it?

Hi Serena –

I don’t know how old you and your brother are, or whether these are physical fights or just arguments.  But either way, there’s a basic truth, which is Sibling Rivalry.  Siblings argue and fight, and that’s been true throughout history, and for puppies as well as humans.  The important thing is to be able to move past it as well and as smoothly as possible.

That’s very hard, I know.  Even though you’re older (and I assume, bigger), both of you have instincts that are hard to beat.  But here are some ways to gain some power, so that at least he won’t start these fights so Continue reading

0 How to treat someone in a bad mood

ASERI asks: How should I treat my boyfriend when he’s in a bad mood?

Hi Aseri –

Like all dogs, I am extremely sensitive to the moods of those I’m close to.  I’ll sense that someone I love is sad, and put my head in their lap, or pick up that someone is tense, and avoid them.  So I understand your wish to treat your boyfriend in the right way when he’s in a bad mood.

What I don’t know, though, is what sort of bad mood you mean.  Is he feeling sad, depressed, hopeless, tense, frustrated, angry, or something else?

Regardless, of course the first thing I’ll say to you is to make sure you stay Continue reading

0 How to adjust to your child entering adolescence

purelove asks: I have a problem with my 11-year-old daughter. She hates us, her parents, for not always giving what she wants, she is always jealous of her brothers and envies her friends. She is turning away from us, and even writes that she hates her parents. She is also entertaining a boy at this age. What should I do?

Hi purelove –

Well, I have good news and bad news.  It sounds like your daughter has hit adolescence, and is a teenager a year or two early.  The good news is that she will grow through this, and become more like the person she used to be.  The bad news is that that might take anywhere from a year to eight!

There’s no perfect and easy solution to changing the behavior of a teenager going through this time.  But there are a few things that can help.

First – listen to her as much as you Continue reading

0 How to speak up in the classroom

shae asks: How can I be noticed in class, and how can I stop being quiet in class?

Hi shae –

This is really interesting.  See, grownups have been trying to get kids to SHUT UP in class for thousands of years!  I’ve never heard the other side of the issue before!

But I’m guessing that you’re not asking about how to talk with other kids, act silly, giggle, and make the teacher furious.  I’m thinking you want to be more a part of class, less shy, and more assertive.

The important question we need to look at, in order to help this along, is Why you’ve had trouble with this.  After all, I imagine every teacher you’ve ever had has encouraged their students to be involved in class.  So what’s gotten in your Continue reading

1 How to move on from bad memories

Mention asks: How can I forget my bad memories from when I was hurt in the past?

Hi Mention –

That’s a great question.  People always tell us to move on past the bad things in our pasts, and live life in the present.  But how can we do that when those bad memories just won’t let us go?!

Well, here’s the deal – those memories are there for a very good reason.  They’re there to protect you from making mistakes again.  Now if the memory is that your hand really hurt the last time you put it onto a hot stove, that’s great and will truly serve you forever.  But let’s say the memory is something more like “I went on a date with a girl and she treated me horribly.”  Well, your mind might tell you that going on a date again would be as dumb an idea as putting your hand back onto that stove.

The trick with memories like this, ones that argue things that aren’t completely true, is to have a Continue reading

1 How can parents discipline their children when they don’t agree on rules?

anesha asks: How do and my husband and myself both agree on the proper way to correct my son? We don’t always agree and afterwards he then realizes that sometimes I am right.

Hi anesha –

You are absolutely correct to ask about this.  Experts on parenting all agree that (within certain bounds) what the rules of your home are doesn’t matter nearly as much as does the consistency of them.  For example, some homes allow dogs to climb on all the furniture, and some don’t allow any of that.  Handsome decided that it was okay with him for me to climb onto his bed, but not any other furniture, especially his white couch!  And since he was clear about that, I learned the rules very easily.  But if there had been someone else in the house telling me I wasn’t allowed onto the bed, or that it was okay for me to get my paws on the couch, I’d be very frustrated.  And… and here’s the most important part… I’d lose respect for all the

Continue reading

2 How to handle early sexual urges

Mandy asks: What is it with sex, that I keep on thinking about it? I dream of it every night and its scaring me. What should I do? I don’t want to lose my virginity, but I am thinking too much about it!

Hi Mandy –   Thanks for your very open and honest question.  I’m first going to suggest you read my post, responding to Angelbrat’s question about her survey on why teenagers think about sex so much.    So Mandy, beyond that, my general answer to your question is:  Why should you be different from every other teenager in the world?!  Of course you’re thinking about sex, dreaming about sex, and wanting it.   But there’s a great reason why these hormones don’t kick in till a kid reaches a certain age.  You see, if a little child felt these things, nothing would keep them from Continue reading

0 How to handle the beginnings of teenage rebellion

Tata asks: I am really worried about my 10-year-old daughter. She does not hear me when I talk to her the first time. And she always answers back to me.

Hi Tata –

Well the easy answer for me to give you is… she’s right on schedule.  Your daughter is entering adolescence.

Now you probably entered this stage a bit later than she did.  Kids are definitely growing up more quickly than they used to.  This is due to everything from media to chemicals in food, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  It’s not a bad thing necessarily, but it can be very frustrating, especially to those who would love to see all humans stop aging at age five, when they’re Continue reading

0 Is spanking okay?

Jevisus asks: What is the biblical way of parenting when it comes to correct behavior of the children. Does the Bible allow spanking?

Hi Jevisus –

As a dog, I am not an expert on Biblical teachings.  But I believe that the Bible would have no trouble with spanking, just as it seems to condone slavery and child labor, and a lot of other things that are considered wrong in most societies today.  While the Bible teaches many important lessons, it’s also important to remember that it was written in a very different time, when people had very different values. So it might well argue that it’s okay to whip one’s child, but I don’t think most Jews or Christians today would agree that that is okay.

The laws about spanking where I live are pretty Continue reading

0 How to stop a kid from interrupting my friends

Moona asks: My child is 5 years old. He is good in studies and other activities, though he was very hyper in his early years. Now he is better, but he has a problem of always interrupting when someone else is talking – especially when some guests come. He’ll talk to them unnecessarily and speak foolish words that the guest also doesn’t like. How can I make him stop it?

Hi Moona –

The reason I say it’s so interesting is that I’m not sure there’s anything wrong at all.

Lots of times, young children are “hyper,” not because they actually have the physiological condition of ADHD, but because they’re really smart!  And there’s so much going on in their head all the time that they need to get it all out!  It’s like when I was a puppy and wanted to run every direction at once, lick everyone, sniff everyone, and bite everyone – all at the same time.   Then when I went to obedience school, I was a really good student, best in my class.  But I still behaved the same way with Handsome all the rest of the time.

Your son sounds kind of like me in this!  He sounds like a great kid, but one who needs (as I did) to be trained in some social skills.  So I think your trick is to do some dog-style Continue reading