What to do when your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s ex pretends they’re still together

Awerpia asks: Although my girlfriend has been broken up with her ex for a year now, he still has numerous of her pictures with him posted on his Facebook account. She has made many efforts to convince him into deleting those pictures, but he has turned deaf ears. Even if we are to report him to Facebook for his account to be blocked, he has so many pictures of “both of them” that he can keep on posting on a different account. It’s very annoying and hurtful when I see those pictures or even just knowing that he posts them because it sends a false message to people as though they were still dating. Shirelle, I want the girl to be mine alone. I love her so much. What should I do? Should I just ignore it?

Hi Awerpia –

This is certainly one of the problems of social media.  Someday maybe there’ll be a way to fix it, but I don’t see any now.   I think you’re just stuck with it.

But imagine what it was like before Facebook and Instagram and all.  Would it bother you if your girlfriend’s ex had hard-copy photographs of them when they were a couple?  What if it were her ex-husband?

But in truth, even the photos aren’t the big issue, are they?  He has memories of her.  He has memories he can go back to any time he likes – even decades from now, if he’s married and has children, he will still be able to remember her from then.

The only solution to this is the old rule where people were paired up at birth.  Then there wouldn’t be any chance of this happening then!

But I don’t think you’d like that either.

What’s important is for you to own the fact that you have her NOW.  That he’s stuck posting old photos and pretending she’s still with him – imagine how painful that must be for him!  Knowing that she’s with you, laughing with you, kissing you!

What he does really doesn’t matter.  And it’ll stop the day he gets involved with someone new (who won’t tolerate him posting your girlfriend’s photo for one second!). 

What matters is that you have her.  And any attempts to mess with that just show how jealous he is.  So rub it in: go give her a big kiss from me right now!  Yeah, I mean my kind of kiss – a big lick on her nose!

That’ll show him!

All my best,


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