When you fully trust someone does that mean you don’t get jealous anymore? What does it mean to really fully trust someone?
Hi PERFECTION –
That’s a really great question. I think there are two answers – and both are… yes.
Here’s what I’m thinking. I trust Handsome with every molecule in me. I know he can make mistakes (like accidentally stepping on my tail!), but I know he would never do anything to hurt me on purpose. He always wants the best for me. No question.
But because I value him so much, I can go a little crazy when he’s too friendly with another dog. But I don’t get mad at him, I just get very rough with the pooch – making sure he or she knows “That Man Is Mine!” I don’t want anyone trying to steal him away, or to get too much of his attention that I love so much.
But that’s one kind of jealousy. There’s the other kind that eats at one’s soul. It has less to do with what anyone else is doing than about ourselves – when a person feels they’re not good enough, they’re terrified that their partner is going to see them that same way, and leave them for someone more attractive, richer, stronger, whatever.
So to get back to your question – if I trust someone fully, I might get jealous of someone else’s interest in them, but I also could have such a low opinion of myself that I get jealous out of the thought that they’ll start seeing me the same way I do. It’s two different kinds of jealousy (and I can tell you, the first kind is a lot more pleasant to live with!).
But when you ask what it means to fully trust someone, I’ll go back to what I said about Handsome and my tail. Sure you might idealize someone and think they’re perfect and can never make mistakes – but you’ll be wrong. But if you see them as they are, and know that they care fully about you, then yes that’s a legitimate way of fully trusting in them. And it is a beautiful feeling indeed!
All my best,