What to do when someone you like says you’re not attracted to them

Nsom asks: Hey, I really love this girl. But she says I’m not physically attracted to her. What should I do?

Hi Nsom –

This is one of the odder qualities of people, that I see every now and then.  

If I feel hungry, I feel hungry.  And anyone telling me I’m not is just silly.  And no one does that to us dogs.

But I see it all the time in humans:  “You’re angry.”  “You love her.”  Even “You’re cheating on me.”

And this one you’re hearing is equally goofy.  You know very well whether you’re attracted to this girl or not; and she clearly doesn’t know at all!

But perhaps there is one truth in here – maybe you could have let her know how attracted you are more.  Lots of guys don’t say things they’re feeling, like “Wow I love that dress on you” or “You have such beautiful eyes,” or “I think about your smile all day.”  

So perhaps, if you get another chance with her (or with another girl) you might work on that a bit more.

But once you’ve got that going, the next time she tells you what you’re feeling, or you’re not, feel free to tell her for me – That’s Goofy!

Best of Luck!


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