How to react when someone a boyfriend or girlfriend gets close fast and then cuts you off fast

rohit1996 asks: Two weeks ago I started relationship with a girl. We talked everyday with messages and calls. I shared all my secrets with her, and she was also very friendly with me. But suddenly, I don’t know how, she stopped conversation with me. Even when I message her she says, “I have no mood to talking this time, we have to talk later,” and later she can’t reply to my message. This thing happened two or three times in the last two days. Now she isn’t replying to my message. What can I do now?

Hi rohit1996 –

 

As a dog, I’m very used to having a problem with time.  My human, Handsome, who I love more than life, will leave me at home in the morning.  And after an hour or so, I’m in a mix of terror that he’s never coming home and I’ll be locked in the yard forever, and awful grief at losing my beloved.  Then he’ll come home – in the afternoon, the same time as he almost always does, and I’ll go nuts!  I can’t control myself, barking, running in circles, and covering him in kisses.

 

Now the “hello” is great, but the hours before it are just awful.

 

So why am I telling you this?  Because you’re talking about a very short time.  You met this girl two weeks ago, and for two days she’s been very distant.  My friend, you’re worrying too much.  In fact, I know that, because you’re worrying like ME!

 

So my first bit of advice to you is to relax, and give her some space.  Maybe she’s super-busy with some work.  Or maybe she’s trying to figure out just how she feels about you (and needs some room to think).  Or it could be that she’s just feeling bad and in a lousy mood.  Either way, a little breathing room will help.

 

But secondly, I want to caution you against moving so fast in a relationship.  No one needs to know every secret from their new boyfriend or girlfriend right away.  It’s nice to keep a little bit of mystery about you.  Sure, tell her what you want in life, and what you’re proudest of, but you can wait a while before telling her that you have a history of getting in trouble for peeing on the rug under the dining table (oops – that was ME telling too many secrets!).

 

So if I’m right, and she’s just needed some time away from you, I’d suggest that you play it a bit cooler when you two reconnect.  Still talk.  But put more effort into playing, making her laugh, being silly, than in opening up more.

 

If this works out, you’ll have all the time in the world to let her know more about you.  Instead, for now, just let her know how much fun it is to be with you!  That’ll get her calling back way more!

 

Best of Luck!

Shirelle

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