Blessing special asks:
How do I get over someone I really like? After we spent time for the first time (cause we have been talking for a while), we finally met through a friend of mine – but even before we met he didn’t want any strings attached even though we liked each other. And then it wasn’t all good because he’s this kind of bossy type that always wants to do all the talking and giving out instructions. I always try not to make mistakes because he doesn’t hesitate to judge my mistake or point it out, but I really liked him because he was cool. As well we had some great moments, but when I got back he no longer talked or called me as before. When I asked, he said I wasn’t the vibe he needed, and it really hurt me so much! I have been trying to get over it!
Hi Blessing special –
I have seen this same situation so many times. We dogs tend to fall in love with whoever takes care of us, but you humans have a crazy tendency to fall in love with people who treat you horribly! I’ve seen it in so many letters, and even at home. I remember a few years back, Handsome was just nuts about this woman who had many wonderful qualities but treated him horribly (not abusive, just pulling him in, pushing him away, back and forth). Eventually she broke up with him and he was simply devastated. A friend of his said the words I couldn’t speak, “I know you’re heartbroken, but I have to say I’m glad she left you. I couldn’t stand to watch her keep hurting you anymore.”
So lots of people will tell you their suggestions on how to get over this guy. “Eat a tub of ice cream.” “Go out with ten other guys.” “Dye your hair light green.” I can’t say which of these will help or won’t, but I do know that the only way you’ll truly get over him is to make a change in your attitude toward yourself, where you say, “It doesn’t matter how great he is in other regards. I deserve someone who treats me well.”
And what does “treat well” mean to you? Does it mean showering you with jewelry and flowers? Writing you love songs? Taking you out lots to help you escape from the boredom of your job? Maybe. Maybe not. But I can tell you what it doesn’t include: “No strings attached,” bossing you around, judging your mistakes, ghosting you, or saying “you’re not the vibe I need!” In other words, you deserve someone who’s at least better than this guy!
Blessing special, you are a special blessing! Any guy who can’t see that isn’t worthy of you. And the only one making you be in relationships that feel bad is you.
So my answer is to like yourself better, and value yourself more. You wouldn’t accept a person kicking a dog, so why would you accept a guy who treated anyone that way, especially you?
You deserve better. If you don’t know it yet, take my word for it. You do.
And the day you learn that is the day you’ll be over him – and anyone else like him – forever!
Here’s hoping it’s soon!